View Poll Results: What does Kingsley do next ?

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  • Carry on until I get sacked

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  • Move to another club (Germany/Holland/Italy)

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  • Do a different story

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Thread: [STORY] Life's A Lottery

  1. #51
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    They're working now
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  3. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fourfourtwo View Post
    Ukraine - could definitely be worse. You must have a couple of hundred players to choose from at least?
    Without a plot spoiler, I've found 93 players so far. About 50% are not good enough, or too old and much of the rest are outside of my budget.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  4. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kingsley View Post
    Without a plot spoiler, I've found 93 players so far. About 50% are not good enough, or too old and much of the rest are outside of my budget.
    Not so great then. Am sure you'll pull something (or someone) out of the bag though!

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    Life’s A Lottery


    Lets start with a question. What do Carpi and Espanyol have in common ?

    Spoiler!


    Two weeks after the transfer window closed, a huge crowd had gathered outside the training ground. Rumour had spread that Carpi had signed a truly world class player and a famous name in Italian football. It had all started with an optimistic phone call.

    Kingsley: Andriy mate ! How are you ?
    Andriy: Who is this ?
    Kingsley: Kingsley. Manager of Carpi FC 1909
    Andriy: Who ? …. to both !
    Kingsley: Never mind mate. I've been the manager of many other clubs under different names. I don't think you've ever played for any of my sides, but you've scored loads of goals against me. I remember one for Milan against Partick Thistle in a Champions league semi final. Curled into the top corner. Cracking goal. Broke my heart at Milan went through on away goals, but still a cracker.
    Andriy: I scored lots of goals against lots of sides. I don't remember it.
    Kingsley: That is true. You were some player. One of the best. I can even forgive that penalty miss against Liverpool. I did see Rafa Benitez hand a brown envelope to the officials just before they changed the ball, so not your fault mate. I see the fat spanish waiter can't even keep Newcastle in the Premier League. What a tosser.
    Andriy: What do you want ?
    Kingsley: Want ? Mate ! Nothing, just a chat. You were some player mate. Ever thought about putting on your boots again ?
    Andriy: Немає

    Yeh …. I thought it would be Нет too
    Kingsley: You are too young to have retired. Look at Fat Frank still playing, and you are twice the player he was. How old are you if it's not a rude question ?
    Andriy: 39 this month, and the answer is still Немає.

    That might have been the end of it, but he let slip that his wife had bought him a UEFA coaching licence for his birthday.

    It was not a good line and my Ukrainian is not as good as my Italian. Hell I didn't even know the word for no ! So I'm not sure whether she bought the licence, or bought the training to get the licence. In civil war torn Ukraine, I'm happy to believe that either is true.
    I told him to send me his CV as I was also looking for coaching staff. As soon as I saw it, I asked Giandominico Costi to see me. It took him 15 minutes to stagger through from next door. I told him to pack his beige cardigan, his zimmer frame and his cones and vattene !

    I had a deal with Alexiy to become my new assistant, but it did include finding a job for his mate, former Shakhtar and Ukraine player Olexandr Koval. That would not be a problem.




    It was not Koval who had drawn the crowds to the training ground.

    That did resolve the immediate problem with my coaching staff, however there was still an unresolved problem with the ageing scouts. For the time being I was keeping them very busy. They had all been recalled from the various trips that I had sent them on. None had uncovered a single Ukrainian player. Instead, I went through the list of players registered at the top flight Ukrainian clubs, including those out on loan and also the entire Ukrainian international and U21 squads. I asked for reports on all 97 players. There were objections about having to go to Ukraine at this time, however I reminded them that they were already close to death, so what difference would it make. Off they went and the reports started to come in. Most of them were either no where near the standard for Serie A, or way outside of my budget. I had 2.3m to spend and needed several players.

    I did find 5 Ukrainians who were out of contract, and offered trials to 4 of them (the other was 31 and out of breath after a 100m jog). From thatt, I offered contracts to 2 of them, Defender Yaroslav Olyinik and striker Yuri Yakovenko. Olyinik looks like a useful squad player, although I don't know where he will fit into the 3-4-3 formation. Yakovenko is one for the future if he can work on his physical fitness.


    On the pitch, Carpi proved that the opening win against Inter was no fluke. We followed it up by beating Palermo 2-1 and Atalanta 2-0, both at home and both against clubs who are likely to be in the relegation dogfight. It put us top of Serie A for 1 week and the fans were ecstatic. The first setback came on the road at Torino where we were soundly beaten 3-1. We were however a very difficult team to beat, and it was only our next visit to the other Turin club, 5 games later before we lost again. The run included memorable wins at home to AC Milan 2-0 and Fiorentina 3-0. We were clearly a bogey side for Milan as we put them out of the Coppa Italia with a 1-1 draw at the San Siro and a Lasagne Verdi double in 9 second half minutes to come from behind at home.


    The year ended with 5 drawn games in the league, although that included a visit from Napoli and a trip to Roma, so I can't complain, especially as we sit in a lofty 5th place and well clear of the relegation dogfight we were expected to be in.




    The problem has been scoring goals. Lasagne and Mbakogu have managed 4 each while Verdi has 5, mainly from midfield. We just don't look like a big scoring team, and are very reliant on the defence. That is not likely to get easier. It was not long after the transfer window closed that bids started to come in for the loan players, and there was not much I could do to stop it. I did submit counter bids to force the price up, but I had to stop at 2.3m. The transfer window reopens tomorrow and I will lose both my best keepers Brkic to Verona and Colombi to Palermo. My only right winger, Cofie is off to Chievo while Verdi is heading to Torino. Defensive midfielder Porcari is dropping down a division to Catania. Genoa and Lazio are sniffing around de Guzman, so the squad could well be decimated.

    On the counter, I do have 7 Ukrainians arriving on the first flight in from Kiev. They may have a combined 107 full international caps, but they are no where near the standard of Verdi and de Guzman.

    And to answer the question about Carpi and Espanyol …. They are the only teams to have beaten Inter this season. Espanyol 1-0 at home in the Inter-Toto cup and us 1-0 in the league opener.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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  7. #55
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    Andriy a goalie coach? Blimey!

    Looking forward to see who you sign to replace the ones leaving. A good position to be in league wise but you do need a goal scorer.

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  9. #56
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    " I asked for reports on all 97 players. There were objections about having to go to Ukraine at this time, however I reminded them that they were already close to death, so what difference would it make. "



    A good striker is surely to be a good GK coach, or kill dreams trying

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  11. #57
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    The what difference does it make joke made me laugh too

    Looks like you've got yourself in a very good position halfway through the season but the real overhaul is about to begin. Here's hoping you can at least get the odd win after the new faces come in to keep you around mid-table.

    Great capture of Shevchenko as a coach!
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  13. #58
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    You've made a great start, good job getting points on the board before your loan players leave!

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  15. #59
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    Helluva start. Will the Ukrainians bring it crashing to earth tho?!

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  17. #60
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    Decent buffer from you to the drop zone. I think you'll have decent enough attributes in the players coming in.

    Ukranians are not that bad are they?

  18. #61
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    Lifes A Lottery


    Ukraine International Airlines would like to announce the arrival of flight PS0311 form Kiev, Borispol


    This was it, the new recruits had arrived. A small fee in a brown envelope had ensured that there would be no issues at immigration and that their bags would be first off the carousel. Andriy was waiting to greet them with a friendly Здравствуйте Zdravstvuyte as they were led through by 3 of UIA's finest trolley dollies


    This is something that can definitely be improved as the story progresses
    Andriy led the gang to a waiting minibus as we were going straight to the training ground to assess their skills and fitness. Stefano had arranged a separate bus for the wifes and girlfriends. Clearly he had alternative plans and he had lathered himself with aftershave and groomed his chest hair


    All (of the players) passed their medicals and we were able to present the new signings to the press.

    First up was Artem Milevsky a seasoned international who had cost me just 100k from CS Concordia Chianja, in Romania. I was particularly drawn by his leadership potential, something I had identified that we were lacking. The former Kiev man has a decent scoring record (97 in 281 games) and I hope that he might be the man to boost our own poor return from the front men.


    With both of my first team keepers leaving having had their loans bought out, I needed to strengthen this department. I still had Vid Belec, who had been OK in the few games he had played. He would be fine as a number 2, but I needed a top keeper. I was therefore delighted to land the current Ukrainian stopper Bohdan Shust from Volyn Lutsk for 100k. He is no where near the level of Colombi or Brkic, but should be a safe pair of hands until something better crops up


    As a fall back, and hopefully one for the future, Georgi Bushchan thought he had a better chance of developing with Carpi than with the Dinamo Kiev 2nd team. Dinamo didn't try hard to keep him, which wories me and it took only 18k to bring him to Carpi. He does know that he will be 3rd choice for now.


    I hadn't lost any of my defenders, but when I got the chance to sign a current Ukrainian international center back, and one that was naturally left footed, I snapped up Evgen Selin from Dinamo Kiev. He had been on loan with Platanias, in Greece, so clearly out of favour, so keen to make a move to a club where he is wanted. The 1m spent would have used up a massive chunk of my budget, but I agreed with Kiev to spread the payments over 24 months and they were happy to accept the deal. He will move straight into the left of my back 3.


    The midfield had been decimated with the departures of my only right winger (Cofie) and my only usable defensive midfielder (Porcari) as well as Verdi and De Guzman who had accounted for 8 goals and 5 assists. Reinforcements were clearlyneeded and for the defensive role, my scouts turned up a bit of a gem from the Russian second tier. Stanislav Prychynenko (known as Stan) was out of favour at Tosno and had been on loan with Volgar Astrakhan. His record is nothing great, but he looks to have the makings of a solid midfielder, and there is still time for him to improve. For 85k he was certainly worth a punt.


    For the more more advanced roles I found 2 utility players who can both play anywhere across the midfield. Firstly Denys Kozhanov who looks to be very creative and wile hopefully increase the chances for the front 3. Shakhtar let me have him for 350k and immediately recalled him from his loan at Karpaty. My first job will be to wean him off the Ukrainian pies. Some light salads will be his diet for the next few weeks.


    Secondly, a name familiar to fans of Derby and Southampton is Andrejs Pereplotkins for whom Riga accepted an offer of just 35k. Although he plays for Latvia, he was actually born Ukrainian and switched nationality in 2007. He certainly has the pace to frighten defenders, although I do worry about what he does when the ball is at his feet.


    I had no direct replacement for Verdi, although Milevsky, Pereplotkins and Kozhanov can all fill that role. With the new recruits in place it was time to test out the new 3-4-3 formation. First up was Inter, at home, in the second leg of the Copa quarter final. We had a 1-0 deficit to overturn and would have to be at our very best. I didn't want to make too many changes, so just 3 of the Ukranians started.


    The formation is an addaption of a 3-1-4-2, with the wingers pulled back when off the ball and the central midfielders split to send one fourther forward. I really didn't like it very much, but the original had been solid. We were played off the park by an Inter side that never got out of first gear. It took just 9 minutes for Icardi to open the scoring and from then, the result was never in doubt. Kozhenov and Pereplotkins made second half debuts but it was asking a lot to turn this game. It was de Guzman's final outing for Carpi before his move to Sampdoria.

    A few tweaks to the formation, to keep the left and right defender as narrow as possible and the wingbacks as attacking as possible and I hoped for an improvement at Genoa. We also had a new arrival in Andriy Gaidash, a forward from SKA-Energiya in the Russian lower league. 100k again sealed the deal and I hope that we now have enough firepower to get some goals from up front. He was elevated straight to the bench.


    At first glance, a 2-1 win in Genoa would be a good result, and a goal from Gaidash coming off the bench a positive sign. There were few others. We trailed for most of the game and didn't have a shot at goal until after 60 minutes. By then, Genoa were leading, but had Burdiso sent off for a bit of rough and tumble with Mbakogu at a set piece. I saw nothing much in it. With our second shot Gaidash gave us a scarcely deserved equaliser, then, deep into injury time, De Maio went in hard on Lasagne, second red card and a penalty. Letizia converted and we stole all 3 points.

    The rest of the month was very scrappy, but somehow we picked up a few points, far more than we deserved. We currently sit 4th, but I am looking over my shoulder at the midfield pack. I think we have done enough to stay clear of Udinese in 12th, but we are only 9 clear of Sampdoria. The forwards are doing a bit better, Milevski has 2, Gaidash 2 and Mbakogu 1 since the start of the year.




    More importantly, I am expecting a call from Mark with the next set of restrictions. I just hope for 4 at the back .. PLEASE ! I did get one clarification, and that is on Bosman signings. Providing that all of the paperwork is completed before the end of the current transfer window, the players will be allowed to join in the summer when the contracts expire. I therefore have a further 3 Ukrainians arriving on 1st July . If I still have a job.
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  20. #62
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    Pretty sure you'll still have a job with Carpi being 4th!

    Some good signings in there. Main GK looks decent enough as do Milevskiy and Selin.
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  22. #63
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    That's a decent month I'd say - more good results than you'd have predicted with that formation. And some decent signings too. All seems to be going well... time for a crazy formation change...

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  24. #64
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    Sitting relatively pretty in 4th.
    Can't complain at that at all.

    Good to get some internationals in as well. Was expecting full on dross after the last update hints.

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  26. #65
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    I didn't know the standard 3-4-3 had an AM as one of the attacking three!

    I think you've done good business in the transfer market there - Milevskiy, Selin, Kozhanov and both keepers look up to the job I'd say, and you've done well to keep the fees to a minimum.

    Out of the cup is probably a blessing but the top three are pulling away, not surprised you're looking over your shoulder rather than ahead. Five games played and you've actually gone up a place though

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  28. #66
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    Wahahahah - I like Stefano

    Milevsky looks AWESOME

    Shust looks great as well!

    Selin looks extremely solid

    Koshanov could be a suprise

    You pai peanuts for those signings as well! How's the bank balance looking now?


    Good month of results again!

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  30. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark View Post
    Pretty sure you'll still have a job with Carpi being 4th!

    Some good signings in there. Main GK looks decent enough as do Milevskiy and Selin.
    I'm not so sure about the job. I get nasty e-mails from Stefano if we lose 2 in a row

    Quote Originally Posted by Fourfourtwo View Post
    That's a decent month I'd say - more good results than you'd have predicted with that formation. And some decent signings too. All seems to be going well... time for a crazy formation change...
    The results have been better than the play. I'm just aiming for a top 10. Is this formation not crazy enough ? I just can't get it to work. Very exposed to a counter attack down the centre of the park

    Quote Originally Posted by ebfatz View Post
    Sitting relatively pretty in 4th.
    Can't complain at that at all.

    Good to get some internationals in as well. Was expecting full on dross after the last update hints.
    Quote Originally Posted by kuy View Post
    I didn't know the standard 3-4-3 had an AM as one of the attacking three!

    I think you've done good business in the transfer market there - Milevskiy, Selin, Kozhanov and both keepers look up to the job I'd say, and you've done well to keep the fees to a minimum.

    Out of the cup is probably a blessing but the top three are pulling away, not surprised you're looking over your shoulder rather than ahead. Five games played and you've actually gone up a place though
    I think you have picked the best of the signings in Milevsky, Selin and Shust, although I think that the DMC "Stan" might prove to be valuable. Ukraine doesn't have the depth it had when Shevchenko, Rebrov and Voronin were together. I'd have loved to be able to get hold of Konoplyanka, Yarmolenko or Kravets, but they are way out of my league, and I needed numbers, not one or 2 stars. There are also some pretty shit players out there with international caps.
    Quote Originally Posted by Redknapp69 View Post
    Wahahahah - I like Stefano

    Milevsky looks AWESOME

    Shust looks great as well!

    Selin looks extremely solid

    Koshanov could be a suprise

    You pai peanuts for those signings as well! How's the bank balance looking now?


    Good month of results again!
    Carpi is the gift that keeps on giving. The pictures are of the real Stefano. I couldn't believe my luck at having a slease-ball for a chairman.

    The bank balance is currently 1,682,666 in profit. The transfer budget has not changed since the start and is stil 2.3m. Maximum wage is around 11,000 per week.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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  32. #68
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    Lifes A Lottery

    First came the e-mail


    Then the phone call

    Kingsley: Ah ! Mr. Mark. We have been expecting you.
    Mark: Watch it ! I'm the ruthless megalomanic with a shady and secretive past. Pleased to see that you like my formation. Muhahahaha !

    We hate Vale. We hate Vale. We hate Vale

    Kingsley: OK. Lets get this over with. Anything is better that 3-4-3, but can I request a 4 man back line please.
    Mark: Not so fast. You will get what you are given. First I must tell you the story of how Stoke are going to dominate the world, or alternatively I could sing you a chorus of Delilah if you like. My My My Delilah do do do do do do do .
    Kingsley: Oh just get on with it
    Mark: The tactic is number 8 .. That's interesting
    Kingsley: WHAT IS INTERESTING ?
    Mark: 3-5-2 Attacking


    Kingsley: OK. I can work with that. I'd rather have a DM than the AM, but it has to be better than 3-4-3. What about a country
    Mark: That will be 161 . Also interesting
    Kingsley: Why ? Who ?
    Mark: Another country ravaged by a civil war. Your scouts will love this. They are heading for Africa .
    Kingsley: Cut the crap ! Who ?

    Spoiler!
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  34. #69
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    Is it mandatory to sign at least one player per country that is assigned to you or is it just a restriction when planning on new recruitments?

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  36. #70
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    Can you still sign Ukrainians now as well?

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  38. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vrkh View Post
    Is it mandatory to sign at least one player per country that is assigned to you or is it just a restriction when planning on new recruitments?
    It is just a restriction for new transfers. I expect that some countries might be so small that they don't have any payers.

    Quote Originally Posted by Redknapp69 View Post
    Can you still sign Ukrainians now as well?
    That is it for Ukrainians (unless they get randomly drawn again) as per the last update, I have a couple arriving on Bosmans in the summer, but I can't look for any more.
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  40. #72
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    3-5-2, not too bad. It's do-able.

    Not too sure about the African country though, who could it be... Egypt? They are part of the African Nations!
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  42. #73
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    Lifes A Lottery



    Mark: That will be Sierra Leone
    Kingsley: Allegro ! Get me the phone number for . Shit ! The only player I can think of is Thistle's Muzzy Dumbaya. Much as I love the guy, I don't need a rightback and if I did, I'm not sure he's Serie A. Are there any decent players from Sierra Leone ?
    Allegro: SIGH So now I'm a scout as well as everything else !
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  44. #74
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    I have a soft spot for the 3-5-2 Attacking, it just looks nice! Hope it treats you well

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  46. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark View Post
    3-5-2, not too bad. It's do-able.

    Not too sure about the African country though, who could it be... Egypt? They are part of the African Nations!
    Quote Originally Posted by kuy View Post
    I have a soft spot for the 3-5-2 Attacking, it just looks nice! Hope it treats you well
    Not unhappy at all with the 3-5-2 Attacking, although I would rather that the AMC was a DMC. I always think that having 3 players in attacking roles meens that they get in the way of each other ! Also, once again I have no use for my full backs.

    God knows what the hell I do with Sierra Leone. Other than Muzzy Dumbaya, I don't know of any other Sierra Leonians. A quick look at their national side doesn't fill me with much hope. Curtis Davis, but I don't need a 32 year old central defender, and an attacker at Frosinone who they have only bought and will be reluctant to sell. "Ports Authority" looks to be the biggest club. I hope that there are some famous names who have a second nationality
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