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Thread: A naughty Villan...

  1. #1
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    A naughty Villan...

    Alright fuckers - been a long time

    Today i got the urge to fire up this legendary game for the first time in a long time, so thought - lets make a story out of it, so here it is.

    My stories are light on made up conversations and hyperbole, heavy on focussing on the actual nitty gritty, the games, the tables, the transfers, so without further ado...

    Just got a fancy to sort Villa out - too big a club to be languishing in the Championship, so do one Brucey, a proper gaffer is in town.



    Long term aims? None yet, not targeting a second European Cup or owt, just immediate promotion back to the top flight and build from there.

    The initial aim is to bring in enough quality quickly to rip this league to shreds.

    Walking in the door i saw a lot of filler, deadwood and some utter crap in the squad, so immediately listed plenty, bought McCormack back from loan and set to work on hiring proper scouts/coaches etc.

    Pre-Season transfer roundup - managed to raise a good 10m for shifting deadwood, only spending a third of it on players that should be good enough if we go up:



    Also snagged Troy Deeney on a three month loan from Watford - he should tear this league a new arsehole.

    First game then and we travel to Huddersfield away, we know Wagner will have them fired up for the big club coming to town, can we get off to a good start?

    All the new signings play.

    Spoiler!


    An even first half where Deeneys debut goal gets us back on terms is followed by a pretty drab second.

    We take the point and move on. Disappointing display in truth we never really looked like bossing it, but eh, cant win em all.

    After the game we find out an old Villa favourite has agreed to join us on loan from Manchester Utd to bolster the midfield options. Welcome back to Villa Park Ashley Young.

    The first home game sees Barnsley in town, surely we should be giving the likes of these a good shafting if we want to be achieving our aim?

    We'll see in the next update when i get chance to play more.

    If youre reading...gizza shout!

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  3. #2
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    Like the writing style

    Cool font as well in game - what is it?

    Some good strong incomings - how does the first XI+bench look like?

    What sort of formation/tactics etc?

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  5. #3
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    Starting using the April update obviously.

    The font is Poetsen One Regular.

    Playing my own 4-1-3-2 with plenty of modding to how i like my sides to play, attacking from the off and getting men forward, i always look for plenty of goals from the attacking midfielders as well as front men.

    Ive got what should be a very strong 22 man squad now for this league, so many games i always like two men per position, essentially.

    Thanks for following - ill be playing more as time goes on.

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  7. #4
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    Bulk ya dick
    This is how is how it feels to be Celtic,
    Champions again as you'll know,
    Brendan Rodgers here for 10 in a row
    10 in a row

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  9. #5
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    sold a ref to napoli for 500k, good job pal
    This is how is how it feels to be Celtic,
    Champions again as you'll know,
    Brendan Rodgers here for 10 in a row
    10 in a row

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  11. #6
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    Eyup Beez me ode china

    Anyway, back to the first home game of the long campaign, those Yorkshire bastards from Barnsley in town.

    Lets despatch them eh lads? Surely?

    Spoiler!


    Yes, smashed to pieces, 25 attempts to 5 and M'Vila runs riot grabbing the lot, with nearly 36,000 inside Villa Park too, excellent crowd for the first game in a lower division.

    Ive seen worse home debuts.

    We get on the bus for a League Cup first round clash away at Bolton.

    Ill be rotating completely, give fringe players a run out - genuinely win or lose i dont care, cups are not my aim this season.

    Its a good job i didnt care...

    Spoiler!


    Utterly appalling display with precisely NO FUCKING ONE putting their hand up for a first team spot.

    Anyway, as i say, not the priority, we move on.

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    Brentfords shitbag local bus company rolls into Birmingham.

    We aim for a repeat of the superb display against Barnsley, all 11 jokers from the Bolton debacle dropped.

    Spoiler!


    Piece of piss, their keeper was sent off early, they had not one attempt, and we crushed them like a snail under a steamroller, as we should have done.

    Two more for the on fire M'Vila.

    3 games unbeaten in the league, 7 points, 9 goals, 2 conceded. Ill take that start.

    A tougher assignment next up on paper, as we travel to Norwich for a bank holiday clash, a good 2,500 Villans following us to East Anglia.

    I decided to go unchanged, even though we had only two days rest from the last game, as we have an International break after this.

    Wrong decision?

    Spoiler!


    We bossed the first half. It didnt come. I fancied it would in the second. I was right, as Kodjia grabs his first goal for the club off the bench. Great sub from the manager. Probably contributed to my deserved manager of the month award.

    After the fortnight break we resume our campaign on the road in the shit tip known as Rotherham.

    They are crap, we should beat them.

    You certainly cant say it wasnt entertaining...

    Spoiler!


    Sped two up, lost the lead, flew back late. Appalling defensive effort, but at least we can score our way out of trouble.

    Cant moan at the league table after the first 5 games though in all honesty.


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  15. #8
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    Got the Villa firing. Can't see you being stopped
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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  17. #9
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    Good to see you on here again, Bulk! Enjoyed that last story you did, just had a look to see who it was - Crystal Palace 4 years ago

    M'Vila with a storming start Deeney and Young should cruise it at this level, you'll romp to the title.

    You not fancied giving saturn's patch a go?
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  19. #10
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    Not aware of it Mark, what does it do?

    Just had a look - nah not for me, so many changes just increase the risk of crashes and corruptions down the line, dont fancy that.

    More playing to come later.

  20. #11
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    Good stuff Mr Bulk - cracking league start - let's forget the cup shall we

    Continue to love your way with words in the story telling - right up my street

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  22. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bulk View Post
    Not aware of it Mark, what does it do?

    Just had a look - nah not for me, so many changes just increase the risk of crashes and corruptions down the line, dont fancy that.

    More playing to come later.
    Actually it has fixed a lot of bugs and is far more stable. I wouldn't use anything else.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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  24. #13
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    Meanwhile the moaning and frankly unneeded Carlos Sanchez is listed - fuck off you Afro wanker with your big wage and shit displays.

    The next Villa Park victim would (hopefully) be Colin Wanker and his Cardiff side.

    Spoiler!


    Over 40,000 pack the famous old ground to see us cruise comfortably enough.

    We roll on.

    A 10m bid (all my money but i know how good he will go on to become) for Moussa Dembele at Celtic is turned down, so when an old favourite of mine (considering who i support in real life) is publically listed, i move straight in to beef up our striking options...

    We travel to rock bottom Burton Albion (lol at you Nigel you wanker), 7 defeats from 7, top v bottom, good team v shit team.

    We have 20 attempts, they have 5.

    You all know what happened next.

    Spoiler!


    Vintage CM. Got to lose the unbeaten league record sometime, and why not do it in style to biggest sack of shit in the league

    Good news to end this update as Nobchez is smashed out Birmingham.


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  26. #14
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    Another brilliant update in style - love it

    Good win v Cardiff and the CM curse comes in epic proportions v Burton - you couldn't make it up!

    How much did Dembele end up going for and to who?

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  28. #15
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    Who did you actually sign instead of Dembele? Or has it not gone through yet?
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  29. #16
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    Dembele not sold to anyone...yet.

    13 goals in 8 games averaging 8.93 - it wont take long.

    Tried for Assombalonga Mark - he didnt want to come, wanker!

    More play later.

    Itll be a slow story this one as i dont get chance to play that often but ill keep it coming as and when i can.

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  31. #17
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    Aye - Britt seems a bit beastly in last update

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    So in to town roll the Royals of Reading.

    Spoiler!


    Battered them from start to finish, but didnt seal it till late.

    Back on track.

    We lose Ashley Young as Watford come in and buy him from Utd, i could have competed but didnt want to, we'll get someone else in.

    Midweek lights sees that tinpot club based on Whelans and fuck all else Wigan visit.

    We'll show them a proper club, i thought.

    In fairness to Wigan they opened it up and had a go, didnt do them much good though.

    Spoiler!


    Transfer dealings in the offing, hopefully some incomings shortly, a stellar name is surprisingly up for the move...

    Also Gabby Agbonlahor is moaning he wants a new deal...be still my aching sides

    The days go by and we get on the road to Preston, used to be shitbag ground, no so bad now.

    A quite fucking ridiculous game.

    Spoiler!


    From 3-1 up to 5-3 down to grabbing a draw.

    Defensively we are leaky but score goals for fun - if we go up a massive investment in the back line and keeper will be needed.

    Meanwhile, something to get the Villa fans excited...

    Spoiler!


    Till the end of next season, got him for no signing on fee and a reasonable 15k a week, even at his age should tear this league to pieces and be good for one more year in the Prem if we get there.

    Bargain.

    Bad news as we hear Jedinak goes down for 3 months - we'll miss him, but in other incoming news, after they listed him, he decided to come to Papa...

    Spoiler!


    He wouldnt accept without a release clause, wanted 3.5m, obviously i raised it to 20m.

    The now surplus to requirements Scott Hogan is immediately listed.

    We finish off this update with big one. Birmingham away. The Brum derby. We MUST smash these cunts.

    We will. Both new signings play.

    It couldnt have gone more fucking wrong.

    Spoiler!


    Two down and the keeper off, we tried but had no chance in the end despite their red.

    Wankers.

    We'll get revenge at Villa Park later in the season on and off the pitch you Zulu wankers

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  35. #19
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    Damn, expected a smashing of Birmingham when you signed Toure and Assombalonga! Be interesting to see how Toure beds in!
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  37. #20
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    Yaya at Villa

    You are already smashing the league (Birmingham excluded) and you add Britt. You don't like giving anyone else a chance !
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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  39. #21
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    Beefy update!

    2 cracking signings - Yaya should smash it there

    Preseton was a mad game - must be a few points clear now

    Assume the fans are stoked but any grumblings since the loss to the Blue side of the City?

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  41. #22
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    Will be walking this league. Done by end of March I predict.

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  43. #23
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    The fury from the Birmingham debacle subsides as Sheffield not Thursday not Friday but Wednesday arrive at Villa Park.

    Changes from the St. Andrews shitshow are made.

    They languish in 20th, we need to get this show back on the road.

    Spoiler!


    Another crazy game but job done, Yaya and Britt netting their first for the club, the recalled McCormack repaying me with a treble. Good lad.

    I have more irons in the midfield market too, dont think we are quite as strong as i want there...

    We travel to Shitineux to take on the yam yams from Wolverhampton.

    At home we are impregnable, its away form we need to sort out.

    Could we?

    Spoiler!


    Mark Bunn you utter fucking cunt. I gave him a go...3 starts, 2 red cards, shitloads of goals conceded and 2 games cost.

    Total fucking wanker.

    He wont see my first team again. Ever. If it comes to it ill put my chairman in net over that tosser.

    Then this French Juan Kerr pipes up



    I was only resting you when the game was over.

    Nob.

    Its all fun and games in this one!

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  45. #24
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    Wahahahahahaha - M'Vila prob felt he could have made a difference v Wolves

    2 West Midlands derbies both lost now - fans must be fuming!

    Why the feck are you giving this other keeper a go? And in a derby away?!

    Helluva win v Sheff Wed though!

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  47. #25
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    what is youre tactics ?

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