View Full Version : Worst National Team

09-08-13, 09:20 PM
This is an indepth question, so please don't just all yell "San Marino" at me....

The specific reason I am asking is to decide who to take over in my story, but I think it is a good standalone question anyway.

What I want is purely your opinion, I will explain a few things

The objective
the aim is to take over a poor side and see how much you can improve it.

Only one I can think of - the team has to be one that takes part in the world cup, depending on what database you run this will exclude various sides, most of them are the tiny Asian countries, but there are some in most confederations. Using the editors I can make any nation playable. Oh, they must have enough players to form a team with too, which excludes Tahiti as they have no goalkeepers in my DB. Oh I suppose I should add that I am only talking about the game world, not IRL. (my game has the start of 2012/13 DB)

The next thing to consider is this question (and again the answer to this is personal to you) does "worst" mean "team with the least talent available" or "team with the lowest rating"

Now the teams with the least talent are going to be those with tiny populations, these are mostly in the Caribbean, or the Pacific. but there are also the European micro-nations.
The teams with the lowest rankings are those that have lost the most games, but these could be VERY different to the above, as those countries in the Caribbean and Pacific tend to play other similar tiny countries and so are more likely to pick up wins than the weakest teams in UEFA and CONMEBOL (South America) as although these teams may have a lot of players available (and some of decent quality) they can easily go on huge endless runs by constantly playing teams vastly better than themselves.

So the nominations are
current lowest ranked side in my game Estonia
+ Euope sides get a lot of games with full qualifying campaigns for the Euros and World cups, you can easily get your players signed to playable leagues which will increase their CA to their PA, which is (as I have found out) an incredibly important factor in improving your side. All countries have plenty of players to choose from too.
- the seeding system means you will always face sides better than yourself. The biggest negative is that I have played as San Marino is UEFA already, so don't think it will be much different having another European side

CONMEBOL (South America)
Current lowest ranked side = Bolivia (real life too)
+ simple qualification campaign, one big group, which gives loads of games. Always qualify for Copa America (there are only 10 sides in CONMEBOL so no need for qualifyers) lots of players to choose from, players can easily play in Brazil/Argentina leagues to increase CA
- you have to play Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay, Colombia all the time, the world cup qualifyers are condensed into 13 months, Bolivia just doesn't sound that tiny

CONCACAF (North America)
current lowest ranked side = Anguilla
+ fun to play as such a tiny island, get to play other tiny islands, world cup campaign can have the most games (as has many, many rounds)
- no regional cup, world cup has knock-out rounds, you could get just two games in four years if you lose, incredibly tiny number of players and almost no chance to increase CA as they speak English but need work permits to play in UK

AFC (asia)
Current lowest ranked side = Iraq
+ IRL Iraq has some decent young players, DB probably has some of them, its not a place many go to, you get to play weird and wonderful sides, the world cup has two group rounds so you will probably get some games, there are lots of other terrible sides you should be able to beat
- where would Iraqi players sign to, to increase CA? the regional cup has no qualifiers and I don't know what criteria the game uses to invite you

CAF (Africa)
Current lowest ranked side = Niger
+ for historical reasons, there are huge numbers of dual nationalities, for Niger and many others its France (also Belgium, Spain, Portugal) to get better players and gives easy opportunities to get them to play in playable leagues to increase CA, as with Asia, a chance to play counties you haven't even heard of!
- African sides always sack managers after a while, every time I have managed an African side they have played worse than they should, the African cup (like Asia) has no qualifiers, the world cup qualifiers has a preliminary knock-out round which if you lose, you get just two games in four years.

OFC (Oceania)
Current lowest ranked side = Vanuatu
+ like Anguilla, the chance to manage such a tiny side is just hilarious, without Australia only New Zealand really stands in your way and Tahiti beat them in real life to get to the confederation cup,
- pool of players next to none, almost impossible to get them to sign anywhere to increase CA, very few nations in OFC and World cup and OFC cup only play one leg games, meaning very few competetive games every four year cycle, lack of decent opposition might get boring

So, I am very interested in everyone's opinion. As I have said, I myself am very undecided.

09-08-13, 09:31 PM
American Samoa, Montserrat, Andorra?

09-08-13, 09:42 PM
Montserrat? They are 102nd in the world and have six players with a PA over 100! That is too easy the Czech Repulic are 72 places worse than them!
Andorra do not take part in competetive competitions on my game
American Samoa are the 2nd worst side in OFC, after Vanutu. They also have 47 players to Vanuatu's 35

09-08-13, 09:45 PM
Montserrat? They are 102nd in the world and have six players with a PA over 100! That is too easy the Czech Repulic are 72 places worse than them!
Andorra do not take part in competetive competitions on my game
American Samoa are the 2nd worst side in OFC, after Vanutu. They also have 47 players to Vanuatu's 35

Really? :lol:

Vanuatu looks a good bet to me :)

11-08-13, 12:02 AM
Massive OP for such a simple question :lol:

11-08-13, 12:45 AM
Massive response to OP for such a simple question :sad:

11-08-13, 09:58 AM
Iraq!!! Give something different lol.

12-08-13, 11:51 AM
Iraq did well in U-20 cup and their LB Ali Adnan moved to Turkish super league's new side Çaykur Rizespor.

Also I think i heard that Simon Kuper predicts Iraq to be lot better in the future :P

How about Nepal?

12-08-13, 12:40 PM
Iraq won the Asian Cup not too long ago as well.

12-08-13, 07:53 PM
Indonesia have loads of players in DB but are muck - majority are CA65, PA80

12-08-13, 08:12 PM
San Marino... Och wait xD.

Hmm... Who is next on the list closest to San Marino then... ;)

Andorra. Somalia. Buthan. Cambodia. Madagascar (King Julian playing footy).

Pick your favorite...

12-08-13, 11:03 PM
And the winner is.... Bolivia

13-08-13, 08:35 AM

17-08-13, 09:52 AM
Based on the criteria I set I decided it was bolivia. Their record was p44 w4 and in the 18 game world cup qualifying campaigb lost 15 of them. You would think needing to finish 5th out of 10 wouldn't be so hard but they are inferior to ebery other south american side and must regularly face brazil, argentina, uruguay and colombia. In real life the average bolivian income is half that of its neighbours and I was the shithole country (along with haiti) in the film quatum of solace. No, they certainly don't have the worst players, but they have the worst chance of achieving anything. All the countries yyou all named will generally face equally weak nations, look at tahiti, in real life they got to the confederations cup.
I took over boliva in the game and lost 4-1 to their nearest equals venezeula, but it would crash when it wanted to play the u21s, I could just holiday through it but I couldn't be bothered

21-02-14, 11:49 PM

22-02-14, 03:33 PM
Somalia - only 3 players with more than 100 PA

22-02-14, 03:38 PM
South Sudan? Sealand ;)

22-02-14, 04:02 PM
I saw the Sealand goalkeeper play earlier this season. He was awful of course.

22-02-14, 04:02 PM
Scotland - 6-4-0 anyone? thanks for that Levein :smash:



25-02-14, 01:47 PM
It may be a simple question, but like so many simple questions the answer depends on what answer it is you want.

If you want to go for the worst team then it must be one of the smaller Caribbean islands. They play hardly any games and as you have said, the players rarely go to play outside their own island. I think because of the qualification criteria they are marginally more shit than the Pacific islands.

Now I think the question you wanted to ask was which is the crappiest nation that you can manage and still write a decent story about. Here it has to be Africa or Asia. Both have minnows as well as major nations. Both have lengthy qualifying tournaments and regular continental tournaments and both have problems getting players into European based clubs. Therefore crappy players tend to stay crappy.

There is a third option which is which is the crappiest nation that you can improve by giving their least crappy players the best training. Fot that it has to be Europe and preferably an EU country, like Malta or Faroes (or San Marino, but you have been there). I have ruled out South America as even the crappy nations, like Venezuela and Bolivia have some pretty decent players and the tournaments give plenty of chances to topple the big boys.

There is a fourth question which would be "What crappy nation would you like me to write a story about ?". For that, it has to be North Korea. I think that with your style, you could do wonders with the politics of reporting to Kim Jong-Un. It was one that I had been thinking of, but I'll let you have it if you want it.

See .... not such a simple OP after all !

25-02-14, 01:57 PM
Had a save with Curacao before. They have some decent players available with 2nd nationality, Jurgen Locadia being the pick. But even with a decent wib/wobbed tactic couldn't get them out of the CONACAF draw. They got passed the dross in the 2 early rounds but the likes of Mexico, Honduras, Costa Rica and USA are just way above them. Beat Honduras 1-0 at home and got beat 6-0 away and they finished 4th. Don't think we registered a shot on goal away to Mexico!

Was a fun challenge though.

25-02-14, 02:11 PM


Watch now Ireland will drop points against them!

25-02-14, 02:54 PM


Watch now Ireland will drop points against them!

Scotland will play them before Ireland and therefore will have an earlier chance to drop points against them. (Also drop points to Georgia to rule us out of qualifying before we beat Germany in Berlin .... It is the Scotland way !)

25-02-14, 04:05 PM
Guys, I posted that in August!

Everything that Eejit said is correct

25-02-14, 08:12 PM
Everything that Eejit said is correct

I have a new signature :lol:

17-06-14, 08:32 PM
how do you make any nation playable?

17-06-14, 08:34 PM