Let me go on a little rant.

Here in Australia, television is a very important part of people's lives. Shame it's so shit. We have 5 primary networks that branch out further, and I'll explain why each of them are terrible. We have channel 7, 9,10, SBS and the ABC.

The ABC
A network with such evident political bias to be ridiculed. Seeing as it's funded by our government it has to be biased, right? Well, it is, from not even covering stories of government mishaps and protests agaisnt the government, they're now trying to stream comedy shows that are just genuinely useless, and they're biggest show, isn't even hosted by an Australian. They're very mediocre, but it gets worse.

SBS
SBS really get under my skin, because they stream what nobody cares about. They have FULL liscencing to stream the Premier League, yet they stream ONE match every weekend. ONE! To make way for, wait for it. Foreign news! Macedonian, Polish, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, Russian and French bulletins are all more important than the Prem? And it shows, because they've lost money due to the fact that they stream these shows instead of the EPL. On top of that, they're funded by the governemt too and are just generally uselss. Next!

Channel Nine
Errrrr. Channel Nine. Hosts of the Rugby League and....... that's about it. Hosting shithouse programs like Married at First Sight, a show that's funny because of how dumb the contestants are, Travel Guides and now Bad Mothers that are all just seriously rubbish. But people watch it! A Current Affair, the most frustrating news show on the air, just streaming angry pensioners cussing at their neighbours as well as the latest scandal that's "going to hit your shopping bags." I swear Tracy Grimshaw has never covered anything of use to Australia. 60 Minutes is no better. Next up is the Today show, a breakfast news show on the verge of closure because people hate it. The Block is OK, it's watchable at best but it's just one of many "house renovating shows" that float around here. Love Island, let's get a bunch of dumb, stupid men and women looking for love, give em a script full of stuff to stir trouble and get ratings. Yay! The Voice, noone watches that anymore because of how poor the judges are these days. Doctor Doctor, a drama show I've shown no interest in. The Footy Show, a rugby league program that was taken off the air last year because of how pathetic it was. Millionaire Hot Seat is good, only problem is is the host is just a very hateable person. Now they've brought in a known rapist in Jimmy Swaggart to host a 24hr Christian program from reruns of him singing and then reciting stuff from the Bible. Grunt.


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Lastly we have Family Food Fight, the worst cooking show I've ever seen. All I ever hear is "we don't have enough time."

Channel Seven
We continue to the AFL and the Cricket hosting Channel Seven, with a platter of garbage for themselves. My Kitchen Rules is a better version of Family Food Fight, but it's a loooong way off being good. Sunrise is even worse than Today, a bunch of fools sitting on a couch talking to beat up celebs hoping to get ratings. Home and Away, a well respected, piece of shit drama show that I just despise. Yummy Mummies, I mean, nobody watched that show. Sunday Night is good, I'll give them that, covering good stories you don't hear about. Instant Hotels is rubbish, just a bunch of people who have lots of money and nice houses trying to win a comp. Boring! Then we have Dancing with the Stars, if AC Milan hosted a dance show. Then we look at a number of rubbish drama shows that went on for 3 years maximum, and then we hit House Rules. Nobody watches that show!

Channel Ten
Here we go, ladies and gentlemen. Channel Ten. Now the actual hosts of Dancing with the Stars, yep, you heard me. And then we hit the Project, and Waleed Ali. Hoo boy. i HATE Waleed Ali. A rich, posh, annoying human being who won a Golden Logie for hosting a news show. Bondi Rescue isn't bad, and neither is Masterchef, but Masterchef's hosts apparently want to kill each other so we'll see what happens there. We hit the Living Room, it's OK, I've watched it a couple of times, but then they stole a few shows from overseas. Family Feud, didn't work. Pointless, didn't work.


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Then they've installed Chris and Julia's Sunday Night Takeaway, a crime and an insult against this country. This network has had it's share of good and bad, but the point is, our premium TV networks belong to Foxtel and......


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That means to get a sport package alone, you need to fork out 30 GBP a month! And the whole thing? 75GBP a month! Ridiculously expensive!

So, what are your television services like?