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Thread: [STORY] A Golden and Fearless Ambition

  1. #226

    Join Date
    05-03-12
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    Didn't say what my injury was, but I'm guessing a delayed nose bleed as I crossed the half way line in the previous game.

    Quality update !

  2. #227

    Join Date
    02-03-12
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    The First Journey
    Chapter Eight and A Half:
    Love Nor Glory


    After a month of being undefeated, and in which the team annihilated the monthly awards, it seemed so clear that we needed to expand on the progress we had started to make so far in March, in order to finally be released from the clutches of Newport's grasp – and with them standing in the way between us getting into the FA Trophy Final – I was inspired more then I had ever been before!

    Due to the transfer restrictions which was put on me as well, I started to look into the players which I would be able to get for next season on a bosman. Not wanting to put to much animosity in the air, I decided it would be best to wait for a while before I announced who the club was looking to sign, as it might cause some tension with the players.

    After only two days of the month passed, we had a match against Ebbsfleet, whom we drew the first time that we went against at their ground – and with Newport only having a point difference with ourselves – it meant we had to be ready to give it our all! And after coming off the 3-1 win over Stockport I wanted to have the same players, with both Eejit and Liam injured – Eejit still injured from his strained ankle ligaments and Liam spraining his wrist – it meant that Jose Hernandez would be playing at right-back and that Van der Voom would be placed onto the empty space on the bench.



    Saturday 2nd March 2013
    English Conference
    Newark v. Ebbsfleet

    4-1
    (Zbimg '3 '19 '45, Hemphill '27)(Enver-Marum '67)
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    Another terrific performance from Zbimg earned a most deserved three points, and another Man of the Match award for the prolific young Italian, who kept making impressions. It was a simple pass from Hoolihan which unleashed the pursuing Zbimg, who charging as fast as a pimp when his bottom bitch was offering freebies! He calmly took the opportunity with a nice side-footed shot into the back of the net with the first shot on target equalling the first goal on three minutes. It took another sixteen minutes for the brace, as Hemphill dribbled past the away midfield slotting it to Wato, who waited patiently to feed the ball through to the unmarked Zbimg who slotted it in with a nice half volley! Nineteen minutes played and two goals, and surely game over!

    But no! Ediz picked up the free ball and charged up-field and looked certain to score his first goal in such a long while only to be tackled perfectly by Soares, in which the ball bounced off him to Hemphill, who blasted the ball from outside the box and into the back of the net – no chance goalkeeper Lucas Menz could save it – and it was 3-0, and Hemphill's fifth of the season, which he celebrated in a sensational manner!



    By re-enacting Michael Jackson's moon walk.

    It was then when we first heard of Luton taking a seemingly 1-1 draw to a 2-1 win over Newport! It was an earlier kick-off and with an hour played it looked certain they could spoil the away teams chance to bridge any advantage if Ebbsfleet could have marked an incredible comeback! But it wasn't to be as Zbimg sealed his hat-trick into stoppage time and scored his 25th of the season!



    At half-time it had been confirmed that Newport had lost to Luton, the lads were wearing smiles larger than an average American's waist line! It was simple for the second half – don't fuck up!

    Which they were able to do perfectly! As the Ebbsfleet motivation seized onto display, we were able to frustrate and annoy the opposition, only allowing Liam Bellamy's cross to be met with the head of Enver-Marum on the 70th minute to count – but nothing more than a consolation for their efforts – and we rode out the result, and sealed a now four point advantage over Newport.



    It seemed like the fate had opened up towards us, the foundation was set for us to try and claw the advantage over Newport that we once had earlier in the season! And with the opportunity to once again redo another draw we had in the earlier fixture against Macclesfield, which was a 2-2 away, I was forced to having only one change as Hoolihan had a one game suspension due to collecting five yellow cards, meaning the recently healed Liam being slotted into the centre back position partnering BobMem.



    Saturday 9th March 2013
    English Conference
    Newark v. Macclesfield

    2-0
    (Zbimg '42, O'Toibin '44)
    MoM – D. O'Toibin

    Working from the previous result, we were able to carry on the form we had started to gather. With over 14 shots on goal, and only 4 off – it seemed to be our day! Though some good goalkeeping from Macclesfield's Lance Cronin delaying the inevitable constantly denying the attacking prowess on display, and the pure determination of the Man of the Match O'Toibin – we had to wait till the end of the first half till it counted with a corner won thanks to O'Toibin nicely struck volley which was saved. Hemphill worked the ball to his target, the man of the moment Lorenzo Zbimg who then headed it into the back of the net on 42 minutes! Making it 11 goals in the last month and a few weeks!

    But we weren't finished there! Ediz held onto the ball, gifted to a nice dribble and pass from Hernandez, who waited for the perfect waited pass into the box as O'Toibin found the room to slot the ball and bag the win! 2-0 and sealed and deal!

    The second half was the same. Contain and counter, which we did superbly, only being denied any more goals thanks to the heroics of Cronin. With the final whistle, the result only tasted more sweeter when it was confirmed ten men Newport had lost to mid-tabled Barrow! Defender Ishmael Yakubu had brought down McConville in the penalty area with a two-footed challenge, which captain Skelton scored the succeeding penalty to win the game!

    To celebrate, Yermolai allowed the team and the coaching staff to a nice meal at Zizi's, to which I was able to re-enter if I promised not to shag anyone on the table. The lads all ordered round the large table and starting to talk about the possibility of a double! The only noticeable absence being Kowalinho, who seemed to have other plans.



    Chugging down the champagne faster then a visitor using the rest room at Oscar Pistorius's house, the atmosphere seemed to be that we had already won the league! But, one player seemed determined to make sure that the lads not to become too complacent.

    Hemphill: C'mon guys! We haven't won anything yet!

    The lads booed and hissed jokingly to the captains suggestion, with some even throwing the bread at him that had been untouched on the table.

    Hemphill: Alright, alright! To the eventual champions!
    All: Yeah!

    They all shouted aloud! I laughed as I watched the young team before me enjoying themselves, onto to be confused by a sudden figure at the back of the room.



    What the hell was that about? A clown starring at me, with a large grin. I then started to think about all the recent clues occurring – the animal balloon, the disappearing clown shoes – something seemed strange. But before I could try and connect the dots together, I was suddenly brought out of my trance by my assistant manager.



    Riley: Hey Niko, stop clowning around!

    I was brought back to the moment.

    Niko: What?
    Riley: I said, stop daydreaming! It's rude to fing ignore us!

    He said, to which I ignored him, and continued drinking the rest of my Carling. To which, I thought I would distract myself with a nice cigarette outside. But as I got up bumped into the amazing Matthew Corbett impersonator, who was also getting up, and fell backwards into the waiter who was the piping hot soup which fell onto his face and burnt him to death!

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! The waiter killed AMC!
    Everyone in the Restaurant: That b!

    As his body laid out on the floor, a yellow puppet rolled out from his jacket by my feet, which seemed to stare up at me.



    Scared by the blank stare from the children's puppet, I kicked it towards the path of Zbimg who had only one glass of champagne and was steaming, who instinctively bicycle kicked the puppet over to Shepard, who pushed it away with his reflexes, in which both crashed onto the table breaking it in half, as the yellow puppet was curled over towards another table by Hemphill who was pissed out of his mind, which went straight into the right hand side of the room and landed into someone's soup. The owner of the ruined soup then jumped back in horror, bouncing back into the person sat behind on another table who sprung forward and sent the fork, which was sitting onside of his empty plate, flying into the air into the direction of A Messiah of Chickens, who was there to protest against the people eating chicken, and lodged into his right eye, piercing his cornea and lodging his brain, causing his to bleed out, and eventually to fall down dead on the floor in a pile of blood.

    Niko:
    Oh My Gawd! Sooty killed AMC!
    Manager: That mess, b!

    But it wasn't over yet!

    As a waiter carrying five plates walked out of the kitchen, which was just behind the corpse, slipped over on the pile of blood, with the plates smashing – with large shards piercing a major number of customers!

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! AMC's blood killed.... AMC!
    Manager: Another Lawsuit, b!

    The manager screamed as he charged over to the massacre scene, to which I decided to get the players to leave the theatre of Death, in case they could be involved in this orgy of circumstantial death!

    With the celebrating over, we looked set for the next game which would be against Gateshead, and once again another opportunity for redemption after the 0-1 upset which they caused to us earlier this season at home – only one of the two defeats we have had at the Boltsky Stadium. Brimming from the last result, I decided it was best to use the same selection and let the destruction happen once more!



    Tuesday 12th March 2013
    English Conference
    Gateshead v. Newark

    0-3
    (Zbimg '13 '25, Wato '90)
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    Once again it was Zbimg who took the headlines as he scored another impressive brace on a day in which we obliterated the home side, like the atomic bomb on Hiroshima, only allowing them to have 1 shot on goal which was easily dealt with, as it went wide of the goal. It was the same old for the attack, as Baz charged down on the wing and crossed the ball into the far post – connecting onto the head of Zbimg for his first of the evening, 13 minutes into the game.

    For the next twelve minutes, nothing really happened, until a beautiful counter from Clayton, who picked up the ball from the half-way line, and charged up-field for a lovely lobbed passed for Zbimg to volley his second of the game! 25 minutes, and it seemed it could have been goal galore! If, the other players had decided to put on their shooting boots properly!

    Comfortable save after comfortable save occurred into the latter half of the first half and the whole of the second, not being able to threaten the goalkeeper as much as we should have – but we had the majority of possession, not allowing the home side to try and inch their way back into the game. They were fighting possible relegation, and it could be told! But finally, as tiredness seemed to bossom onto the Gateshead's players, Zbimg turned to the assistant as he collected the loose ball from a Hemphill tackle and slotted the ball central towards the on-rushing Wato, who took it with ease and made the deficit even worse with a powerful strike into the back of the net, seconds before the final whistle blew!
    And again, news came in of Cambridge winning against Newport! The downfall which I hope they would happen, had become reality! 3 matches and not a single point for the team that was searching to try and break the points advantage that seemed to grow further with each passing fixture.

    With this news, it gave us more motivation as we fought onto the next game – against Wrexham. Wrexham was the fixture in which Lorenzo first started to make a namer for himself, by scoring five goals in the whole match! And with the way he had been playing recently, it seemed that he might be able to add even more to that collection! The team was the same, with the exception of Hoolihan being added to the bench after returning from suspension. The Eejit seemed to be out for the rest of the month, so I started to think about using the 442 at some point that I had been playing earlier in the season, but I then thought: why break a winning formula?



    Saturday 16th March 2013
    English Conference
    Wrexham v. Newark

    0-3
    (Zbimg '56 '83, Liam '71)
    Baz sent off '88
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    Another game, another brace for the star man who had now scored 8 goals in just this month! Even though it took the second half to break the realm of Mayebi's reflexes, it was Shepard who was the starman in the first half. Consistently he save each chance that came our way, and launched for the counter which never really made the mark it should. But as news came in that Newport had finally broke the curse on them, the lads seemed more determined for the second half!

    Ediz found Zbimg in space on the 56th Minute, which he did what he normally did, and slotted it into the back of the net. And, then it was Liam's turn to be helped by Ediz who headed down Hemphill's ball and allowed the defender to score his first goal for the club. And twelve minutes later, O'Toibin did a nice low cross into the box for Zbimg to score his 30th of the season and sealing the accolade of the best striker in the league! The celebrations however was somewhat soured by Baz becoming a boxer and left hooking Brett Omerod in the chin just five minutes later – getting himself a three match ban in return!



    The news got worse as Liam sustained a bruised shin three days before the next game, ruling him out for the last two games of the month. As well as the news that The Eejit's return had been delayed with a 'groin strain', which even though he insisted he got from training, most thought it would have been his 'late night' visits with the woman he had been seen leaving the party with the other night.

    With all this, it meant that for Lincoln I had to rethink the idea of using the same team as I did with Wrexham, with Hoolihan starting at centre back once more. And, just because I felt bad for him not having as much game time as before – I recalled in Kowalinho as Ediz was dropped to the bench.



    Saturday 23rd March 2013
    English Conference
    Lincoln v. Newark

    0-4
    (Zbimg '13 '32, Hemphill '49, Wato '90)
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    How good is it to win over one of your local rivals? It's a beautiful feeling! How does it feel to thrash them? Superb! To thrash them on their own ground? Like a piece of Heaven! And within six minutes, you could tell it was a derby! As Lincoln's Graham Hutchinson was injured within the brawl! And the match was ALL us, with Lincoln have only two shots on goal! Hemphill retained his amazing assist powers for the game, as it was his amazing curling cross that planked on the head of Zbimg to get yet another goal with only thirteen minutes played! And after that, we went for another one with O'Toibin being denied by a superb save, and then another Hemphill-Zbimg connection this time just wide with 25 minutes played.

    It seemed everyone in the team wanted to score – Wato, O'Toibin, Kowalinho, Baz, and Hemphill all seemed to want a go at scoring, but it would be Zbimg once again to score the next goal, thanks once again by Hemphill's astonishing crossing ability, which seemed to be a carbon copy of the goal scored less than twenty minutes earlier!

    Lincon had no chance to try to avoid the slaughter, as Zbimg turned assistant for Hemphill's goal, trying to do a rabona but failing, looking like he had slipped on a banana peel, but kept his composure to do a nice cross in goal which Hemphill's cool first touch slipped by Draper for the third goal in the second half – with only four minutes played – and in which he celebrated once again cooly.



    But afterwards, Draper seemed to have taken steroids as he flew into every save like Superman on speed, it was anxious to watch, despite knowing that Newport was heading for another loss, and that we would be even more ahead in terms of points – I just wanted another showcase of the power we had! And we did, thanks to another late goal by Wato, who latched onto O'Toibin's through ball for his 10th of the season. The atmosphere felt like someone had died, and we thrived from it to the bitter end with smiles and galore. To the home fans it seemed someone like Simon Cowell had died, whereas to us it seemed like someone such as Simon Cowell had died!

    The team has nearly done!

    Two months undefeated was so close to be sealed! But with Luton being the last home game of the month, and Luton beating Newport recently and the dramatic 3-3 draw earlier in the season, it was hard to not think of an upset. And with Baz suspension now being on, it meant that Henderson would have to play left back with no other options viable with Liam still being out. For this reason, I decided to call upon Sulonen onto the bench so that if Hoolihan or BobMem took any knocks, Clayton could drop back into defence and we could play a 442, though I hoped that wouldn't be the case. Kowalinho retained his position after impressing me a little with his determination, so now he had his chance to make his mark once more.



    Saturday 30th March 2013
    English Conference
    Newark v. Luton

    2-2
    (Wato '40, Kowalinho '45)(Fleetwood '11, Rendell '59)
    MoM – Kowalinho

    And it was the stubborn mules that be more happier with the result, though I was just pleased that we didn't concede any more goals! The first half was torn down the middle, with Luton starting off very fluid and determined, with both Rendell and Fleetwood determined to single handedly be a nuisance to the defence as Rendell held onto the ball on the left wing, awaiting for Fleetwood to charge into the box before dribbling past the right-back and crossing a perfect ball to the feet of Fleetwood who simply coined a brilliantly worked team move. But it was our attack that seemed most off, as Hemphill, who played so well in the last game, looked out of mind throughout the whole game! His set pieces lacked the killer aspect, his attacks had no creativity – we were basically playing with a back-tracking winger who was more of a second right back then winger!

    But thankfully my two central midfeilders were having a great game! As BobMem passed the ball forward to Clayton who lobbed it to Wato who slotted into the back of the net with five minutes left, but Clayton wasn't finished there, the defensive play-maker then did a wonderful one-two with Henderson and Wato, in which resulted with Kowalinho giving us the much needed lead into the end of the first half!

    With both Clayton and Wato playing a superb game, with one having an assist and being a defensive stronghold and the other having an assist and a goal as well as being a constant attacking threat, I felt that I didn't need to make any changes – but I was so wrong!

    The second half, the lads were disillusioned, Lincoln had more of the possession and consistently found wholes within our positions! They kept knocking on the door more and more, so much that it reminded me of a stalker finding my address again – freaky! In the end, the moment finally happened Rendell went from the assistant to the goalscorer, dribbling past the remaining defenders from a counter off a failed attack, using pace to speed on through and around Shepard to equalise the score. I failed to hope for another goal with the team's fitness and told them to hold it out, which they were able to do – and come full time, it was the man who kept attacking that got the Man of the Match award – Kowalinho. Gaining some plaudits, I then started to rethink about my approach towards the games up-coming to the Semi-finals of the FA Trophy – maybe a rotation up-front could help fitness? And maybe other areas too? But, with Eejit out for most of the next month, it might mean either dropping a player into the DMC role or changing tactics for a few games – it was something I needed to think over – long and hard.

    After the game, I retired back home, smiling on the drive back as I heard that Newport also drew against Woking on the radio. It seemed that we didn't lose any advantage and that rotation could be a more viable option. At home, the atmosphere had begun to get more hostile as Babe and I argued about my level of input on the Wedding, and the amount of time I put into my job. She would normally spend the night downstairs, or huff out into the long back garden for an extended amount of time. But as I arrived, she wasn't in the house despite her faggy Fiat still being parked on the driveway, I shook of the thought of her spending time with Shepard as Shepard seemed to be as interesting as a Canadian movie and he is most likely some kind of alien who doesn't understand the ways of us 'Earthlings' – so it was just me, my laptop and a couple of links to Women Behaving Badly!

    But as I started to get 'interested' into my 'programme', a knock came from my door. I looked at the time – 2:45 am. Babe wasn't back yet, I thought she might have had the night off uptown with her friends to release some steam, so it could have been her forgetting her keys.

    Niko: You forgot your keys? You daft fuck!

    I shouted jokingly, pulling up my trousers and walking towards the door, only to see a strange drunken person at the door.



    Drunked: Excuse me! Is this where the party is?
    Niko: What? No!
    Drunked: Oh! I was told by this Japanese sumo that this is where the Japanese game show after party was.
    Niko: Well, it isn't!
    Drunked: Oh, okay. Ummm... Can you call me a taxi so I can arrange for the Devil Worshipping Monkey Violin Player's Twister of Sushi after party is?
    Niko: Okay, but stay right there. I don't want any of.... you, in my house!

    He nodded back, stumbling to stay still despite leaning against the door frame. I called the taxi number and arranged for one to come and pick him up, but when I came back to see him he was gone. Stepping outside to see if he had tried to break in, or threw up on my fucking property, I was stopped with an image.



    Clown: Surprise! Motherfucker!

    He said with a horrid grin, to which my shook my head in disapproval before being knocked out. Looked like it was that... time.... again....

    For... Fuck...sake....

    Code:
    ************************************************************************************************ English Conference - Saturday 30th March 2013 ************************************************************************************************ ================================================================================================ 2012/13 Table ================================================================================================ Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Newark 37 14 3 2 40 13 10 7 1 41 17 82 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Newport 37 10 6 2 28 15 11 0 8 31 20 69 3rd Hereford 37 9 7 2 39 24 9 2 8 33 30 63 4th Grimsby 37 13 5 1 39 19 3 9 6 23 26 62 5th Luton 37 8 4 6 21 20 9 6 4 39 27 61 6th Woking 37 11 5 2 37 22 4 8 7 29 39 58 7th Barrow 37 9 6 3 26 17 7 3 9 23 29 57 8th Telford Utd 37 10 3 5 36 27 6 4 9 20 25 55 9th Mansfield 37 9 7 3 27 17 6 3 9 19 25 55 10th Forest Green 37 9 4 5 30 27 6 6 7 24 26 55 11th Cambridge Utd 37 10 1 7 29 27 5 8 6 18 18 54 12th Stockport 37 9 3 7 29 23 5 7 6 24 25 52 13th Kidderminster 37 8 3 8 35 38 7 4 7 32 35 52 14th Wrexham 37 9 6 4 28 22 4 3 11 29 45 48 15th Macclesfield 37 9 6 4 43 28 3 5 10 26 40 47 16th Ebbsfleet Utd 37 10 7 2 29 18 2 3 13 17 35 46 17th Southport 37 5 3 10 22 24 6 4 9 28 31 40 18th Gateshead 37 5 3 11 21 33 5 5 8 23 26 38 19th Braintree 37 4 3 11 27 43 5 5 9 29 34 35 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20th Alfreton 37 6 4 9 26 34 2 5 11 15 31 33 21st Lincoln 37 6 4 10 24 34 2 3 12 17 35 31 22nd Hyde 37 3 8 6 31 36 3 1 16 21 48 27

  3. #228

    Join Date
    31-10-11
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    Rumour has it that a cult called 'VIPs' stormed the pitch after the match against Ebbsfleet... One man was heard screaming, "I told you that we should have voted for a 3-5-2!".

  4. #229

    Join Date
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    Location
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    The next chapter is the final within this 'Journey', and it is going to be INTENSE! Football and storylines mix, with the End of the Season review. It is going to be split into four 'continuations' to help balance them out, but the most dramatic is the football itself. Transfers coming in and could there be some going? What will happen with Niko?

    All i say is: Tying up Loose Ends.

    I think i can't put that as the better title of the chapter. And i am soooo happy i was able to save this story from the ashes of that one big fuck up that happened a couple of months ago, to get this far with my enthusiasm for a story being higher then before. Already trying to think up more 'WTF?' storylines for next season

    Hopefully one will be up either today, tomorrow or Monday.

    Hope you guys will enjoy it as much as i enjoy writing it,

    Stay tuned and please comment, i really do appreciate it

  5. #230

    Join Date
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    I'm enjoying it a lot, real good mix of match action and storyline. Nice run of clean sheets when Liam came into the team. Shame about the injury :s

    Looking forward to the next update, KUTGW!

  6. #231

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    Can't wait for the Grand Final, I expect fireworks !!! And a Zbimg hat trick !

  7. #232
    ebfatz is offline Social Media Bod
    Former Holy Trinity Member
    Stories Mod

    Join Date
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    Storming your way to the title but we all know off the field nothing will be that simple.

  8. #233

    Join Date
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    The First Journey
    Chapter Nine:
    Tying Up Loose Ends


    Ah, Niko! What have you got yourself into know!

    A club fetish for clowns?

    You've be clowning around all year so that's what happened to you!


    Niko: Ah! Shut up Brain!

    It has seemed to be a reoccuring theme of my life, being too awesome so that some sick freak wants to kidnap me and have their way with me. It is so disappointing that it is never the Ke$ha squad, to bring me to her to try and satisfy her most freakiest desires!

    Niko: Tik-Tok! I wish me would 'Blow' me!

    But nope! You are some kind of a magnet to the sick underground fetish freaks – best stay away from Theodore from now! Hell! I haven't seen him in ages!

    Niko: So what do we have here?

    I said to myself looking around in the large space in which I was being kept in. It wasn't a jail cell, so it wasn't the Koreans – meaning that maybe after killing that stupid Ling-Ling, they finally got the message. It's more of a warehouse.

    Niko: Warehouse 13? Wouldn't mind banging that Allison bitch!

    Nah. Place looks more down market then that. Looking around I can see three entrances – two side ones and one large door – something like a grand entrance. I bet myself that is where the 'leader' will come out and proclaim who they are and what they want from me!

    Niko: Bet on that!

    And with that said, the doors burst open with the clown coming out first, as I tried to tugg off the rope that I was tied to a metal pole with. At least the freaking chair was comfortable for once!



    Clown: Hey, motherfucker! You've got a visitor!!! Show some respect!
    Niko: Who pissed in your cornflakes?

    Suddenly it hit!

    Niko: Have you a breakfast a clown?
    Clown: What?
    Niko: Have you a breakfast a clown?!
    Clown: Bitch please! Branflakes all the way!

    As he said that he turned on his heels and stared at the door, like a teenager on an Xbox screen, as the leader came out – someone I should have known would have been the bastard to kidnap me!



    Cowell: Ah, Mr Bergstrom! Hope you have tied yourself down to doing anything lately! I think you'll come to realise, you have quite a lot of loose ends to finish first – well, had!
    Niko: Funny, you write that yourself, Mr Prime Minister?
    Cowell: No, I had Russell Brand do that! Disnae has a lot of connections you know!
    Niko: Right! So what are you going to do? Try to kill me? Recruit me? Convert me? Lick my toes and call me Louis? Or, are you going to realise that somehow and someway I am going to escape and kill you?

    He laughed in an evil manner – yeah he did work for Disnae, the 'bad guy' vibe was pushing over-dramatic.

    Cowell: That isn't really up to me, you see there is someone who you've not met, and he hates you more than me. Not as handsome as me, but a more dedicated person to the cause.
    Niko: So he's the one whose bullet's on the name of?
    Cowell: Unlikely! He has worked his way up to where he is today, by dealing like shit like you for breakfast!
    Clown: What's with you guys and fucking breakfast!
    Niko: Okay, so what do you want?
    Cowell: To say goodbye before you can't!

    He then laughed once more menacingly, before turning round and walking out. In which, he was followed by the clown who seemed quite chuffed with himself. As they escaped I waited for five seconds before.

    Niko:
    So are you going to stand there, or are you going to let me out of this?

    I said, to the figure that was camoflagued into the dark corner, who then walked forward.



    Shepard: You know, I do like to see you in a situation where you are not in control. Maybe I will leave you here for a bit longer?
    Niko: C'mon Shepard, you came here for a reason and that is to save me, so hurry up!

    He smirked in reply, before pressing a button in his hand which made the rope fall from my wrists.

    Niko: What the hell was that!
    Shepard: This wasn't rope. This was some technological material which is at the same density of rope, but really is stronger and harder. The only way to break it is to disarray the firewall protocol to the signal that is stored within it's-
    Niko: Alright, alright – I get it! It's some complicated crap, now let's kill that fucking prick Cowell and get out of here.
    Shepard: Why not kill the system from the inside?
    Niko: What kill the 'leader' bloke?
    Shepard: No. This whole organisation works on the basis of the hydra.
    Niko: Kill one of the heads, and two grows back?
    Shepard: Exactly!

    We then started to walk to the right normal door, for whatever reason, before I was ushered to go through the other one to find some kind of super-computer. As I went through the door, I was in a corridor full of splinter rooms.

    Niko: Fuck!

    First door:



    Sumo: You die!

    Said the fat man wearing a nappy who went charging at me, but half-way towards grabbing he clutched his heart and fall onto the floor dead.

    Niko: Should have stayed off the fatty foods, fatty!

    I said going into the second room:



    Bitch: I am in the sound of music!

    I quickly closed the door and decided just to go to the door on the other side of the room, named 'Super Computer Room – Super Secret! PS. Tell No-One'.

    Niko: Retards!

    I mumbled as I opened the door there it was in the middle of the room.



    And there on the wall was what I needed:



    Which I picked up and throw all over the computer which exploded me right out of the room, as I heard a large buzz once more I gathered myself up and charged down the hallway and escape through the door I once came in and throw myself onto the floor and covering my arms as a long surge of flames came bursting out. Feeling the heat, I spun round and grabbed a cigarette, using the large flame to lit it just before it rescinded back into the hallway which was now just a gulf of flames. And I got up, I dusted off the ash and walked into the middle of the room to meet up with an impressed Shepard.



    Shepard: Wow Niko. I'm impressed, acting cool by lighting your cancer stick with the ball of the fire above you.
    Niko: Nothing to it!

    I said, blowing the smoke straight into the assholes face. We then both turned to the large door centred right in front of us.

    Shepard: Might want this.

    He said passing me a semi-automatic, to which I pushed away.

    Niko: Guns don't kill people bitch! NIKO DOES!

    I looked around the large warehouse, trying to examine the exploit zones, and once I had one in mind, I knew exactly what to do. I picked up a rather large rock in my right hand and placed it into my pocket and stepped a few more feet to left.

    Niko: You better be ready, because I am ready for A Massacre of EpiCness!

    As the doors flung open with Cowell and the Clown, I awaited for the perfect chance.



    Cowell: You bastard! You have killed all the communications to the whole system! All our data is gone!
    Niko: Ha!
    Cowell: You think you can mess with.... THIS!

    He shouted, starting to rub his nipples with a face of ecstasy. The perfect chance! I grabbed the large rock, and aimed for the over-arch just above the main door which had been significantly damaged due to the force of power in which it had to be taken from the doors bashing against the supports. In which there was large crack, which wasn't really safe to be standing directly, if say a powerful and fast object hit directly onto that crack to loose the rest of the strength that the support had on that building. I pulled back my right arm as far as I could, and surged all my strength into that one throw at the crack in which the rock collided into, and in a matter of mere seconds the crack grew and large over-arch and the supports went tumbling down ontop of Cowell and his Isane Clown Posse!

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! I did the AMC!
    Shepard: Lucky b!

    Shepard said in shock and awe, guess he doesn't really know my skills as much as he first thought. We both then nodded to each other and walked over to the large debris.



    Shepard: Got a smart ass plan how to get out of here then?
    Niko: Yep!

    I said with the rope that I was tied to into my hands, I lynched the rope onto the wall next to the debris to the remains of the blown door frame, and then told Shepard to allow the firewall to be on. The rope then started to over-power due to the large stretch and exploded, allowing a simple passageway to go outside.

    Shepard: Wow Niko, I really do owe you one!
    Niko: Nah, should the other way around man. Look, you solved those Canadian Hunters and the Koreans for me!
    Shepard: That was my job though! This is something... personally.
    Niko: And you have made sure that Babe isn't over-stressing with the whole wedding thing.
    Shepard: Yeah well... Neighbourly friendship.

    He said back as we finally made it outside.

    Niko: Now, where the fuck are we?
    Shepard: Around Mansfield.
    Niko: Really?
    Shepard: Nah, in Nottingham. The leader has already left. Congratulations Niko you have successfully defeated both Phetrovology and Disnae, though there are somethings you should really know about Phetrovology.
    Niko: Forget it – it's in the past. Now take me back to Newark!

    I said jumping into the smeggy Smart car that Shepard came here in. We arrived in Newark just an hour later, and already I was buzzing. Now that the whole Disnae thing was finally over with, I could concentrate on the next game, which if we won and Newport lost or draw meant we would win the league!

    Due to the importance of the game, and despite we won the last time we met, I decided to play the same team that had played against Luton, hoping that the team would be able to bounce back from the up-set and get the win!



    Saturday 6th April 2013
    English Conference
    Telford v. Newark

    1-3
    (Byfield '3)(Zbimg '16, Hemphill '30, Kowalinho '56)
    MoM – Kowalinho

    We had done it!

    We had won the League as Newport drew 2-2, and it would be the want-away striker Kowalinho who would be taking the accolade of sealing the title with an amazing performance! At the first start it seemed like it would be a hard battle between the two teams, which it was, but thankfully our players were more clinical with the chances given to us. Despite the early disadvantage with Sharp squaring up Byfield, who had ripped past Clayton like a piece of paper in a battle of scissors, to which he slotted into the back of the net with three minutes played, we showed composure and 12 minutes afterwards Kowalinho crossed an orgasmic ball from the half-way line to Zbimg, whose first touch was as such and skinned past last defender Salmon to be one-on-one with the keeper, to which the outcome was predictable – 1-1 with sixteen minutes played!

    Hemphill was a constant source of creative flair on the right wing with a nice one-two with Kowalinho, with the finishing outcome agonisingly over the bar. But it was down to a free-kick which was earned by Lorenzo's determination that got Hemphill his gaol, a 20 yard howler which sealed the one goal advantage into the next half.

    A rather subdued performance from the lads, as Telford came closer and closer to an equaliser, only for the ball to never reach the target, to which we took full advantage of with Hernandez crossing the ball over from the right to the left to find the free O'Toibin, who headed it on for the ferocious right foot of Kowalinho to get his tenth of the season! For the rest of the game, we relied on our chances from Hemphill's free kicks which laid out a chance for Liam but was caught by Telford's keeper who threw it out for a counter, which Shepard was able to easily save. And by the last moments, it was Shepard who was the man of the moment, constantly saving and giving out corners which resulted in nothing only for the whistle to blow and the crowd to cheer in full fury!



    Both set of fans clapped each side of players, as I collapsed onto the floor, drained from all the stress being relieved from my body. Finally I had done it! My name as a league winning champion had continued, I had now won four titles in three countries – despite what Fifa would want the public not to know!
    The lads did a lap of honour around the stadium, were they were congratulated by the nice Telford fans. They knew that it was a solid game of attractive football, and I knew they would one day feel the same release if they kept up this kind of play and invested in some more higher levelled players.



    When we arrived back home to Newark, the team was besieged with cheering fans who wanted autographs, knowing that some of the lads might not be here next season. Knowing that the players like Kowalinho and BobMem who looked set to push a move to a bigger club would have a bright future, and be pleased with the thought that they started out with the newest club in the English league structure. And when I got off the bus, they started chanting my name!



    Despite myself telling them it was down to Lorenzo, Henderson, Clayton, BobMem, Wato, Baz, Eejit, Shepard, Hemphill, O'Toibin, Kowalinho, Liam, Hernandez, Ediz, Vasily, Wood, Van der Voom, Hoolihan that we won this title – they still chanted. After an emotional few days, I arrived home to the sound of silence. Babe wasn't there. Her car gone, leaving only a note saying 'Congrats!' and 'Gone to Arrange Final Venue Issues.' It came to me once more, I could be a married man – and the first time the thought brought happiness to me – maybe I have changed now the chaos has left my life?

    For the next match, it was nothing but a stop guard for the first leg of the FA Trophy Semi-Final showdown with Newport, to which I decided to put out a weaker side to give players a chance to have a runout before the end of the season. For this Van der Voom and Ediz played up-front, Zannit was played on the right wing, Vasily in the middle, and Wood played in goal. Liam, BobMem, Henderson and Hernandez made the back four with the addition of Sulonen being on the bench, whom I planned on putting on at half-time to replace Clayton – no matter the result. Alfreton was team we beat earlier in the season, and I was confident we could comfortably win despite the lack of first choice attackers being played.



    Monday 8th April 2013
    English Conference
    Newark v. Alfreton

    2-1
    (Van der Voom '9 '20)(P. Clayton '31)
    MoM – H. Van der Voom

    It was the Van der Voom show, who made it clear that if some of the strikers would leave in the summer then he would be able to step up to the plate in order to replace those who would leave – which I think would be a huge possibility given Kowalinho's ambition to leave and Zbimg scoring like a mad man! The first goal came from a nice free-kick taken from Hernandez, taking over the duty from the rested Hemphill, which was beautifully struck into the box with the jumping Dutchman powering in the ball into the back of the net to get his 10th of the season – despite being more of a super sub throughout the season.

    11 minutes later Van der Voom then added another to his catalogue after collecting the ball from O'Toibin and volleying the ball into the back of the net to seal the lead in our favour. For the remainder of the half it was more quiet, with the lads shutting up shop and resolving to keep a clean sheet rather then search for another – but it didn't seem that as Paul Clayton was able to pounce of a rebound from Wood's save 31 minutes played to give the away team a glimmer hope, but it seemed unlikely!

    For the second half, Sulonen played in place of Max Clayton, and the team played a more 4-4-2 tactical approach in order to give ourselves more options in the midfeild half – it worked as it helped make more attacks – but the finishing wasn't the usual calibre that the home fans were used to with Zbimg within the team, and had to make do with the 2-1 result.

    Over the course of the next few days leading up to the first showdown, I isolated myself in order to be able to fully concentrate at the challenge on hand. The first matter was the first team, and with Baz coming back from suspension it meant that he could slot back into the left back position, with Henderson dropping onto the three man bench after a string of some average performances but still impressive as it wasn't it best position. For the rest, it seemed to be the same with Wato, Hemphill, Zbimg and Kowalinho bring brought in from the rest I had given them – with Clayton and O'Toibin retaining their positions. On the bench Wood and Van der Voom would make the rest of the choices viable, as Shepard retained his position as the first-choice keeper.



    The atmosphere at the stadium was strong, you could tell this was a match which both sides wanted to win badly, and it made the pressure even greater. The fans surged into the stands faster then a Bugatti, the foundation was set for a thriller and high end tension game – which I hoped desperately it for it to be, afterall, this was OUR chance to show the weird how important our goal of Premier League football was going to be!



    Saturday 13th April 2013
    FA Trophy Semi-Final Leg 1
    Newark v. Newport


    Spoiler!


    With the end of the first Trophy cup game finished, I collapsed onto the sofa with a huge grin. Finally I was able to put to bed the doubt that lingered in my mind of the possible out showmanship which we could have had with a tough opponent such as Newport. But of course, the job wasn't completely done yet, there was still some way to go for this journey – and I was feeling strong, that nothing would get in the way.

    Meanwhile, somewhere dark and mysterious.....

    Leader: Big God! He you jolly good fellows completed it yet? My tea has gone cold waiting, and don't get me started on my crumpets!
    Servant: Sir, it has indeed been completed!
    Leader: Jolly good work, Herald. Jolly good work! Now, bring him out so I can converse with him.
    Servant: Are you sure, sir? I mean, he hasn't been fully restored mentally yet. He has no recognition of what happened to-
    Leader: By God! I didn't spend all the taxpayers money on nothing, Herald! Now do as I said!

    He nodded back to the man with a dark brown cloth around his head. And soon, he was arisen.



    Leader:
    Arise my jolly good friend, arise! Now tell me, what do you remember?
    Costume Guy: I killed them as ordered, master.
    Leader: Jolly good! Do you remember your mission?
    Costume Guy: Eliminate those who rebel us.
    Leader: Utterly delightful!
    Costume Guy: What happened to Gregory?
    Leader: I am afraid he was killed by them silly-wags!
    Costume Guys: NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    He said chocking one of the servants with his telepathic powers.

    Leader: Don't hurt him no more Achibald!

    He released the servant, and looked down.

    Costume Guy: I am no longer Archibald, kind sir. He died.
    Leader: Utterly Jolly Orgasmic!! Muhahahahahahahaha!
    Costume Guy: And I shall avenge the death of my former comrade. And embrace the sexual side! O' Canada, you shall feel the wrath of....

    DAFT ARCHIE!


    To Be Continued.

  9. #234

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    *Is happy after winning the title
    *Can't wait for next season

  10. #235

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    Promotion!

  11. #236

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    *Thinks he needs to kop on to himself and not look to move to a bigger club. Newark are clearly going places!
    *Likes a sing-song

  12. #237

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    The First Journey
    Chapter Nine:
    Tying Up Loose Ends
    Continued!


    With the first game done with, it was time to celebrate my 26th birthday, as well as the captain Hemphill's 19th, too which the lads wanted to have a large drinking session to celebrate, but with the next game being the 17th of April, I made sure they promised to delay it till the end of the season – but Hemphill seemed to think he above the rest of the lads, to which I saw him come out of the local nightclub Atrium, with a chick on his arm.

    Niko: Oi!

    I shouted, to which he shrugged off and continued walking away towards Asda.

    Niko: What a prick!
    Babe: Don't worry about him. Tell him off during the hours, now...

    Said my fiancιe, who made me come out and celebrate my birthday despite my negative reactions to her nagging, but after moaning about her not seeing me for a long time, and blah, I felt somewhat inclined to agree.



    The venue was the small Italian restaurant near the castle, and when we entered nearly instantly the staff members seemed to know my face and went as wild as the English public went crazy about Pipe Middleton farting.



    Waiter: Are you tee manager of futbale Club?
    Niko: Yeah.
    Waiter: Zee, Giovanni! I told you it was!
    Waiter 2: Sacre Bleu!
    Niko: WAIT! Your Italian, and he's French? In an Italian resturant?
    Waiter: Wee! There is alut of different national people here. Like him, Rafael, he is Spanish!

    He said, pointing to a once familiar face.



    Niko: Good I don't have him as a waiter, he would probably eat half of the course of my order!
    Waiter: Wee! That has been a problem latelee!

    After getting our orders, eating our food and chatting over lunch drinking down bottles and bottles of red wine, the seductive stare which she normally gets before the taming of the cave, shined across her face like a red light in an Amsterdam street.

    Niko:
    Cheque! Now!

    I screamed over to the waiter, as Babe got busy on the empty bottle that we last had.

    Waiter: What? Your leaving already?
    Waiter 2: Sacre bleu!

    Screamed the French waiter as he saw Babe choking on the bottle in her mouth.

    Niko: Yes NOW!!

    I screamed as the Frenchman started to slowly creep over to Babe. Finally after a 'quick discussion' with the waiter, in which his nose magically got broken, we were off – with the Italian bastard getting only an middle finger for a tip!

    We went straight home and fireworks soon went off!



    But soon it was time to get back into the manager mindset, as the game against Forest Green came up. For this I decided to make a large number of changes so that my first eleven will be more ready for the game against Newport, but still not taking Forest Green like an adolescent bitch with daddy issues, I left the defensive somewhat the same with Hernandez on the left, Hoolihan in the middle with Liam, with BobMem rested as Henderson played at right-back. Wato was the rushing forward, as Sulonen played in the DMC role and Zannit given a chance to redeem himself on the right wing, as the hungover Hemphill was dropped. O'Toibin was the man on the left, as Ediz and Van der Voom played up-front, with Wood also being given another chance after his only appearances being the 4-4 draw on the opening day of the season and the Alfreton game.



    Wednesday 17th April 2013
    English Conference
    Forest Green v. Newark

    1-3
    (Norwood '57)(Zannit '45, O'Toibin '62, Van der Voom '75)
    MoM – D. O'Toibin

    The first half seemed to suck more then Paris Hilton on a Saturday night, as chance went begging again and again, and us being able to be kept in the game with some ambitious saves from Wood in between the posts. Most of the attacks from the day came from the Irishman O'Toibin, who created chances not only for himself but the whole team, with one being a perfect lob towards Zannit who headed in his first of the season in the dying seconds of stoppage time, and a wonderfully created team goal.

    In the second half, Forest Green seemed to thrive on the wasted chances that we had in the first half, and came out guns blazing! Not being able to score till 12 minutes into the half when Sulonen's poor tackling allowed Magno Vieira to chip the ball over to Norwood whose astonishing volley went flying by the dumb-founded Wood to equalise the game. With this, they're confidence seemed to up their game with Styche coming close straight after the restart but watched in agony as his header went flying pass the crossbar.

    But thankfully the team hadn't given up hope! Van der Voom took over the duties on the left wing as he dribbled down towards the corner flag and crossing a low ball into the far post which was found by the free O'Toibin who simply hit it high into the roof of the net just after the hour mark – 1-2! And after watching Collins winning a corner thanks to a dismissive save from Wood, O'Toibin was then substituted for BobMem, who would slot into the centre-back position as Liam took over the duties at right-back and Henderson being free to play more up-field on the left wing. The change seemed to work when I told Zannit to go left and Henderson right on the 72nd minute, with Zannit and Henderson passing the ball across the field and around the home side's players until Henderson's cross found the foot of Van der Voom to seal the win!

    And with that, we extended our undefeated streak even further, to which I am hoping we could continue till the end of the season, and maybe even carrying on to next season as well!

    But as soon as the match was over, the next one seemed to flash right by! The game was the game which would decide how the ending of the season would seem like, the chance to capture two competitions, or to be the team who had gained so much but was killed off as they prepared to face their final foe!

    Newport would have to come back from the two goal deficit but did have the home advantage as we arrived at the Rodney Parade, the hostility towards the team was floating in the air, like awkwardness when your girlfriend catches you banging her Mom.



    As the lads parked round in the small away dressing room, they knew that the team selected was the best we could have had, with Eejit still out, it meant that the tired Clayton would have to be played for a game which I would have preferred the more direct tackling approach from the Scotsman. I made sure that the whole team had come for support, despite if they was or wasn't playing, this was an important game and we needed to show that we was a team – to be able to see this through to the happy or bitter end!



    Saturday 20th April 2013
    English FA Trophy Semi-final Leg 2 (0-2 agg.)
    Newport v. Newark


    Spoiler!


    But between the final was two games of the league still with one being against Cambridge at home, for which I decided to rest Wato and O'Toibin for Vasily and Henderson, both of whom dropped to the bench. As this was our last home game, I wanted to make a statement of intent! I had to also overlook the piss poor performance of Clayton, as Eejit wouldn't be back till the next game against Barrow.



    Saturday 27th April 2013
    English Conference
    Newark v. Cambridge

    2-0
    (Zbimg '22 '52)
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    The last game of the season, and it seemed sweet for the top goalscorer to take the limelight in the last game, with another outstanding performance to show his consistency which he has shown regularly. But it was once again another team effort as Hoolihan found the free Baz on the wing on the 22nd minute who crossed it perfectly over to Zbimg to bicycle kick it into the top corner for his 35th goal of the season!



    The second goal came from amidst missed chances that wasn't taken or finished – one of which set up Zbimg second goal in the game, and possibly his last at the Boltsky Stadium, as Hemphill's low driven show was saved by Parish, but rebounded onto the feet of Zbimg who simply slotted it into the back of the net.

    Simples!

    After the game, I dismissed the lads to go home and relax till the next game, not wanting them to over-tire. I also wanted to spend more time with Babe, which I could tell would be more and more difficult as time would get closer to the two most important dates of the year: The FA Trophy Final on 18th May 2013, and the Wedding on 22nd May 2013 – her birthday.

    But when I got there I was confused with the image of Shepard, who looked more younger then before.



    Niko: How is that possible?

    After abandoning my Smeggy Smart car, I followed the more younger into his bungalow, in which I was shocked to see....



    And the man himself had disappeared. The more and the more I started to think about it, the more confused I got. I just spent the rest of the time watching television, a recorded episode of 'Take Me Out!' with the annoying Paddy McGuinness as host.



    Paddy: Hello mindless zombies of the Empire of Britiain, welcome to 'TAKE ME OUT'!

    The annoying crowd chanted with the annoying host, making it an annoyance on my ears.

    Paddy: This is the game show where suicide becomes TV Ratings, as you the viewers get to see how our depressed contestants chooses the best form which they think will make their bitter-sweet ending into sweet viewing! But remember, No choice of living?
    Audience: Better stop breathing!
    Paddy: Yeah. Now let's meet our first contestant!

    From their they showed a video of a homeless man who is constantly being harassed and assaulted as he dwells into his self-assurance that he has no point of living, and that he has no respect from others. Basically an X-Factor sob-story. After watching the depressing video, it then came back to the annoying twat.

    Paddy: Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you another morbid cunt!

    They all cheered as he was pushed onto the stage with his head in a potato bag, the hairy miserable fuck looked like he hadn't seen a meal in a week.

    Paddy: So, AMC, we have a large choice of different ways of you to die-

    Not wanting to partake in listening to the dickish presenter I fast forwarded, as he began to try and kill himself with different methods – fork to the eye, drinking brake fluid, toaster in a shower, getting married to Katie Price (Jordan) – all choices seeming being failed until the final 'mysterious' choice was to be made.

    Paddy: Wow, this is a first!
    AMC: Great!

    He said sarcastically.

    Paddy: For the first time ever, you have survived all of the normal methods, so now we have to choose the 'mysterious' suicide method!

    The crowd went mental, like a bunch of brainwashed chimps watching Mrs Brown's Boys.

    Paddy: So let's bring it out!

    He then pointed to two stage hands who came on with a large wooden box, something that looked large. AMC then started to tare away at the wooden frame, until the thing came out.



    Paddy: Yes, you will listen to Rylan Clark sing! Now, everybody in the studio has gotten ear plugs in, and the song will be muted for the viewers at home, so here we go!

    As he said, there was no sound coming from the TV, just Rylan singing a shitty song with weird costumes and even wierder stage props which continued for five minutes intil finally, AMC dropped to the floor having a massive seizure to which his heart exploded and his one good eye burst.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! Rylan Clark killed AMC!
    Paddy: That entertaining b!

    With that I turned off the programme, and went to bed, with no sign of Babe coming back. I just thought, that maybe there was a hetic changes needed to be done for the Wedding, which she mentioned in a rant which I didn't really listen to, and would see her in the morning.

    Another day passed, another step closer to the end of the chapter of my first season as a manager in England.

    Meanwhile, somewhere dark and really ultra secretive.....



    Waiter: We have failed in our bid to secure the information to him, despite our skilful displays of espionage. We came closer, but one of the new guys scared him off.
    Voice: Bad. He needs to know what dangers are coming to him. We need him. They need him. He has already stopped him once.
    Waiter: But something seems different about him?
    Voice: I guess I might have to visit him myself.

    The voice then stepped forward into the light, and closer to the man still disguised as a waiter.



    Voice: Time for a personal visit. Been a while!!

    TO BE CONTINUED.

  13. #238

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    CHAMPIONI !!!!

    Am I still injured ? Haven't featured even on the bench for over a month now. Hope the physio is fit

    Simon Cowell

  14. #239

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    Quote Originally Posted by The Eejit View Post
    CHAMPIONI !!!!

    Am I still injured ? Haven't featured even on the bench for over a month now. Hope the physio is fit

    Simon Cowell
    Got two injuries off the bat, basically out till the last game of the league, and even then your fitness levels were shocking

  15. #240

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    Who's the man? Who scored for the final

  16. #241

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    Oh and BTW, if you guys haven't noticed it there has been hints throughout the whole season of the MAJOR storyline i have come for the next season (writing 1 major over-arching storyline per season, plus little random ones) if someone can decipher it then they win a cookie

  17. #242

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    Great work on the updates, and one step closer to the double!

    My player has some great stats in the semi-final: 6/9 tackles including 4 key, 5/5 headers inc. 2 key! Mega.

    Does the smeghead still want to move?

  18. #243

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    Quote Originally Posted by BobMem View Post
    Great work on the updates, and one step closer to the double!

    My player has some great stats in the semi-final: 6/9 tackles including 4 key, 5/5 headers inc. 2 key! Mega.

    Does the smeghead still want to move?
    Yep.

    Trying to keep him

  19. #244

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    *doesn't like his own stinking attitude
    *thinks the club is a stepping stone TO STAY AT THE CLUB!
    *thinks Hemphill is an inspired leader
    *Likes to brown-nose whenever possible

  20. #245

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    Quote Originally Posted by ZanSnake View Post
    Got two injuries off the bat, basically out till the last game of the league, and even then your fitness levels were shocking
    Who said this was a game and not real life ?

  21. #246

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    Yeah our players are too ambitious. We should take it one promotion at a time.
    Great work in the semi, Kowalinho saves the day !

  22. #247

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    Don't expect to play a part in the final so good luck to those who are playing - Get us the double

  23. #248

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    MASSIVE Update on it's way

    Last Continuation

    The next post will be 'awards' in which there will be Niko's assestment and screenshots of players, then Fans Player of the Year, and then you guys can choose yours and the maximum amount of votes to a singular player will win it. Will also be other Awards you guys will be able to vote for, because, why the hell not??

    Stay tuned

  24. #249

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    The First Journey
    Chapter Nine:
    Tying Up Loose Ends!
    Continued!


    After such a successive few months, I found it hard to believe that I hadn't heard anything from the man ordering the operations for success and anything I had to do, so it was a bit of a surprised when I arrived to the stadium to the lure of Yermolai wanting to actually speak to me.

    Descending to the usual threatening door, the noise of Russian rock music was thrown against my small and vulnerable ears, I knew that maybe he was in a good mood for once – but then again, it is Yermolai. The man who has had a history with hitman connections, and even rumours of him killing the real owner of Boltsky Industries. But as I awkwardly entering the room, the stench of vodka and cigars enter my nostril faster then an Ice Cream truck driving down the road when they hear a police siren. But what was even more off-putting was the imagery which I was forced to look at.



    Niko: Oh forsaken! My eyes do not deserve this torture!
    Yermolai: Nikolavski, my friend!

    He said, in a more optimistic and higher toned voice then normal. It seemed strange for such a word to come out of the naked Russian human-bowling ball, that was seated in front of me.

    Yermolai: Myself and Yasha are celebrating our winning of the league, and our future success of the FA Trophy!
    Niko: You really like to count the chickens before they're laid don't you? And why are you dressed that way?
    Yermolai: It is tradition in Russia, to wear this attire when you have had the sweet taste of victory! Hence tonight, myself, you – Nikolavski, and Yasha will drink the Vodka away, till the night opens and we have more Vodka! But after that...

    The tension grow....



    Yermolai: More Vodka!!

    Till the morning lights, I drank with the two Russian lunatics only to be saved from alcohol poisoning thanks to the help from my number two – Riley Bartley – and senior coach (the only one really qualified after Yermolai's son isn't really 'football' material) Joel Power.



    Riley: Right boss, we both think we should be the manager come next season.
    Joel: Too fing right! I was about to become the champion, then you come and take the fing limelight! What have you done what me and Riley haven't?
    Niko: Took a team into the UEFA Cup after saving them from relegation three seasons before which would mean they would be abolished from the league system?

    They both looked dumbfounded.

    Niko: Or the fact that I have won 3 league titles in three different countries?

    Again they looked at one another.

    Niko: And I have taken down two terrorist groups along side that, whilst still banging hot chicks and being cool?
    Joel: Hey, I am more fing cool! My name is Joel Power! Power-house!
    Riley: Bitch, both my names end with a 'ley' on the end!

    As we continued to bicker, the room from which I was just able to emerge from started to descend on us, like bailiffs on a late debt pay. It grabbed both Joel and Riley, who were still bickering, saying how one looked more like a model while the other one saying he is American, and therefore better then everyone, and as it dragged the two victims into it's toxic atmosphere, there was one word uttered out.

    “V....O....D...K....A!”

    To which I replied.

    Niko: Partying with Eastern Europeans – meh, Russian Standards!

    As I started to walk away from the looming door, I heard the cries of my staff members as the music of the demonic drunks roared loudly.



    As the gurgled noises tore away at my ears, I charged down the hall, trying to redeem myself that death would be the only solution. But thankfully I escaped, and was soon ready to put my head elsewhere (and not between the bosom of Babe, as I would want to!) but back to the football, with the last game of the season!

    Even though I acknowledged the last game being the actual last game of OUR season as it was our last home game, I still started to over think about what kind of team I should play? With the surprising news that The Eejit was actually playable, I firstly decided he would neither or less – but for the rest it was the same eleven that played against Cambridge.



    Saturday 4th May 2013
    English Conference
    Barrow v. Newark
    1-2

    (Rowe '54)(Zbimg'45, The Eejit '81)
    Kowalinho injured '63
    MoM – The Eejit

    A wonderful display from the returning The Eejit turned heads forward, but the injury to Kowalinho turned them away. With the decisive game against Hereford just a few weeks away, the hefty challenge which rendered him with what my physio said looked like Strained knee ligaments – a three week injury – ruling him out of the game. The fact that it happened during the intense second half, rather then the boring first, made the tension towards the latter half of the even more fuelled.

    It was on the dying moments of the first half, which had saw us waste multiple of chances, with only the stubborn brick wall of Eejit anchoring us from any counter attacks, that Hemphill found an ounce of inspiration from nothing and charged forward on the wing, crossing into the box founding the head of the diving Zbimg to earn us a well deserved lead.

    But the second half was like a whole different game! Barrow, who had already sealed a midtable position, charged in number but was dispossessed by the almighty sliding tackle of The Eejit, which with the wet grass seemed more like a sliding taunt. The ball slipped from his legs, just as An Mask Crusader emerged on the field looking to streak.



    But the ball flung right into his face crushing his 'secret' identity, and blocking any air to come from his nostrils making him suffocate in his mask. As we were shocked, the ref said play-on and the ball somehow had dropped to the feet of Rowe who used the distraction to his advantage and scored!

    Riley: Oh My Gawd! That ball killed AMC!
    Niko: Look at those cheating bs!

    But we weren't bowing out! We charged on toward the goal, going pass the costumed corpse on the sideline, as Hemphill looked certain to do another assist when Skelton charged in shoulder-to-shoulder on Kowalinho, who fell instantly on the floor after he was caught running. Soon Van der Voom came on as Kowalinho was streched off, and it was only a short of time before a Hemphill corner was saved and the on-slaught that we had been known for had started.

    But despite the new mentality, there was no way of breaking down their attacks without the determination and pace of Kowalinho up-front, until The Eejit decided to uncharacteristically charged up field – which I am sure was due to a certain section of fans holding whiskey and screaming something about 'Lynx', all of whom were female as well – he used the wet surface to his advantage passing the ball lightly so it would collect moist and bounce off the defenders boots, which it worked as it met the feet of Zbimg, who shot was awful as he slipped off the ball but was able to earn a corner.

    Niko: Welcome to 101 Niko's Awesome Tactic Ideas!

    I screamed as I watched as Hemphill took a rather unorthodox method of taking his corner, grabbing a scarf from the crowd to blindfold himself, remembering my lines.

    Niko: Imagine the target as a naked woman. The only way to score with her is to find her head, and to knock the braincells out so she's doesn't judge you. But your blinded by lust, so have to close your eyes to do it. Remember where she was, what she looked like and go for it!

    As he stepped up, the shocked and silent staff and crowd watched in horror as the ball was lobbed against the crowd, bouncing into the air off the wet surface towards the far post where The Eejit was stood checking out the women in the stadium behind, to which the ball hit the centre of his head and dropped into the back of the net as the players stood still. I was the only person celebrating as The Eejit fainted onto the floor, but got back up a second later.

    Soon after the whistle went, and everyone spoke off the unusual nature of the goal, but I didn't care, we had ended the 2012/13 season with only losing 3 games, only 1 in the whole of 2013.

    Code:
    ************************************************** ********************************************** English Conference - Wednesday 29th May 2013 ************************************************** ********************************************** ================================================== ============================================== 2012/13 Table ================================================== ============================================== Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st C Newark 42 16 3 2 44 14 13 7 1 49 20 97 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Newport 42 12 6 3 35 20 12 1 8 35 23 79 3rd Hereford 42 12 7 2 48 27 9 3 9 37 35 73 4th Grimsby 42 14 6 1 42 19 4 10 7 27 30 70 5th Luton 42 8 6 7 22 22 11 6 4 43 28 69 6th Barrow 42 10 6 5 31 22 9 3 9 27 30 66 7th Woking 42 13 6 2 45 25 4 8 9 30 44 65 8th Telford Utd 42 12 3 6 41 30 6 6 9 22 27 63 9th Forest Green 42 11 4 6 36 31 6 8 7 25 27 63 10th Mansfield 42 10 8 3 30 19 7 3 11 23 30 62 11th Cambridge Utd 42 12 1 8 38 35 5 9 7 20 22 61 12th Kidderminster 42 9 3 9 39 44 8 6 7 40 42 60 13th Stockport 42 10 3 8 32 25 5 8 8 27 30 56 14th Macclesfield 42 10 7 4 47 30 4 5 12 32 48 54 15th Wrexham 42 9 7 5 29 25 4 4 13 33 54 50 16th Ebbsfleet Utd 42 10 8 3 32 22 2 3 16 19 45 47 17th Braintree 42 6 3 12 33 48 6 6 9 35 37 45 18th Southport 42 5 6 10 26 28 6 4 11 30 35 43 19th Gateshead 42 6 4 11 28 37 5 6 10 25 33 43 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20th R Alfreton 42 7 5 9 30 36 2 7 12 18 35 39 21st R Hyde 42 4 11 6 39 43 3 1 17 21 50 33 22nd R Lincoln 42 6 4 11 24 36 2 3 16 20 46 31
    It would be two weeks till the next game against Hereford, for these fourteen days I decided to give the players three days off to celebrate before meeting up for training. In those three days, something strange occurred on the news.



    Reporter: Welcome to BBC News, today's breaking news is that Louis Walsh has been named as the new Prime Minister after the sudden death of the Supreme Prime Minister Simon Cowell, who has been said was killed by a 'solo asphyxiation'.

    Soon the ugly muck came on the screen.



    Louis: After spending so many years judging others on a judging panel which was scripted by Mr Cowell, I am determined that I will run this country to the best of my abilities.

    Shocked I turned the TV off, knowing that something bad was going to happen with that Muppet in charge. After that, time was spent picking out different Shades of Gray for the Wedding towels, or something – but finally the day arrived, and the venue was Goodison Park.



    As the team arrived, I noticed an absence of a certain Scot whom was told not to go out drinking the night before, but disobeyed my orders. Soon a got a text saying that he had somehow arrived in Glasgow from a train and had lost his mix CD, and would be spending the day searching for it.

    Fortunately I had known something like this was going to happen and brought Clayton along encase something happened, meaning he would play in the Defensive Midfield slot with Wato in front of him who seemed to have relished the rest I had given him. Up-front was the prolific Zbimg and Ediz, who looked sharp during training for the injured Kowalinho. Henderson was dropped to the bench in favour for O'Toibin, which also sat Wood and Van der Voom. The back line was the usual with Hoolihan and BobMem in the heart of defence, Baz on the left and Hernandez on the right with Hemphill playing just in front of him.



    Saturday 18th May 2013
    English FA Trophy Final
    Newark v. Hereford


    Spoiler!


    After the game I felt like hell, how could have that happened? What's worse was the reaction from Babe after I told her what was going to happen. She had left her job, and was so into the planning she didn't really keep up the scores or the teams, constantly always trying to get her family members to come to the big day (some of whom haven't spoken to each other for years!).
    Spoiler!


    With that dealt with it was time...

    Spoiler!


    Code:
    ************************************************** ********************************************** English Conference - Wednesday 29th May 2002 ************************************************** ********************************************** ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Table ================================================== ============================================== Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st C Newark 42 16 3 2 44 14 13 7 1 49 20 97 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Newport 42 12 6 3 35 20 12 1 8 35 23 79 3rd Hereford 42 12 7 2 48 27 9 3 9 37 35 73 4th Grimsby 42 14 6 1 42 19 4 10 7 27 30 70 5th Luton 42 8 6 7 22 22 11 6 4 43 28 69 6th Barrow 42 10 6 5 31 22 9 3 9 27 30 66 7th Woking 42 13 6 2 45 25 4 8 9 30 44 65 8th Telford Utd 42 12 3 6 41 30 6 6 9 22 27 63 9th Forest Green 42 11 4 6 36 31 6 8 7 25 27 63 10th Mansfield 42 10 8 3 30 19 7 3 11 23 30 62 11th Cambridge Utd 42 12 1 8 38 35 5 9 7 20 22 61 12th Kidderminster 42 9 3 9 39 44 8 6 7 40 42 60 13th Stockport 42 10 3 8 32 25 5 8 8 27 30 56 14th Macclesfield 42 10 7 4 47 30 4 5 12 32 48 54 15th Wrexham 42 9 7 5 29 25 4 4 13 33 54 50 16th Ebbsfleet Utd 42 10 8 3 32 22 2 3 16 19 45 47 17th Braintree 42 6 3 12 33 48 6 6 9 35 37 45 18th Southport 42 5 6 10 26 28 6 4 11 30 35 43 19th Gateshead 42 6 4 11 28 37 5 6 10 25 33 43 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20th R Alfreton 42 7 5 9 30 36 2 7 12 18 35 39 21st R Hyde 42 4 11 6 39 43 3 1 17 21 50 33 22nd R Lincoln 42 6 4 11 24 36 2 3 16 20 46 31 ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Goals ================================================== ============================================== Pos Player Club Apps Gls ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 31 (1) 32 2nd Chris Sharp Telford Utd 42 23 3rd Scott Rendell Luton 41 (1) 23 4th Delroy Facey Hereford 40 23 5th Brett Williams Woking 42 22 6th Ryan Rowe Kidderminster 38 (2) 20 7th Giuseppe Sole Woking 41 20 8th Matthew Barnes-Homer Macclesfield 33 (2) 18 9th Ben Tomlinson Alfreton 35 18 10th Leighton McGivern Stockport 39 18 11th Ryan Bowman Hereford 27 (9) 18 12th Obi Anoruo Barrow 30 (1) 17 13th James Brown Gateshead 40 17 14th Darren Byfield Telford Utd 41 17 15th Anthony Elding Grimsby 35 (1) 17 16th Waide Fairhurst Macclesfield 26 (1) 17 17th Kane Shepherd Braintree 42 16 18th Ben Hutchinson Mansfield 41 16 19th Aaron Woodley Newport 19 (7) 15 20th Reece Styche Forest Green 42 15 21st Moses Ashikodi Ebbsfleet Utd 42 15 22nd Stuart Fleetwood Luton 32 (6) 14 23rd Danny Crow Newport 42 14 24th Jake Speight Mansfield 42 14 25th Adam Marriott Cambridge Utd 28 14 26th Aaron O'Connor Newport 41 13 27th Ryan Charles Newport 32 (4) 12 28th Colin Larkin Lincoln 42 12 29th John Grant Southport 30 11 30th Craig Disley Grimsby 42 11 ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Assists ================================================== ============================================== Pos Player Club Apps Asts ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Joe Colbeck Grimsby 41 19 2nd Fraser Hemphill Newark 34 (1) 18 3rd Brian Smikle Hereford 41 14 4th Jamie Barton Gateshead 28 (2) 13 5th Aaron O'Connor Newport 41 13 6th Chris Carruthers Hereford 41 13 7th Anthony McNamee Macclesfield 36 12 8th Chris Sharp Telford Utd 42 11 9th Matty Mainwaring Stockport 39 (1) 11 10th Colin Daniel Mansfield 31 (6) 11 11th Diarmuid O'Toib匤 Newark 27 11 12th Jake Moult Alfreton 22 10 13th Harrison Dunk Cambridge Utd 38 9 14th Michael Demetriou Kidderminster 42 9 15th Euan Holden Stockport 38 9 16th Samir Carruthers Wrexham 26 9 17th Matt Robinson Luton 41 9 18th Richie Baker Barrow 42 9 19th Kevin Betsy Woking 36 (3) 9 20th Adam Newton Woking 40 (2) 9 21st Ryan Peters Braintree 35 (3) 9 22nd Lee Sawyer Woking 40 9 23rd James Vincent Kidderminster 34 (1) 9 24th Luke Hubbins Telford Utd 36 (2) 8 25th Derek Niven Grimsby 40 8 26th Neil Ashton Wrexham 42 8 27th Louie Soares Ebbsfleet Utd 38 8 28th Gary Roberts Mansfield 42 8 29th Tom Phipp Ebbsfleet Utd 39 7 30th Ashley Checketts Kidderminster 36 7 ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Average Rating ================================================== ============================================== Pos Player Club Apps Av R ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 31 (1) 8.31 2nd Waide Fairhurst Macclesfield 26 (1) 7.89 3rd Volkan Ediz Newark 25 (4) 7.83 4th Chris Sharp Telford Utd 42 7.76 5th Giuseppe Sole Woking 41 7.71 6th James Tunnicliffe Stockport 42 7.67 7th Aaron Woodley Newport 19 (7) 7.65 8th Diarmuid O'Toib匤 Newark 27 7.63 9th Delroy Facey Hereford 40 7.63 10th Chris Todd Forest Green 35 7.60 11th Neil Ashton Wrexham 42 7.55 12th Daniel O'Donnell Stockport 37 7.54 13th George Pilkington Mansfield 37 7.54 14th Brett Williams Woking 42 7.52 15th Dean Beckwith Luton 42 7.50 16th Garry Richards Luton 40 7.50 17th Roddy Hoolihan Newark 32 7.50 18th Matthew Barnes-Homer Macclesfield 33 (2) 7.49 19th Kowalinho Newark 18 (3) 7.48 20th Mark Clayton Newark 28 (2) 7.47 21st Brian Smikle Hereford 41 7.46 22nd Fraser Hemphill Newark 34 (1) 7.46 23rd Aaron O'Connor Newport 41 7.44 24th David Pipe Newport 37 7.43 25th Adam Marriott Cambridge Utd 28 7.43 26th Shepard Newark 39 (1) 7.42 27th Kane Shepherd Braintree 42 7.40 28th Scott Rendell Luton 41 (1) 7.40 29th Will Salmon Telford Utd 40 7.40 30th James Norwood Forest Green 28 (7) 7.40 ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Man of Match ================================================== ============================================== Pos Player Club Apps MoM ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 31 (1) 13 2nd Chris Sharp Telford Utd 42 11 3rd Waide Fairhurst Macclesfield 26 (1) 10 4th Scott Rendell Luton 41 (1) 9 5th Giuseppe Sole Woking 41 7 6th Aaron Woodley Newport 19 (7) 5 7th Kane Shepherd Braintree 42 5 8th Paul Malone Southport 23 5 9th Chris Todd Forest Green 35 5 10th Aaron O'Connor Newport 41 5 11th Brian Smikle Hereford 41 5 12th Daniel O'Donnell Stockport 37 5 13th James Tunnicliffe Stockport 42 5 14th Craig Disley Grimsby 42 5 15th George Pilkington Mansfield 37 5 16th Leighton McGivern Stockport 39 5 17th Garry Richards Luton 40 5 18th Ryan Bowman Hereford 27 (9) 5 19th Adam Marriott Cambridge Utd 28 5 20th Danny Crow Newport 42 4 21st Matthew Barnes-Homer Macclesfield 33 (2) 4 22nd Obi Anoruo Barrow 30 (1) 4 23rd Brett Williams Woking 42 4 24th Ben Tomlinson Alfreton 35 4 25th Richie Baker Barrow 42 4 26th Delroy Facey Hereford 40 4 27th David Pipe Newport 37 4 28th Dean Beckwith Luton 42 4 29th Colin Daniel Mansfield 31 (6) 4 30th Danny Hattersley Stockport 18 (5) 4
    Code:
    ************************************************** ********************************************** Newark Athletic FC - Wednesday 29th May 2002 ************************************************** ********************************************** ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Fixtures ================================================== ============================================== Date Opposition Ven Competition Res Attend Scorers ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 18.7.01 Rochdale H Friendly 3:0 10637 Wato, Ediz 2 23.7.01 Cheltenham H Vodka Cup Semi Final 3:0 2577 Kowalinho, Wato, O'Toib匤 24.7.01 Bournemouth H Vodka Cup Final 0:0 3609 28.7.01 THES Sport BEL H Boltsky Cup Semi Final 4:0 1636 Van der Voom 2, Wato, Sulonen 29.7.01 Blackpool H Boltsky Cup Final 0:2 5918 18.8.01 Hereford A Conference 4:4 4245 Ediz 2, Kowalinho, Baz 21.8.01 Hyde H Conference 3:0 4068 Wato, Kowalinho 2 25.8.01 Southport A Conference 3:0 4713 Van der Voom 2, Ediz 29.8.01 Woking H Conference 2:1 6556 Henderson, Hemphill 1.9.01 Braintree A Conference 2:1 2398 Wato, Ediz 3.9.01 Newport H Conference 1:0 6444 Van der Voom 8.9.01 Mansfield A Conference 0:0 4960 11.9.01 Stockport H Conference 3:2 7460 Ediz 2, Wato 15.9.01 Kidderminster A Conference 3:1 2205 Ediz, O'Toib匤, Zbimg 22.9.01 Grimsby H Conference 1:1 7387 Ediz 25.9.01 Gateshead H Conference 0:1 6162 29.9.01 Wrexham H Conference 5:1 7207 Zbimg 5 6.10.01 Ebbsfleet Utd A Conference 1:1 2292 Ediz 13.10.01 Truro H FA Cup Qual.Rnd 5:1 2330 Sulonen, Van der Voom 2, Hemphill, Wato 27.10.01 Telford Utd H Conference 3:0 4722 Wato, Ediz, Hemphill 7.11.01 Macclesfield A Conference 2:2 4827 O'Toib匤, Zbimg 10.11.01 Alfreton A Conference 2:0 1146 Van der Voom 2 17.11.01 MK Dons A FA Cup 1st Rnd 1:1 6064 Zbimg 24.11.01 Grimsby H FA Trophy 2nd Rnd 2:1 1194 Zbimg, O'Toib匤 28.11.01 MK Dons H FA Cup 1st Rnd Replay 0:2 10482 1.12.01 Luton A Conference 3:3 6609 Kowalinho 2, Zbimg 8.12.01 Barrow H Conference 2:0 6373 Henderson pen, Zbimg 12.12.01 Lincoln H Conference 2:0 8470 Kowalinho, Vasily 15.12.01 Cambridge Utd A Conference 1:0 3785 Vasily 22.12.01 Forest Green H Conference 1:0 7870 Kowalinho 26.12.01 Hereford H Conference 1:1 6849 Zbimg 29.12.01 Woking A Conference 0:1 2789 5.1.02 Braintree H Conference 3:1 6325 O'Toib匤, Zbimg, Wato 12.1.02 Hyde A Conference 4:0 1362 Wato, Zbimg, O'Toib匤, The Eejit 19.1.02 Guiseley A FA Trophy 3rd Rnd 2:0 118 The Eejit, Hemphill 23.1.02 Southport H Conference 1:2 4957 Kowalinho 26.1.02 Newport A Conference 1:1 5131 Wato 2.2.02 Kidderminster H Conference 3:0 6667 BobMem, Zbimg 2 9.2.02 Farnborough A FA Trophy 4th Rnd 4:1 719 Van der Voom 2, Zbimg 2 13.2.02 Grimsby A Conference 2:2 6254 O'Toib匤, Zbimg 16.2.02 Mansfield H Conference 1:0 6813 Ediz 23.2.02 Stockport A Conference 3:1 6304 Zbimg 3 2.3.02 Ebbsfleet Utd H Conference 4:1 6250 Zbimg 3, Hemphill 9.3.02 Macclesfield H Conference 2:0 6619 Zbimg, O'Toib匤 12.3.02 Gateshead A Conference 3:0 1416 Zbimg 2, Wato 16.3.02 Wrexham A Conference 3:0 3902 Zbimg 2, Liam 23.3.02 Lincoln A Conference 4:0 4745 Zbimg 2, Hemphill, Wato 30.3.02 Luton H Conference 2:2 7903 Wato, Kowalinho 6.4.02 Telford Utd A Conference 3:1 5776 Zbimg, Hemphill, Kowalinho 8.4.02 Alfreton H Conference 2:1 6115 Van der Voom 2 13.4.02 Newport H FA Trophy Semi Final Leg 1 2:0 10302 Zbimg, Wato 17.4.02 Forest Green A Conference 3:1 2542 Zannit, O'Toib匤, Van der Voom 20.4.02 Newport A FA Trophy Semi Final Leg 2 1:2 3627 Kowalinho 27.4.02 Cambridge Utd H Conference 2:0 7180 Zbimg 2 4.5.02 Barrow A Conference 2:1 4104 Zbimg, The Eejit 18.5.02 Hereford N FA Trophy Final 2:2 29129 Ediz, Wato 22.5.02 Hereford N FA Trophy Final Replay 0:1 18571
    Code:
    ************************************************** ********************************************** Newark Athletic FC - Wednesday 29th May 2002 ************************************************** ********************************************** ================================================== ============================================== 2001/2 Senior Club Stats ================================================== ============================================== No Name Apps Gls Con Pens Asts Yel Red MoM Av R -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- - Bamford, Patrick - - - - - - - - ---- - Baz 48 1 0 0 4 0 1 0 6.88 - BobMem 51 (1) 1 0 0 1 6 0 1 7.27 - Clayton, Mark 35 (2) 0 0 0 6 5 0 2 7.46 - Ediz, Volkan 28 (5) 12 0 0 5 0 0 1 7.82 - Hemphill, Fraser 44 (1) 7 0 0 24 1 0 2 7.53 - Henderson, Mark 23 (7) 2 0 1 (1) 9 1 0 0 6.87 - Hoolihan, Roddy 37 0 0 0 1 5 0 0 7.49 - Jose Hernandez 36 0 0 0 2 2 0 0 7.03 - Kowalinho 23 (3) 11 0 0 5 1 1 4 7.54 - Liam 32 1 0 0 0 2 0 0 7.25 - O'Toib匤, Diarmuid 36 8 0 0 13 2 1 5 7.50 - Osbourne, Nicky - - - - - - - - ---- - Shepard 49 (1) 0 39 0 0 0 0 1 7.46 - Sulonen, Hannu 6 (2) 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.25 - The Eejit 16 (2) 3 0 0 1 2 1 1 7.22 - Van der Voom, Henrik 9 (6) 12 0 0 4 0 0 2 8.00 - Vasily, Artur 9 (2) 2 0 0 1 0 0 1 7.00 - Wato, Eddy 38 (3) 13 0 0 7 4 1 3 7.32 - Wood, John 3 (2) 0 6 0 0 0 0 0 6.80 - Zannit, Terrance 10 (2) 1 0 0 1 0 0 0 6.67 - Zbimg, Lorenzo 39 (1) 37 0 0 6 1 0 16 8.28


  25. #250

    Join Date
    04-03-12
    Posts
    4,250
    Great story telling. Looking forward to the end of season awards party.

    Real shame about the final though.

    Zbing top goalscorer, highest average rating, 16 MoM awards. I can guess who fans' player of the year is then

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