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Thread: [STORY] A Golden and Fearless Ambition

  1. #401

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    Quote Originally Posted by CMAdventurer View Post
    Big loss there.
    *Thinks The Eejit has disciplinary problems
    * Thinks CMAdventurer should mind his own ****ing business before The Eejit puts his ****ing head through a brick wall
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  2. #402

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    Sorry to ask, but did NO-ONE get the subtle hint/foreshadowing that was inserted in 'The Dread Interview'?

    Ifo, good skills to read it and highlight it, otherwise good work for me not to spoil the end of season three.

  3. #403

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    CMA are u in this?

    Can't remember who is who at his moment

    I'll do the write up soon, after PTP found some kind of #ZanSnakeEdge atm.

    *If that trends = awesome!!

  4. #404

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The Realisation – Chapter Two

    After a unforgettable night, initially it was awkward for a while, but it seems to work in my favour as we were closer. But before I could worry about the soap opera storyline, I was brought back to the realm of football as just a matter of days we would be facing David Moyes and Arsenal.

    But thankfully, I was able to rest a couple of player and allow some real youth a run as we faced non-league side Bishop’s Stroftfond in the Second Round of the FA Cup.

    A team that was just able to scathe through to the Second Round of the FA Cup, they had the home advantage but that didn’t stop the lads thrashing them 3-0, with O’Dowd and The Eejit scoring (O’Dowd signing on permanently), but it was Alex Nicholls who impressed as the former-Chelsea youngster grabbed the third goal and the Man of the Match, putting a little bit of hope for the Arsenal game – which in the end I decided to go for the more regular players of Henderson and Van der Voom on the wings.

    Playing against the basic Youth side felt like an insult, but also invoked a feeling of possibility of actually beating the bastards! As the two sides lined up at the Emirates, the Arsehole Home fans were as dismissive as an AIDs patient.

    Against the script, the Black and White strips of Newark clothing were the team controlling the game – as Flapianski endured to keep the score level. But the best opportunity soon was twisted as the corrupt refs as Wellington Silva samba’d his face onto the floor from Marshall and got a penalty. The one prick to take it….

    He stood up comfortably for the kick, eying down the mouth of the goal straight at Marshall, who stood confident and focused. As the whistle blew from the corrupted cock’s mouth, Walcott aligned to the spot and ran up with a mixture of pace and power, aiming towards the bottom right…

    Marshall reflexes shone as he jumped across to save the rather pathetic penalty, which was duly cleared by Baz.

    After the penalty the match was back and forth, with Zbimg missing wide and Marshall on high alert to any attempt to slaughter his net. But we was given a life line as Ebecilio felt the just hand of karma from the corrupt judge as we watched the young Dutchman leave the match early.

    But despite the one man advantage, we couldn’t take the game by the neck as chance after chance never finished with a glorious goal as we hoped, and Marshall was continuously being tested by the young ‘Gunners’. And after it all, it came down to Penalties to settle the ‘Premier League giants’ and the Second Division fodder. Like a bad mixture of alcohol, the young guns looked more noxious and looked set to be bait for a night with Theo.

    It was Walcott who had the job to take the first penalty, and after missing the one earlier in the game so the pressure was upon his shoulders. But he shrugged it off and scored.

    In response Zbimg scored, but Andre Santos scored his, only for substitute Jarvis equalised it for it to be 2-2, this is when I thought reality would kick our butts – until Kieran Gibbs stood up to take the next shot, which as you would expect from a defender was easily saved:

    Wato scored his, like his metamorphosis creature Frank Lampard always does, but Captain Wilshere bagged them into the game, as Henderson couldn’t find his composure. But neither of us could score until the man of the match, and of the penalties, David Marshall stepped us at gave us the single penalty we needed to go through!

    But the response from the players from the epic win wasn’t the momentum thrill ride that I wanted, as straight off the back I made only three changes for the Bournemouth game, which resulted in both Liam and Ryan Jarvis being injured and a 3-0 loss. Jarvis was out for Two weeks with a stubbed toe, and Liam had a 10 day rest with a gashed leg.

    Hoping to bounce back, Zbimg, Betsch and Wato came on but we were slapped in the face as we lost yet another man to injury, just one minute into time. The injury set us back as Leyton scored twice into the second half, and Henderson scored one back – which we just couldn’t add to. After the ‘triumph’ over Arsenal we had now lost two games off the bat.

    And with Christmas just five days away, the mood/atmosphere around the club was mute as we went into the Christmas party.

    The feeling of an outsider to the team that I had spent the last two years with started to emerge, friends had started to leave the club and former first team players felt like an haunting image of the conceived enemy that I was becoming.

    But, I couldn’t really give a fuck, as soon I was pushed into a room by Michaels to start to plan the attack on the Scottish base of Phetrovology.

    Michaels: Right, we now know our allies, and army, to attack the facility. But, our Intel isn’t as detailed as we would like to be. We have no information about their defences, or a blue print of the base itself.
    Niko: So we are going in blind?
    Michaels: Yes. But I am sure by using stealth we can sneak in and take them out quietly enough to ensure that no alarms are going to go off.
    Niko: Right, but that doesn’t really seem possible with an army of zombies!
    Michaels: That’s because we are going to break into two offensive groups, one will make sure that any vital defences are down, and the other will await commands to attack the facility head on.

    I nodded in agreement, just wanting to get home and see Kesha once more.

    Michaels: Okay then, we attack on New Year’s Day!

    And so, I sneaked out of the rest of the party as Christmas Eve was about to end, and returned home with one special ‘gift’ awaiting for me.

    Oh, hell!

    You have to love Christmas!

    Two days after I was in training was I was told by the club’s secretary about an usual phone call that had come in for me. I went off to leave the rest of the coaching staff to finish off the session, as I arrived into the reception of the training ground, a deep chill emerged onto the surface of my skin. Brushing it off due to the change of temperature of central heating of the room instead of the cold weather, I grabbed the phone.

    As the end of the phone came closer to my ear all I could hear was deep breathing.

    Caller: Niko Bergstrom, is that you?
    Niko: What do you want? I am in the middle of a training session here!
    Caller: I am calling to tell you to back off from Project X!
    Niko: I don’t know what the hell you are on about, but if you are talking about Phetrovology, you tell ‘Him’ that he should be scared, because I am coming after him!
    Caller: Hahaha! You are certainly funny! He said you would be. I’ll give you some time to listen to your voice mail to realise- I AM NOT FUCKING AROUND!

    As he said that, I grabbed my phone from my pocket that had been on silent and read that I did indeed have a new voicemail. Wary, I entered the pin and called to listen to it – the phone number, my house number.

    Kesha’s voice entered the fray.

    Kesha: Hiya Nikki, thought I should ring to remind you to go shopping before you come back. Kind of ran out of chocolate spread and alcohol after Christmas Eve. That night was wild! Well….

    Suddenly, a sound of a broken window can be heard from upstairs.

    Kesha: (away from phone) Hello? Anyone there!!
    Kesha: (Into phone) Niko, I think someone is here!

    Crashing, broken glass, footsteps over shards of glass. The squeak of the top step of the stairs. As I listened closely, I heard a muffled voice telling others to be quiet as Kesha panicked with bloated breathe.

    Kesha: (whispering) Niko, I am hiding in the closet. Please help me. I don’t want them to take me. Niko – please-

    As she tried to plead for her life into the mobile device, tears rained down and she shook in the small coffin. As she tried to beg for help to the one person she thought she could rely on – a door was flung open.

    Muffled Voice: There you are!

    A hitch-pitched squeal that would deafen any dog, as the phone dropped onto the ground.

    Muffled voice:
    Oh! Bitch just bit me!

    Said the male voice, as the last words of Kesha came out in a terror filled voice.

    Kesha: Niko!!

    And the message ends.

    As I stood in front of the desk, every hair of my body raised up and my muscles tensed in anger.

    Caller: Now you know, stay away or she’ll be dead!

    In response I could say only one thing:

    Niko: I don't know who you are. I don't know where you are. But what I do know are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my Kesha go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you.
    Caller: Bring. It. On!

    And he then put the phone down.

    Niko: I’m going to bring them a world full of hurt!


  5. #405

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Bout time to End this BS!

    Chapter Three: A World Full of Hurt!

    After the phone call I instantly rang Michaels, and arranged a meeting at my former false apartment which had turned into the secret meeting place between myself and Michaels.

    Please Niko, tell me you didn’t agitate them!
    Niko: Why? You know, all this could be fake! A hallucination, right?
    Michaels: I am afraid not. I got some of my officers to check the house, and Kesha is indeed missing and there is evidence of a break in.
    Niko: Well then I did threaten them, and I am 100% backing that – with or without your help!

    As I was about to exit the flat, Michaels stood.

    Do that and she is dead.
    Niko: I have to try.

    I added before walking out.

    I made it to the secret hiding place which stored everything, when I emerged onto a platform.

    As it rose, an outfit seemed to come with it:

    And underneath was a playable device which highlighted my name, as I pressed the button a familiar face came up:

    Niko: Zan?

    I said in confusion as he started to speak.

    Zan: Niko, by now you are about to escalate onward to the fight against Phetrovology, and was told about a mysterious super hero called SuperZan. In confusion I guess you thought it was me! But no. Zan is not a single person, but a collective of Awesome people protecting the world as they waited for the real super hero to emerge. That hero Niko, is you.

    I face palmed my face harder than anyone ever before.

    Niko: Right, now I know this is fake!

    I said as the unreal prophecy was explained.

    Zan: You are not genetically human like others, you are not engraved with the same faults as humans do. You are special. You are instinctive with your senses, you are quicker to respond than anyone! You are a born hero!

    As I grabbed my Yo-yo to see if this was fake, it flew into the air like it was stuck in some magnetic field.

    Zan: Wear this and the effects of you emerging with disappear, and you will emerge as the SuperZan!
    Niko: Okay then…

    I said in confusion, as I started to wear the suit. When I finally put on the suit, everything around me started to feel extraordinary. Every sound echoed into my ears, I could align the whole space without looking!

    Niko: Fuck sake!

    I screamed in agony with a realisation that I was truly not normal. But the message went on.

    Zan: Do not go hastely, you must start from the beginnings to the endgame. Become a hero first, then reach the level of Super Hero! Be a common copper and then fight against your nemesis.
    Niko: So don’t rush. Fucking Michaels was right!

    And so I left the cave wearing a leather suit, but one awesome thing occurred!

    I could jump super fucking high!

    Taking on the words of both Zan and Michaels I decided that I would firstly deal with the two last games of the year, before heading off to find Kesha. The first game was against Brighton, which due to injuries and lack of form of some major players, I decided to change the tactic and took a risk starting youth player Ashley Curtis up-front with Van der Voom:

    But it didn’t beckon the kind of result I hope for. Brighton laid on pressure after pressure, which included a pulled hamstring for Van der Voom who had to replace after ten minutes by Kevin Dupuis, whose presence was felt as he scored just 22 minutes after coming on. But the man of the match was once again Marshall who continuously saved our arses.

    After the game I decided to help solve some petty crimes around Newark-on-Trent, which included graffiti, stealing, and other none interesting tasks – but thankfully I was soon alerted (thanks to a radio I stole from Michaels) to an hostage situation. I jumped my way there to the scene, which I was alerted to the strange ‘house’.

    As I kicked in the door, the ‘house’ inside was completely different to what I was expecting from the exterior!

    Niko: What the hell!?

    As I said that I saw the strange kidnapper.

    Kidnapper: So you have come!
    Niko: Listen, release the hostage and surrender or I’ll bring you a world full of hurt!
    Kidnapper: You don’t understand, we have you where we want you!

    He shouted, as I sudden got a inkling as people emerged from all the corners of the house.

    Niko: What the hell is this?
    Leader: You are have already hurt us! You have killed us in many ways, Nikolavski Bergstrom!
    Niko: Why do people always call me that!

    As I screamed the people started to come closer.

    As we died, all you could do is say ‘Oh My Gawd!’ and identify the person who killed us! You did nothing for justice, and now you work for justice? We are AMC, I am AMC – AND ‘OH MY GAWD! AMC IS GOING TO KILL NIKOLAVSKI BERGSTROM!’

    Finally the opportunity had come, but these people were deluded. As they came closer, I jumped into the air and impacted the ground. The AMCs flew into the walls from the force of the crumble ground, smashing their heads apart – now there was less.

    Niko: Ha ha ha! Niko killed the AMCs!
    Leader: You bastard!

    He screamed as a new crowd of AMCs charged from his command.

    Niko: Where the hell are you coming from?

    I said as I punched, kicked and head-butted my way through the never-ending amount of AMCs.

    Leader: You cannot kill what has already been killed! Hahahaha!

    The leader laughed frantically as the number of the AMCs expanded and expanded more, piling onto me, restricting my power to do anything.

    Leader: Get ready to die, Nikolavski!

    He screamed in triumph and I was pinned down to the ground.

    Niko: Not this time!

    I cried, and with all of my force I rolled over to the wall and smacked it with as much power as I could, killing another AMC as I ripped into him to make impact with the concrete floor. The force of the power shook the whole building, an earthquake of my determination loosen the chandelier that was above them!

    And like in a comedy film, it fell and smashed into the ground – sending it’s glass shards flying into the eyes of the AMCs. As they bled to death on the ground in a pile, I emerged, bloody and angered!

    Is that all you got?

    The leader stood unnevered as another horde of AMCs came my way, this time looking different.

    Leader: Meet the AMCs that were disfigured because of your wrath!

    As they slowly crept towards me, I had enough and super jumped onto the landing of the second tier of the house right into the face of the leader.

    Niko: Now say that again!

    I said, grasping his throat with my left hand, tightening it as he struggled more to breathe.

    Leader: You cannot stop us! We are never-ending!

    He squelched under belated breath as I leant him over the bannister.

    Niko: Good. More training then!

    I responded with a crooked smile, as I let go and watched him body fall. As it fell, the chandelier remains gleamed like a spear for a head, and soon it impaled the Leader through the heart. But once again another horde emerged.

    Using this opportunity, I jumped down and crushed one into a nice paste, before quickly bouncing off each head to follow the current of the flow of the undead river. As I followed the endless lines of AMCs, I was finally able to meet an entrance way to a basement.

    Following the basement, I was emerged with another entrance, this time it seemed kind of mystical.

    Soon I emerged with an odd image:

    Niko: Anyway, is this the place where the endless amounts of AMCs come from?
    Tit-Head: Yes….
    Niko: Well, who do I have to vanquish so that it stops?

    The tit head pointed towards a throne in which the person responsible was sitting.

    Instead of doing introductions, I just grabbed the motherfucker by his horns and threw him into the lava pit below.

    Niko: Now that is done for!

    I said as I walked out of the house, as the rotting and decaying bodies, knowing that now I was ready to do what was needed to get Kesha back, and find the woman that I thought was called Sona.

    Before leaving the area I had one thing to say

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! I killed All the AMCs!

    Old Man:
    Super b!

    BUT, before that I had one more game against Portsmouth, and with more players back from injury, I reverted back to the old tactic and the familiar names onto the starting eleven sheet really did appease some doubts in the back of my mind:

    An away 0-3 result was the brilliance of the change, as Jarvis, Nicholls and Knox scored with the help of the assists of Wato, and another one from the Man of the Match Nicholls. We had shown, finally, that we were up for the battle to get the title in the New Year and that maybe we had a little more fight in us then others would want us to believe we didn’t have.

    But, then it came down to it!

    To the moment, to the fight, to the start of the end of Phetrovology.


    And so, that is how it ended, the New Year is a congratulations as everything changes – and the only thing I could really care for is football. No more would I have to deal with bullshit!

  6. #406

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The Aftermath – Chapter Four

    In the aftermath of the downfall of Phetrovology, the world seemed not brighter, but darker. In the FA Cup we had faced Fulham, which resulted in a 0-2 defeat, as would be expected by the home side with both young attacking midfielder Tankovic and experienced Berbatov ending our Cup run.

    We then added left winger Ryan Fraser to the ranks from Celtic for £140k.

    But this news was kind of sadden by the announcement of Jose Hernandez leaving in the summer to go back to his home country, despite being offered a new contract – he spouted some bullshit about a rift between myself and him.

    Back in the results it got worse, a 0-0 draw away against Plymouth meant yet another injury as right back Connor McLaughlin sprained his ankle – ruling him out for three weeks. With Henderson playing at right back, we won 3-2 against Scunthorpe as Zbimg got a first half hattrick. But in the second half, it got worse as Marshall got sent off (and with Zbimg rested meant no goal threat) allowed them to get back into the game thanks to some poor goalkeeping by sub Ross Aitkens.

    Using this I signed another young player from Scotland, 17 year old Centeral Midfeilder Darren Boyle joined for £200k from Dundee United, and was straight into the team despite being a player for the future!

    The next game was in the Vans Trophy, wanting to get the Trophy into our cabinet once more, we fielded a strong side. But despite putting on our best team, the shitty defence that we have become accustomed to so far this season bit us on the ass!

    2 minutes in Katongo scored! Thankfully, Zbimg used this to get ANOTHER hat-trick – plus one more in stoppage time!!

    Celebrating that the game was in the bag and that Shrewbury, a struggling Third Division side, wouldn’t be able to bounce back – once again Jarvis came on. But then, once again, it bit us on the ass! Katongo scored just a minute into the half! And then, thankfully, we were able to hold on until Marshall (once again!) got sent off in the 83rd minute!!

    Sinclair scored the penalty, giving them a life line which they took as Davies scored in dramatic fashion in stoppage time! Wato came off the bench for the extra time to add more, after another disappointing game from Clifford, but due to the stupid ruling defender Williams volley from an Aitkens save won them the game. Yet another piss poor defensive performance.

    In response I challenged the decision of adding another four games to Marshalls ban, which responded with a rejection and an article in a newspaper website.

    Angry I would lose my best goalkeeper for SEVEN games, I had to make do with the fact that I would lose him but thankfully there was two games before the date the ban would start, though a little disappointed he would miss the West Ham game in the League Cup Quarter Final legs. But I decided also to add a new player, this time it was a defender.

    Daniel Carvajal joined for £1.3 million from Leverkusen (A) to add more depth to the right back position which lacked any real challenge to McLaughlin, and would be among the new redevelopment of the squad – which would be reoccurring more in the summer.

    Another defensive signing then came in two days later, a player who could play either left or right back 21 year old Liam Willis joined for £1.6 million from Cardiff and would most likely be first choice left back for the remainder of the season.

    Carvajal made his debut in the 3-1 away win against Carlisle, assisting Zbimg in his 26th goal of the season, as Wato and Ryan Fraser helped Man of the Match Darren Boyle to capture a brace – and show exactly why he was signed! Another 3-1 win at home against Coventry allowed another impressive performance for the right back as he gained another assist, this time for Mark Henderson who scored just 1 minute in the game. Henderson’s performance was a rare start for the young winger/wing-back as Van der Voom and Nicholls we both dropped.

    The Eejit grabbed the headlines though, as he assisted Zbimg for another goal! But then got a straight red for a late challenge, the captain has now earned 3 red cards and 5 yellows over the season, a less desirable state as he had only one straight red in the last two seasons (nevermind the amount of yellows earned) but got a five match ban. Henderson added an assist to his name by providing a sublime cross for Wato to volley in, but was robbed of the Man of the Match award by the inform striker – Zbimg.

    Despite two wins coming into the game, I still felt a little doubtful of getting a result against an impressive West Ham side. With both Andrea Pirlo and Milos Krasic as two incredible signings, Big Sam’s side was rather disappointing as they struggled in mid-table, when they should be fighting for a top 10 spot.

    With a weakened side due to the absence of goalkeeper Marshall and the cup-tied Willis, it was a rather unchanged side from the team that had won against Carlisle except for Shepard coming on. With pressure on the lads, I kind of knew our journey in the cup had well ended.

    With a torment of a first half, we were able to hold on until the last minute when Krasic crossed the ball into the box and scored the first goal of the game. At half-time, Clifford came on the sub-par Boyle, but added nothing as Zbimg couldn’t take his chances and Krasic added the second for Hammers on 59 minutes, the assist coming from midfield maestro Pirlo. Three minutes later and Maiga added his second and 15th goal of the season – adding even more insult to the wounds.

    We got back into the game as Zbimg added a consolation prize, with then a substitution of Aitkens for the miserable Shepard, hoping we could score a couple more if we had a goalkeeper who actually knew how to save a shot!

    But agony! Liam became the second player in two games to be sent off as he went in hard on Maiga. I watched as he walked down the tunnel without even a sign of guilt, as West Ham took clear advantage with the extra man as Noble slit in the final stab into the heart!

    Even though I had expected a loss, I would have never expected such a terrible defensive performance from the lads. Hell, even the offensive performance was a shambles – as we matched West Ham for shot to shot, but lacked the killer finish.

    And I wasn’t the only one annoyed and disappointed by the result as I was called in to explain myself to both Yermolai and General Manager Toshio Minamoto.

    Yermolai: Nikolavski! What is this to? A joke? A fucking kick about in the park?
    Toshio: We wanted many a success, but you provide no such thing! We wanted to be like giant lizard monster of football - like Godzilla – but we are like American giant lizard monster – awful Zilla, Godzilla wannabe!
    Yermolai: It’s fair to say that your balls are close to the blade right now!
    Toshio: Slish-slash – and you female!
    Yermolai: I want an overhaul of this squad! And I still want that title, or I am expecting a resignation signed by your blood!
    Toshio: Drip-drop – from your body!

    As I was kicked out the from, I could hear dodgy pop songs being sung by two people with stereotypical accents, adding more shame onto the situation I have to face. Three suspensions, an out of form defence with no real leader, one want-away all star striker, and a careless chairman who only cared having more trophies to drink vodka from and to wank over to his friends in Russia.

    So for the Brentford games, I took a risk and changed formation to supply a new plan:

    Jarvis would play alongside with Zbimg, Van der Voom playing off them as Baz and Henderson would support as wing-backs. A three man defence which added Mullins only due to lack of choice thanks to injuries. Players that were dropped were: The Eejit, Shepard, Ryan Fraser, and Daniel Carvajal.

    The empathises on attack allowed to bag his first hat trick for the club and a nice Penalty from Henderson as we routed a 4-1 home win. Willis and Carvajal was called in for a close 3-2 win over Tranmere with Boyle and Van der Voom’s goals added by sub Kevin Dupuis’s strike, in yet again over-shadowed a horror show of a goalkeeper performance.

    I stuck with the tactic for another game, which resulted in a 2-2 draw against First placed Colchester, and despite Zbimg getting his 29th and 30th goals for the season – and despite having the lead twice! It was YET ANOTHER piss-poor goalkeeping performance that cost us the vital 2 points.

    And the insult just got worse after a 0-2 home loss against bottom club Bury, as Van der Voom got injured just two minutes after being named as the official vice-captain. As over 7,700 people watched us got taught a lesson from a club basically relegated to the second lowest league in the country – thoughts of accepting defeat and resigning right there plagued my mind.

    But thanks to the help of girlfriend, Kesha, I went against the idea and I would rethink my plans in the summer. With that in mind, we lined up for a worthless second leg against West Ham.

    After such a defeat in the first leg, all I wanted was to see a good performance. For that I reverted back to the 4-3-3 formation that I had found earlier success with. With Liam, Marshall (just two games shy of his total ban) and The Eejit suspended they were replaced by Shepard, Sam Hutchinson and Mark Clayton. Henderson played on the left for cup-tied Willis as Nicholls played on the right wing.

    As the whistle blew the fans chanted the names of their hero striker, Lorenzo Zbimg despite his public outcry for a transfer. And we responded by allowing Maiga to score yet another goal against, crafted by the feet of Krasic.

    Our chances came few and we never really looked scoring throughout the 90 minutes, with Carvajal being injured on the 1 hour mark to be replaced by Colin O’Dowd as Hutchinson played at the right back slot.

    By the standards of the game, we were the best attacking team as out of the 5 chances created, 4 were on goal. West Ham had 6, but only finished 1 – the goal that Maiga scored – and maybe the full time whistle just a bit more enjoyable!

    As I clapped to the home fans for a terrific support throughout the game, I shook the hand of Big Sam, and turned my attention to the last two games of February. But firstly came the new signing of Spanish right winger Ximo for £500k, the 26 year old was playing for Greek side Asteras Tripolis when he was scouted – he was then looked at and signed.

    His first game was against Sheffield United at home, which thanks to the help of Boyle we secured a 3-0 to retake second position in the table. Boyle first did a lovely timed lob pass for Henderson to header in his 5th of the season, then unselfishly did a nice through ball for Wato to finish for his 10th.

    Boyle’s raving game came to a premature end as he was sent off for a poor two footed tackle, but that didn’t stop Wato to chip the ball into Zbimg to finish off the 3-0 drilling.

    Thanks to another impressive 1-4 away win (Zbimg ‘7 ’27, Nicholls ’45, Boyle ’90), we were now just three points adrift from leaders Colchester, and as Zbimg was taken the league from storm – it looked possible for us to catch-up!

    And in congratulations for his terrific form, I finally allowed Zbimg to get what he wanted:

    But on two reasons: 1. The price would be the same as Hemphill’s transfer fee (£5 million) and 2. Because we had already agreed a bosman move for a striker that had already seemed like he would be ready for his replacement.

    At the end of January I was given the Manager of the Month award, and at the end of February Lorenzo was given the Player of the Month, which definetly was the only choice as he has been immense in the last few weeks.

    As I contemplate my future, either way I want to end the season in a bang! And maybe three titles in three years would be the holy grail.

  7. #407

    Join Date
    Recovered well after a big wobble. The red cards just keep coming though!

  8. #408

    Join Date
    Kraków, Poland
    Quote Originally Posted by ZanSnake View Post
    But on two reasons: 1. The price would be the same as Hemphill’s transfer fee (£5 million) and 2. Because we had already agreed a bosman move for a striker that had already seemed like he would be ready for his replacement.
    I'm back?

  9. #409

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The Curtain Call – Chapter Five

    From the get go, I started to invest for the remainder of the season as I secured new staff to help look for better youth prospects. I also signed two players on loan who I thought would help fix the defensive problems that we have been encountering.

    The first loanee was a 23 year old centre back from Crystal Palace Jack Holland, who has failed to make a real contribution to the first team, making only 8 appearances for Palace in the last four seasons!

    The second signee was 22 year old Scotsman Jaime Bain from Ipswich. An Under-21 international player, Bain has also failed to make a shot at the first team after signing to Ipswich for £140k from Airdie United as a 19 year old. Consequently, Bain is the sixth Scot in the squad alongside captain The Eejit, goalkeeper David Marshall, midfielder Darren Boyle, left winger Ryan Fraser and youth prospect Andrew Allan.

    The pair partnered up as Zbimg was dropped to the bench in favour for Jarvis in what was a dull 0-0 draw away against Walsall with yet another red card – this time for midfielder Wato. With Boyle already out due to suspension (Allan making his debut, somewhat a semi-alright performance) and Wato starting his from the 20th, it meant maybe this could be a problem!

    But we bounced back! A 3-1 home win against Gillingham, with Van der Voom scoring a brace from the striker position, and Clifford celebrating his comeback to the team with a goal – the table matched my determination to succeed in the embers of the season!

    Finally we had over-taken Colchester at the top!

    Though they had a game in hand, and only having a one point advantage, it was a good start!

    The enthusiasm ran clear throughout the team as we recorded a 2-0 away win against MK Dons with Clifford and Van der Voom notching more goals – both Wato and Fraser helping them.

    And then came the home game against Notts County – the rival and the vital game to add to the now four point deficit. As the game started the tension didn’t faze the lads, Wato scored in the 16th and 21st minute of the first half of the last game before his 3 match ban started. The Eejit then lobbed the ball for Van der Voom to score his fourth goal in three games 3 minutes from the end of the half.

    As the lads entered the locker-room we were given happy news as Colchester had now let in 2 goals against Gillingham meaning the table, as it stood, looked like this!

    Anxious and determined we stepped back; we defended immensely as the fans chanted ‘Champions!’ But with two minutes left on the clock, Marvin Williams was able to get a consolation prize – because in the end it was inevitable, we now had on our hands ready to clutch the championship!

    As the fans stayed for an hour after the game, I stepped back into the dugout and sat back – inhaling the atmosphere. The atmosphere that I have felt for the past three years, the roaring crowd of the young, old – the male, the female – that I have become accustomed to for eight years. Starting as an 18 year old in Finland, a decade later I still felt the same urge to fight for the people that matter – the fans.

    As I took one last deep breathe in, the negative aspects started to emerge. The corrupt chairman, the media predators that thrive on any aspect on your life, the insane pressure to appeal to the bright audiences no matter what. I got up from the seat and walked down the stadium, leaving the echoing background noise to haunt my every step.

    As I fought with my ultimate decision, I still had to face the ultimate goal scorers of the league: Leicester. The Foxes had been through three managers in as many years, and had faced me twice so far in my career in which they were twice on the losing side. But under John Sheridan they have become a phenomenon! Scoring loads of goals, but their defence lacked.

    As we aligned in the King Power Stadium, only one changed was made: Ximo was brought in on the right wing after over-coming from an injury sustained in training. With a new thriving power in the man known as Van der Voom, all I could hope was that we could out-score the opposition.

    The stadium was packed, but in twenty minutes the Foxes had been dealt with a duo strike from the sword of Van der Voom. Ximo did a nice low cross into the box, which, even though looked like he had slipped, Van der Voom was able to back heel into the air as he fell and lobbed Schmeichel. The second, which came only six minutes later, was a gift of goal thanks to the superb pass from the Captain The Eejit, coolly he megged the keeper to score his tenth of the season.

    Jermaine Beckford was able to get one back sixteen minutes later which a header from Liam Moore’s cross – but it was kindly dealt with as Carvajal ran from the back and lobbed the ball forward for Clifford to score three minutes later!

    Like a dog wanting a treat, the Foxes came back with another goal two minutes from the end of the first half as Danny Drinkwater volleyed in Moore’s second cross of the game. As the whistle blew the score stood at 2-3 to us, a thrilling game that looked like it had more to give.

    But the second half was a display of defensive prowess as neither side looked set to not allow another goal into the back of their net. But that all changed come the swan song of the half as Beckford equalised with 9 minutes left to go.

    Thinking he had won a point for his side, he was soon slapped in the face 2 minutes later. After a terrific low save from Schmeichel from a Carvajal shot, Clifford ran onto the rebound faster than Usain Bolt and smashed it into the back of the net to give heartbreak to the home fans and fantasia to the away!

    But that didn’t stop the players!

    In stoppage time stop Matthew Taylor or Drinkwater as they combined to score a dramatic equaliser!!

    Neither did that stop the Lynx Man of the Year twice in a row, as the captian, leader and soon-to-be legend The Eejit went with a bull of a run, before flicking off a lay off to the right which was smacked straight away by Ximo into the top right!

    What a time to score your first ever Newark goal!!

    However, the after-match celebrations was wrecked as news that the wall that was The Eejit had reach 10 yellow cards and thus would face a 2 match ban from the 10th of April. The seventh ban in his career, the man nick-named as the ‘Midfield Butcher’ by Newark fans would only miss two games, and thus I wasn’t that bothered as I held belief that we could bounce back with a great late run of form!

    As the month of March ended, soon came the accolades!

    For the third time this season I was announced as Manger of the Month for March, as Van der Voom made it two months in a row for a Newark Athletic player to win the Player of the Month competition – but with 9 awards now given (including Conference Manager of the Year and Third Division Manager of the Year), all I cared about was the game against Plymouth!

    I had to shed a tear for Plymouth in our 3-0 home win!

    Van der Voom scored twice, both amazing runs, in the first half – prompting me to allow Zbimg to have a run in the second half – and Man of the Match Clifford scoring yet again in the second. But the abuse that both Zbimg and the Plymouth faithful got actually made you care – a little.

    But that was forgotten when the news broke that we had achieved play offs!

    In response?

    Niko: Fuck off!

    I wanted the title and the title is what I was going to get!

    However, the 0-2 away win against Cheltenham was less than happy, except for Clifford getting his tenth and Ximo getting his second of the season – Van der Voom had to limp off the field after taking a knock, which turned out to be a 2 week knee ligaments injury!

    Meaning that he would miss three games, which included a first versus second match against Doncaster! But, more importantly, it meant he would miss my 28th Birthday party!

    A celebration I would have shared with Hemphill, but by being a fucking traitor! Instead we decided to celebrate with loanee Jamie Bain!

    Dressed up as his namesake the celebrations were started off with a gig of my favourite artists and a lorry full of alcohol! With a famous girlfriend, which our relationship was on the ‘down-low’, the guests included many! One of which was Canadian Rapper Drake.

    As he stepped onto the stage and grabbed the microphone off Sahaj Ticotin from Ra, he started to introduce himself to the audience.

    Drake: Yo! My name is Drake, the only rapper from Canada!

    The crowd boo’d and hissed as the instrumental music started to fade.

    Drake: This is a little treat fo’ y’all! An extract from my latest single – ‘O’ Canada I Have Banged!’

    As the nasty synths got lost into the heavy-grinding beats, he started to rap.

    Drake: O’ Canada the glorious hoe,
    My dick has been in so many holes,
    So hard the Mounties be protecting,
    From the rags to the riches I have been perfecting,
    Bitches from Bombay to Toronto,
    Lining up wherever I go!
    My dick has been around so much it has a Golden Flight Pass,
    Can you say you fucked Ri-Ri’s ass?

    O’ Canada, I am so wooden you should call me Craig Forest,
    So sublime I make the girls m-

    As he was to finish the sentence, suddenly a bullet went flying through his head! As we turned, I was ecstatic to see the saviours – my good friends Archibald and Gregory!

    Niko: Wait, didn’t you guys like die and turn into Daft Orbital?
    Archibald: Well I say, sir that is the silliest thing I have ever heard!
    Gregory: Indeedibly! After killing and eating that awful ‘Corck’ band we had some bad taste in the back of our throats!
    Archibald: Sincerely I must agree! That blonde transsexual tasted like eating a piece of excrement!
    Gregory: Indeedibly! So we had to postpone our next adventure!
    Archibald: Dang right, Gregory!
    Gregory: Indeedibly, Archibald!

    They chuckled with each other as they grabbed the corpse only to be stopped by an annoying massive cunt.

    Kanye: Yo I’m happy for you and Imma gonna let you finish, but Justin Bieber had the best Canadian death of all time!

    As he said that, another guest emerged on-stage

    ……with a guitar and started to beat down the annoying massive cunt to death, as the crowd cheered on with every hit until he was no more.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! Taylor Swift killed the AMC!
    Crowd: AWESOME B!

    As Archibald and Gregory carried out the dead Canadian, Rage against the Machine suddenly appeared and, suitably, started to play ‘Bullet in the Head’! And soon, Kesha emerged with a private performance in the bedroom!

    And soon, the fireworks were lit!

    Two days later, it was time for the lads to give me their birthday present with a comfortable win over Bournemouth at the Boltsky Stadium. However that didn’t go to plan as without either Van der Voom or The Eejit, we fell to a 0-1 loss thanks to a single goal to a player I had a REAL keen eye on, Matt Tubbs. We were able to stay along for the ride thanks to some amazing saves from Marshall.

    It was even worse two days later as we lost 1-2 against Crawley away, despite the emergence of both Wato and The Eejit back into the side. Wato made his presence known with a late goal, but it was too little, too late by then.

    After two straight defeats, and the next game being against Doncaster I made a few changes. Liam and Jose Hernandez was brought back into the squad to help a form of defence to do well, and – regretfully – I was forced to include a player I didn’t want to start in Lorenzo ‘Judas’ Zbimg.

    What was occurring?

    A 3-0 thrashing!

    A team effort which ended with a Zbimg hat-trick, ensuring he could finish his last season with the club with 36 goals to his name! But, if it wasn’t for the sublime passing work of Mark Henderson on the left wing, Jose Hernandez heading from the set piece and the turbulent as well as determined run of the captain The Eejit, then those goals wouldn’t have come and neither would….

    Would the title!

    We had done it!

    By beating Doncaster we had established a ten point advantage over then second place Doncaster, which Colchester re-established for themselves, and making it unstoppable from getting us the third league title in three seasons!

    And the fans lapped it up as they sang my name in unison after the final whistle!

    But the celebration would have to wait for the last home game at the end of the season, and with the title already sealed I decided to take a risk for the last away game against Tranmere as promising striker Sean Walker started over Ryan Jarvis, Henrik Van der Voom, and Lorenzo Zbimg, which he said thanks by scoring the only goal of the game!

    For the last home game, it was an emotional experience. I had made my decision for the future and decided to field a team mixed with youngsters, first teamers, want-aways and the forgotten squad members.

    Shepard was in goal, Baz played at Left back, Hutchinson and Mullins in the middle of defense and Carvajal retained the right back position.

    The Eejit retained the captains arm band and his defensive midfielder role as youngsters Allan and Shane Robinson played in the central midfield role.

    Squad member Henderson played on the left winger as Ximo retained his right side, and the man of the season – Lorenzo Zbimg – was given a farewell match up-front.

    Marshall, Van der Voom, Yohan Betsch, Billy Knott and Liam made the bench for what would be the last game… of the season.

    For the third time I walked out of the tunnel as the master of an accomplishment in the league through the roaring cheers of the emotional and dedicated crowd that was so close to the taste of Premier League football. And for the first actual time, the press emerged with cameras adding more spectacular to the teams accomplishment in what was an extraordinary season of ups and downs.

    We felt so many challenges, with key players leaving voids in the team – with multiple occasions of indiscipline – and a personal journey that ended with redemption and closure. All I could was walked into the middle of the pitch, surrounding with the clapping players of both teams and looked around the stadium. It was then the emotion hit me truly, tears welt up. I screamed back to them all.

    Niko: Thank you! Thank you so much!

    In the emotion of it all, I nearly forgotten about the whole purpose of why I was here – for a thrilling game of football.

    And so it was as Henderson headed in Carvajal’s cross 26 minutes in – celebrating by running over to me and hugging me. Which was ruined as Thomas Pope equalised, but that was fixed in the second half with Allan scoring his first ever goal for the club.

    We had tested Speroni so many times, but he thwarted everyone including the 36 goalscorer Zbimg on three occasions. And as the whistle blew, we finally had our hands on the trophy.

    As the dodgy pop songs started to play in the back ground, I was enthralled by it all – hoping that I never forget this feeling!

    In my emotional state I was ushered to do an interview with SkySports.

    The journalist had many questions to ask, and even though once I would refuse to answer, I knew now would be the best time to talk.

    Journalist: Congratulations Niko! A third title in your third season, and only one more division holding you back from the glory of Premier League football! How does it feel knowing you are close?
    Niko: This euphoria is something I will never forget! The fans, the players – both of them was questioned a lot this season if we could continue another back-to-back title win, but we did!
    Journalist: After being knocked out of the cup competitions it must have been hard on you, but did you always believe this day could happen?
    Niko: Well, we lost a lot of what I would call the ‘core’ of this side. We came into the challenge with young and ambitious players, nobodies, and crafted them into a bunch of stars! I always believed that we could battle through; we have some dents here and there and lost a few good men – but hey, that is life!
    Journalist: Remarkably this isn’t the first time you have brought instant success to one of your clubs! Do you put this down to experience?
    Niko: I put this down to them! To the fans and players of Newark Athletic! All I did was put out a team to play and get all the attention.
    Journalist: You lost your captain Fraser Hemphill earlier in the season, who followed suit with star striker Kowalinho and defenders BobMem and Roddy Hoolihan. And there is reports that there is some that may follow suit! How did you overcome this? And, what is your plans to fix this problem in future?
    Niko: To do the job that I was hired.

    As I thought that would be all the questions, I was held back for one more question I was expecting.

    Journalist: Niko, what do you have to say to rumours that you are to leave in the summer? Are you going on a break? Is there any truth to the rumours? Are you retiring again?

    I smiled in response and chuckled in an emotional thought – as the words started to combine in my head, all I could do was one thing.

    I shrugged and walked off as the journalist was left dumbfounded with no answer, I re-joined the celebrations, hoping that everyone in the ground would remember this moment – this triumphant moment and day in the history of Newark Athletic.

    Of an era about to….

    All the crap:
    ************************************************************************************************ English Second Division - Sunday 9th May 2004 ************************************************************************************************ ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Table ================================================================================================ Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st C Newark 46 19 1 3 59 27 11 4 8 36 28 95 2nd P Colchester 46 16 3 4 51 27 10 4 9 45 47 85 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 3rd Pl Doncaster 46 14 6 3 42 23 10 5 8 36 28 83 4th Pl Gillingham 46 13 7 3 40 25 10 6 7 28 19 82 5th Pl Leicester 46 15 4 4 52 31 8 7 8 52 48 80 6th Pl Bristol Rovers 46 10 7 6 32 28 11 4 8 44 38 74 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7th Sheff Utd 46 14 4 5 46 28 6 7 10 33 41 71 8th Portsmouth 46 14 6 3 42 26 7 1 15 35 47 70 9th Port Vale 46 11 7 5 37 28 8 5 10 25 31 69 10th Coventry 46 10 6 7 34 26 8 4 11 28 33 64 11th Walsall 46 10 8 5 39 33 7 5 11 32 45 64 12th Bournemouth 46 11 7 5 40 24 6 5 12 34 42 63 13th Brighton 46 11 5 7 41 26 6 6 11 30 36 62 14th Crawley 46 11 3 9 33 33 6 7 10 25 28 61 15th Cheltenham 46 10 6 7 36 32 6 7 10 25 33 61 16th Leyton Orient 46 11 5 7 38 30 5 5 13 31 43 58 17th Scunthorpe 46 13 3 7 44 34 3 3 17 26 50 54 18th MK Dons 46 9 4 10 32 32 5 5 13 36 51 51 19th Plymouth 46 7 7 9 29 35 5 8 10 15 29 51 20th Notts Co 46 5 10 8 17 26 6 7 10 22 31 50 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 21st R Bury 46 9 3 11 29 36 5 3 15 22 47 48 22nd R Tranmere 46 10 2 11 38 42 3 6 14 22 42 47 23rd R Carlisle 46 10 4 9 42 45 3 3 17 27 47 46 24th R Brentford 46 8 4 11 28 33 4 5 14 21 37 45 ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Goals ================================================================================================ Pos Player Club Apps Gls ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Jermaine Beckford Leicester 45 36 2nd Rickie Lambert Sheff Utd 38 (1) 28 3rd Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 32 (2) 27 4th Lee Miller Carlisle 46 26 5th Matt Tubbs Bournemouth 44 26 6th Paul Hayes Brentford 43 22 7th Izale McLeod Portsmouth 46 22 8th Paddy Madden Notts Co 41 (1) 18 9th Craig Mackail-Smith Brighton 42 (1) 18 10th Billy Paynter Doncaster 41 18 11th Cody McDonald Gillingham 38 18 12th Elliot Richards Bristol Rovers 37 17 13th Davide Somma MK Dons 38 17 14th Michael Symes Leyton Orient 43 17 15th Andy King Leicester 45 17 16th Caolan Lavery Doncaster 31 (4) 16 17th Karl Hawley Scunthorpe 38 16 18th David Nugent Leicester 46 15 19th Febian Brandy Walsall 46 15 20th Derek Costello Colchester 18 (18) 15 21st Kery Kedze Cheltenham 31 (3) 15 22nd Christopher Scott Crawley 25 (17) 14 23rd Simeon Jackson Sheff Utd 37 14 24th Tom Pope Port Vale 46 14 25th Dave Mooney Leyton Orient 44 14 26th George Bowerman Walsall 44 14 27th Eddie Johnson Gillingham 44 (1) 13 28th Mike Grella Scunthorpe 46 13 29th Will Hoskins Brighton 46 13 30th Gary McSheffrey Coventry 32 (4) 13 ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Assists ================================================================================================ Pos Player Club Apps Asts ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Tom Soares Sheff Utd 43 15 2nd Liam Moore Leicester 36 15 3rd Matthew Taylor Leicester 46 14 4th Stephen Gleeson MK Dons 44 14 5th Eddy Wato Newark 39 14 6th Lee Miller Carlisle 46 13 7th Joe Thompson Tranmere 40 (4) 13 8th Craig Forsyth Coventry 31 (2) 13 9th Nicky Adams Leyton Orient 43 (1) 13 10th David Nugent Leicester 46 12 11th Gareth Evans Cheltenham 42 (2) 12 12th Martin Woods Doncaster 43 12 13th Matthew Hutchinson Bristol Rovers 37 (3) 12 14th Dean Whitehead Portsmouth 44 12 15th Keith Ward Colchester 34 11 16th David Prutton Scunthorpe 43 11 17th Ian Henderson Colchester 41 10 18th Darren Carter Cheltenham 46 10 19th Kyel Reid Bournemouth 36 10 20th Prince Buaben Leicester 46 10 21st Michael Doyle Sheff Utd 26 (5) 10 22nd David Worrall Bury 45 10 23rd Dave Syers Doncaster 45 10 24th Jason Banton MK Dons 16 (11) 10 25th David López Brighton 15 (14) 10 26th Haminu Dramani Walsall 34 (5) 9 27th Jim O'Brien Brighton 40 (2) 9 28th Enzo Maresca Brighton 44 9 29th Luke Chadwick MK Dons 40 9 30th Jon-Paul McGovern Carlisle 42 9 ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Average Rating ================================================================================================ Pos Player Club Apps Av R ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Jermaine Beckford Leicester 45 8.11 2nd Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 32 (2) 8.00 3rd Calum Davenport Leicester 46 7.72 4th Rob Jones Doncaster 40 (1) 7.71 5th Rickie Lambert Sheff Utd 38 (1) 7.67 6th Ismail Yakubu Cheltenham 42 7.67 7th Eddy Wato Newark 39 7.67 8th Davide Somma MK Dons 38 7.66 9th Lee Miller Carlisle 46 7.65 10th Izale McLeod Portsmouth 46 7.65 11th Scot Bennett Leyton Orient 46 7.59 12th David Marshall Newark 28 7.57 13th Michael Symes Leyton Orient 43 7.56 14th Karim El Ahmadi Portsmouth 40 7.55 15th Neill Collins Sheff Utd 37 7.54 16th Cody McDonald Gillingham 38 7.53 17th Tony Diagné Port Vale 43 7.51 18th Gabriel Badilla Brighton 36 (4) 7.50 19th Matt Tubbs Bournemouth 44 7.50 20th The Eejit Newark 30 7.50 21st David Mirfin Brighton 35 7.49 22nd Stéphane Zubar Bournemouth 28 (1) 7.48 23rd Ian Henderson Colchester 41 7.46 24th Elliot Richards Bristol Rovers 37 7.46 25th David Nugent Leicester 46 7.46 26th Gábor Gyepes Portsmouth 40 7.45 27th Pat Kanyuka Bristol Rovers 27 (2) 7.45 28th Andy Parrish Bournemouth 45 7.44 29th Scott McDonald Portsmouth 27 7.44 30th Gavin Massey Cardiff 27 7.44 ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Man of Match ================================================================================================ Pos Player Club Apps MoM ------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Lorenzo Zbimg Newark 32 (2) 10 2nd Rickie Lambert Sheff Utd 38 (1) 8 3rd Jermaine Beckford Leicester 45 8 4th Lee Miller Carlisle 46 7 5th Cody McDonald Gillingham 38 7 6th Christopher Scott Crawley 25 (17) 6 7th Rob Jones Doncaster 40 (1) 6 8th Keith Ward Colchester 34 6 9th Mike Edwards Plymouth 39 5 10th Elliot Richards Bristol Rovers 37 5 11th Izale McLeod Portsmouth 46 5 12th Martin Woods Doncaster 43 5 13th Dave Cotterill Portsmouth 30 (8) 5 14th Neill Collins Sheff Utd 37 4 15th Paddy Madden Notts Co 41 (1) 4 16th James Simmonds Walsall 21 (3) 4 17th Jonny Steele Colchester 25 (7) 4 18th Nathan Cameron Coventry 39 4 19th Will Hoskins Brighton 46 4 20th Brian Howard Bournemouth 41 4 21st David Nugent Leicester 46 4 22nd Gavin Massey Cardiff 27 4 23rd Danny Hutchins Brentford 43 (1) 4 24th Simeon Jackson Sheff Utd 37 4 25th Jake Howells Leyton Orient 29 (5) 4 26th Caolan Lavery Doncaster 31 (4) 4 27th Davide Somma MK Dons 38 4 28th Stephen Gleeson MK Dons 44 4 29th Karl Hawley Scunthorpe 38 4 30th Troy Deeney Portsmouth 15 4
    All the team stuff:
    ************************************************************************************************ Newark Athletic FC - Sunday 9th May 2004 ************************************************************************************************ ================================================================================================ Squad ================================================================================================ No Name Position(s) Nat Born Age Caps Gls Wages Expires Value ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 36 Allan, Andy M RLC SCO 19.6.85 18 - - £1.2K 9.5.08 £110K 37 Bain, Jamie D LC SCO 15.4.81 23 - - £1.1K 26.6.04 £600K 3 Baz D/M LC WAL 10.10.84 19 - - £8K 27.6.06 £160K 27 Betsch, Yohan DM RC FRA 16.2.76 28 - - £800 18.6.06 £375K 32 Boyle, Darren M RC SCO 24.8.86 17 - - £500 6.6.07 £110K - Brown, Alan D/M LC SCO 12.12.83 20 - - £65 2.6.07 £45K 33 Carvajal, Daniel D R ESP 11.1.81 23 - - £1.8K 14.5.07 £400K 20 Clayton, Mark DM C ENG 21.2.81 23 - - £4.1K 21.6.06 £90K 28 Clifford, Billy M C ENG 18.10.81 22 - - £9K 16.6.06 £525K - Cohen, Liam D L ENG 18.7.85 18 - - £65 9.6.07 £35K 23 Curtis, Ashley S C ENG 23.6.86 17 - - £325 4.6.06 £85K - Darlington, Kevin D R WAL 1.7.84 19 - - £65 2.6.07 £35K - Deane, Aaron S C ENG 13.11.85 18 - - £160 10.6.06 £40K - Dunn, Christian S C ENG 10.3.84 20 - - £325 10.6.07 £100K 13 Dupuis, Kevin S C FRA 14.1.76 28 - - £650 15.6.06 £250K 31 Fraser, Ryan AM L SCO 1.9.83 20 - - £500 1.6.09 £110K 26 Furman, Dean M C RSA 22.6.77 26 2 - £6.75K 18.6.05 £65K - Griffin, David D/M RC IRL 5.12.86 17 - - £190 10.6.06 £30K 6 Harriott, Matty M C ENG 23.9.81 22 - - £4.3K 14.6.06 £150K 2 Henderson, Mark D/AM RL ENG 25.5.86 17 - - £9.5K 1.6.07 £170K - Hodgson, Gareth AM L ENG 9.10.85 18 - - £65 10.6.07 £35K 35 Holland, Jack D C ENG 1.3.81 23 - - £2.9K 25.6.04 £625K 14 Hutchinson, Sam D RC ENG 3.8.78 25 - - £7.75K 28.6.05 £230K 18 Jarvis, Ryan S C ENG 11.7.75 28 - - £7.75K 11.6.06 £500K 12 Jose Hernandez D RLC MEX 28.1.85 19 - - £4.6K 24.6.04 £200K 21 Knott, Billy AM LC ENG 28.11.81 22 - - £1K 7.6.06 £450K - Lawless, Gary S C IRL 19.8.86 17 - - £375 9.6.06 £120K 11 Liam D RC IRL 26.9.85 18 - - £3.6K 10.5.09 £1M 5 Marshall, David GK SCO 5.3.74 30 5 - £5K 25.6.06 £500K 19 McLaughlin, Conor D R NIR 26.7.80 23 - - £5.75K 11.6.06 £150K 4 Mullins, Johnny D RC ENG 6.11.74 29 - - £2.6K 14.6.06 £210K 17 Nicholls, Alex AM/F RC ENG 9.12.76 27 - - £5.75K 28.6.05 £275K 29 O'Dowd, Colin D C IRL 25.1.85 19 - - £1.6K 7.6.07 £65K 7 Robinson, Shane DM RC IRL 17.12.73 30 - - £4.9K 9.6.06 £140K 30 Robinson, Simon M C ENG 20.12.86 17 - - £350 4.6.06 £50K - Salonen, Kim AM/F RC FIN 11.2.83 21 - - £2.4K 9.6.08 £60K 1 Shepard GK CAN 11.4.84 20 - - £2.1K 1.6.07 £1M 22 The Eejit DM C SCO 26.2.81 23 - - £4.5K 28.6.06 £575K 10 Van der Voom, Henrik F RLC NED 17.8.83 20 - - £9.5K 26.5.07 £160K 24 Vasily, Artur M C ENG 2.5.81 23 - - £6.25K 19.6.07 £525K 16 Walker, Sean S C ENG 21.2.85 19 - - £120 24.5.08 £170K 8 Wato, Eddy M RLC ENG 1.1.82 22 - - £8K 7.5.07 £210K - Williams, Gareth D C WAL 10.4.86 18 - - £65 9.6.07 £35K 34 Willis, Liam D RL ENG 21.5.82 21 - - £3.5K 15.5.10 £400K 15 Ximo AM R ESP 12.9.77 26 - - £5.5K 19.5.09 £475K 9 Zbimg, Lorenzo S C ITA 31.12.84 19 - - £7.75K 28.6.06 £1.5M ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Senior Club Stats ================================================================================================ No Name Apps Gls Con Pens Asts Yel Red MoM Av R -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 36 Allan, Andy 2 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.50 37 Bain, Jamie 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 3 Baz 27 0 0 0 3 0 0 0 6.85 27 Betsch, Yohan 5 (2) 0 0 0 1 3 1 0 6.71 32 Boyle, Darren 11 4 0 0 4 1 1 1 7.18 - Brown, Alan - - - - - - - - ---- 33 Carvajal, Daniel 17 0 0 0 6 3 0 1 7.47 20 Clayton, Mark 4 (2) 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 6.83 28 Clifford, Billy 37 (2) 10 0 0 10 3 0 3 7.18 - Cohen, Liam - - - - - - - - ---- 23 Curtis, Ashley 1 (1) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.00 - Darlington, Kevin - - - - - - - - ---- - Deane, Aaron - - - - - - - - ---- - Dunn, Christian - - - - - - - - ---- 13 Dupuis, Kevin 2 (6) 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.25 31 Fraser, Ryan 13 0 0 0 5 0 0 0 7.00 26 Furman, Dean 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- - Griffin, David - - - - - - - - ---- 6 Harriott, Matty 11 (1) 2 0 0 2 1 0 0 7.25 2 Henderson, Mark 24 (2) 6 0 1 (1) 3 2 0 0 7.08 - Hodgson, Gareth - - - - - - - - ---- 35 Holland, Jack 9 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 14 Hutchinson, Sam 7 (1) 0 0 0 2 1 0 0 6.88 18 Jarvis, Ryan 14 (9) 6 0 1 (1) 1 0 0 3 7.30 12 Jose Hernandez 43 1 0 0 3 2 0 0 6.98 21 Knott, Billy 13 (2) 2 0 0 3 1 0 2 7.00 - Lawless, Gary - - - - - - - - ---- 11 Liam 38 2 0 0 1 4 1 1 6.87 5 Marshall, David 36 0 34 0 0 1 2 3 7.44 19 McLaughlin, Conor 31 1 0 0 5 1 1 0 7.06 4 Mullins, Johnny 9 (3) 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 6.42 17 Nicholls, Alex 9 (2) 3 0 0 3 0 0 2 7.73 29 O'Dowd, Colin 5 (1) 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 7 Robinson, Shane 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 6.00 30 Robinson, Simon 2 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 - Salonen, Kim 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 ---- 1 Shepard 8 (2) 0 13 0 0 0 0 0 6.40 22 The Eejit 38 1 0 0 8 10 3 1 7.53 10 Van der Voom, Henrik 26 (6) 12 0 0 4 2 0 2 7.13 24 Vasily, Artur 3 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 7.00 16 Walker, Sean 1 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 9.00 8 Wato, Eddy 47 (1) 13 0 1 (0) 15 4 1 3 7.54 - Williams, Gareth - - - - - - - - ---- 34 Willis, Liam 16 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 7.31 15 Ximo 11 2 0 0 2 0 0 1 7.36 9 Zbimg, Lorenzo 41 (2) 36 0 0 4 2 0 12 7.95 ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Transfers ================================================================================================ Date Player In From Fee ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.6.03 Alan Brown Free Transfer Bos 3.6.03 Andrew Jenkins Free Transfer Bos 3.6.03 Kevin Darlington Free Transfer Bos 3.6.03 Ryan Williams Free Transfer Bos 3.6.03 Gareth Hodgson Free Transfer Bos 5.6.03 Anthony Williams Free Transfer Free 10.6.03 Kim Salonen Vejle BK £30K 11.6.03 Shane Robinson FC Haka £90K 12.6.03 Conor McLaughlin Fleetwood £120K 13.6.03 Gareth Williams Free Transfer Free 14.6.03 Liam Cohen Free Transfer Free 15.6.03 Matty Harriott Sheff Utd £18K p/x 15.6.03 Johnny Mullins Peterborough £65K 15.6.03 Ryan Jarvis Torquay £900K 24.6.03 Billy Knott Sunderland £875K 1.7.03 Kevin Dupuis Kortrijk Bos 1.7.03 Alex Nicholls Northampton Bos 21.7.03 Billy Clifford Free Transfer Free 26.8.03 David Marshall Cardiff £1.1M 12.11.03 Colin O'Dowd Stoke Loan 8.12.03 Colin O'Dowd Stoke £85K 3.1.04 Ryan Fraser Aberdeen £140K 7.1.04 Darren Boyle Dundee Utd £200K 11.1.04 Andy Allan Kilmarnock £200K 12.1.04 Jordan Hunt Weymouth Free 13.1.04 Craig Smith Free Transfer Free 13.1.04 Gary Barley Ware £5K 15.1.04 Daniel Carvajal Leverkusen £1.3M 19.1.04 Liam Willis Cardiff £1.6M 30.1.04 Sean Walker Free Transfer Free 20.2.04 Ximo Asteras Tripolis £500K 26.2.04 Jack Holland Crystal Palace Loan 28.2.04 Jamie Bain Ipswich Loan 2.3.04 Andy Johnson Northampton £150K 3.3.04 Tom Thomas Lincoln Utd £18K Date Player Out To Fee ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 3.6.03 Roddy Hoolihan Birmingham £1M 3.6.03 Kowalinho Ipswich £1.7M 10.6.03 Drew Talbot Released Free 12.6.03 BobMem Liverpool £95K 15.6.03 Terrance Zannit Sheff Utd Exch 30.6.03 Volkan Ediz Released Free 8.10.03 Diarmuid O'Toibín Millwall £1.9M 2.12.03 Fraser Hemphill Sunderland £5M 30.1.04 Ryan Howarth Released Free 20.2.04 Dean Moxey Released Free 20.2.04 Patrick Bamford Released Free 28.2.04 Ryan Williams Released Free 28.2.04 Steve Webb Released Free 26.3.04 Ross Atkins Coventry £95K 18.4.04 James Hanson Released Free 18.4.04 Andrew Jenkins Released Free ================================================================================================ 2003/4 Fixtures ================================================================================================ Date Opposition Ven Competition Res Attend Scorers ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 24.7.03 Blackpool H Friendly 2:2 10494 Hemphill, Wato 9.8.03 Leyton Orient H Second Division 3:2 10741 Clifford, Zbimg 2 16.8.03 Brighton A Second Division 1:2 19603 Zbimg 19.8.03 Barnsley H League Cup 1st Rnd 5:1 4501 B.Clifford 2, Moxey, McLaughlin, Jose Hernandez 23.8.03 Portsmouth H Second Division 3:0 11781 Hemphill, Zbimg, Wato 25.8.03 Coventry A Second Division 2:1 13186 Hemphill, J.Clarke og 30.8.03 Scunthorpe A Second Division 0:2 6806 6.9.03 Carlisle H Second Division 4:2 8235 Wato 2, Liam, Harriott 10.9.03 Brentford A Second Division 1:0 8920 Liam 13.9.03 Colchester H Second Division 6:4 7876 Wato 2, Zbimg 2, Harriott, Van der Voom 17.9.03 Oldham H League Cup 2nd Rnd 4:3 4224 Wato, Hemphill 3 20.9.03 Bury A Second Division 2:0 7439 Hemphill, Zbimg 27.9.03 Bristol Rovers H Second Division 1:2 11627 Henderson 4.10.03 Sheff Utd A Second Division 1:3 21550 Van der Voom 11.10.03 Walsall H Second Division 1:1 10668 Jarvis 14.10.03 Gillingham A Second Division 1:2 11569 Jarvis pen 18.10.03 Leicester H Second Division 3:0 11789 Wato, Zbimg, Van der Voom 21.10.03 Notts Co A Second Division 3:0 10732 Clifford, Knott, Zbimg 25.10.03 MK Dons H Second Division 3:2 10899 Wato, Zbimg 2 29.10.03 Leeds A League Cup 3rd Rnd 2:1 8720 Zbimg 2 1.11.03 Doncaster A Second Division 0:0 12504 8.11.03 Cheltenham H Second Division 1:0 9830 Zbimg 15.11.03 Barnet H FA Cup 1st Rnd 1:0 2963 Zbimg 19.11.03 Wigan A League Cup 4th Rnd 1:1 6796 Zbimg 22.11.03 Crawley H Second Division 3:2 8904 Zbimg 2, Hemphill 29.11.03 Port Vale A Second Division 1:3 8643 Hemphill 6.12.03 Bishop's Stortford A FA Cup 2nd Rnd 3:0 3095 Nicholls, The Eejit, O'Dowd 10.12.03 Arsenal A League Cup Qtr Final 0:0 54233 13.12.03 Bournemouth A Second Division 0:3 7546 20.12.03 Leyton Orient A Second Division 1:2 5800 Henderson 27.12.03 Brighton H Second Division 1:0 10685 Dupuis 30.12.03 Portsmouth A Second Division 3:0 16997 Jarvis, Nicholls, Knott 3.1.04 Fulham A FA Cup 3rd Rnd 0:2 7907 7.1.04 Plymouth A Second Division 0:0 8486 10.1.04 Scunthorpe H Second Division 3:2 10825 Zbimg 3 13.1.04 Shrewsbury A Vans Trophy North 2nd Rnd 4:5 1547 Zbimg 4 17.1.04 Carlisle A Second Division 3:1 11087 Zbimg, Boyle 2 21.1.04 Coventry H Second Division 3:1 11777 M.Henderson, Zbimg, Wato 28.1.04 West Ham A League Cup Semi Final Leg 1 1:4 27613 Zbimg 31.1.04 Brentford H Second Division 4:1 10732 Jarvis 3, Henderson pen 4.2.04 Tranmere H Second Division 3:2 11212 Boyle, Van der Voom, Dupuis 7.2.04 Colchester A Second Division 2:2 8908 Zbimg 2 14.2.04 Bury H Second Division 0:2 7704 18.2.04 West Ham H League Cup Semi Final Leg 2 0:1 11800 21.2.04 Sheff Utd H Second Division 3:0 11395 Henderson, Wato, Zbimg 25.2.04 Bristol Rovers A Second Division 4:1 11892 Zbimg 2, Nicholls, Boyle 6.3.04 Walsall A Second Division 0:0 7150 10.3.04 Gillingham H Second Division 3:1 10600 Clifford, Van der Voom 2 13.3.04 MK Dons A Second Division 2:0 6133 Clifford, Van der Voom 16.3.04 Notts Co H Second Division 3:1 11455 Wato 2, Van der Voom 27.3.04 Leicester A Second Division 5:4 19093 Van der Voom 2, Clifford 2, Ximo 3.4.04 Plymouth H Second Division 3:0 11275 Van der Voom 2, Clifford 10.4.04 Cheltenham A Second Division 2:0 7048 Ximo, Clifford 17.4.04 Bournemouth H Second Division 0:1 9543 19.4.04 Crawley A Second Division 1:2 4967 Wato 24.4.04 Doncaster H Second Division 3:0 11275 Zbimg 3 1.5.04 Tranmere A Second Division 1:0 11163 Walker 9.5.04 Port Vale H Second Division 2:1 10903 Henderson, Allan

  10. #410

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

  11. #411

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    The world of Zan has become remarkably normal since the fall of Phetrology, although it does appear that Nico's violent off-field life has moved onfield. (BTW. That red card for the late tackle was totally unjustified ..... I got there as early as I could !)

    Congrats on the league title. Are we going to see another season ? Will we have a new global terror to thwart before they achieve their world domination goal ?

    Lynx man of the year .... I can live with that, but it will probably be a reduction in my pulling power.
    Taylor Swift killing the AMC ..... Could we not have for once the AMC killing Taylor Swift ?
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  12. #412

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Post-Season Review

    It’s that time of year again!

    It’s the post-season Review, this time with Board Director Toshio Minamoto!

    Minamoto has been a rather silent member of the Newark Athletic hierarchy, but due to the success that the team has just had, he welcomed us to see his views on the best players of the season!

    Season Awards

    Player of the Season Award
    The Eejit

    Toshio: “Butcher do good as captain and will be big part of next season surely!”

    Young Player of the Season Award

    Darren Boyle

    Toshio: “Despite coming in late, he made his mark felt on the team! Bright future!”

    Most Improved Player of the Season Award
    Mark Henderson

    Toshio: “He is constantly improving over the years! Big player! Bright future!”

    Team Member of the Season Award

    Eddy Wato

    Toshio: “Scored vital goals, made lots of goals! Midfield maestro!”

    Despite having a lot of stick for his public outcry for a move away from the Boltsky Stadium, Lorenzo Zbimg is still loved by the fans as he is named Fans Player of the Season for a third consecutive season – though is likely to be his last.

    Eddy Wato was also the only Newark Athletic player named in the English Players’ Team of the Year.

    Where are They Now?

    Due to the number of core members from our first season moving onward, this year debuts the first ever ‘Where are They Now?’ issue. In this we get a summary of the former Fearless Warriors careers after leaving the Boltsky Stadium.

    Hannu Sulonen

    The first player sold for £500k to Portsmouth, Hannu (a former midfielder with Bergstrom at THES Sport) has since continued his development, impressing Bergstrom enough to offer to bids for the former warrior – which was denied due to the importance that Portsmouth thought of him.

    He has played for the Finnish B Team, even though he has struggled to break into the first team.

    John Wood

    Used harshly in his season here, the goalkeeper moved for £500k to Leeds United where he has fully established himself as the number one keeper at Elland Road playing 52 games and helping them earn promotion into the Premier League.

    Roddy Hoolihan

    A former centre-back giant with BobMem, the Boltsky vocal were shocked after his £1 million transfer to Birmingham last year. After a successive season in the Premier League, Hoolihan is now played one game for the Republic of Ireland as he carries seems destined for greater things.


    After a season in which he had numerous headlines, the killer-fox in the box wanted to face the limelight – which he certainly didn’t get at Ipswhich. After being left in the reserves, Kowalinho soon got his chance – on the left wing – before impressing and earning a role in the middle.

    In 32 games, he scored 9 goals and 1 assist – but with Ipswich being promoted, he will now get the chance to taste the limelight he wanted so much!


    After Hoolihan left the club, BobMem started to also want to taste the same limelight as his contract was coming to an end. After rejecting numerous contracts offers from Newark and other teams, he eventually agreed to sign with Premier League giants Liverpool – with Newark getting only £95k from compensation.

    Though only amounting 19 games , he seems for stardom as he now has 4 caps for Cyrus under his belt.

    Diarmund O’Toibin

    An offer too good to refuse for a bad in-form winger, O’Toibin sealed £1.9 million move to Millwall in the First Division. It seems as he moved so did his bad form as he played 38 games but could only manage a 6.74 average.

    Volkan Ediz

    After being released due to Work Permit issues and hefty positional challenging, Ediz was left untouched for a while until agreeing to move to the USA with FC Dallas. Though Bergstrom did contemplate signing him once more, it seems he has settled in well in his home country – though form wise, he hasn’t done well.

    And Finally, the most controversial moves so far…

    Fraser Hemphill

    After holding up the Vans Trophy, Third Division and Conference titles as captain Hemphill was also the highest regarded player in Newark Athletic FC. His threat on the right wing helped with vital goals in dry spells, and trademark crosses and celebrations. Once seen as the face of the club, he was the highest earner at the club before his departure. The local boy showed no signs of problems within the club until a meeting with a certain player who we can’t name due to legal reasons.

    After hassling around for time, Bergstrom finally through in the gauntlet by putting a £5 million bounty on his head, which was won by Sunderland. After becoming a rock star at Boltsky, then a traitor – he has now become a joke as he is rarely used and is left in the reserves for the majority of the season.

    That was it all for this season Postseason Review, hope you enjoyed it – and stay tuned for any more Fearless Warriors News!

  13. #413

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    Ribble Valley
    God I'm good !
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  14. #414

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    Nothing, England
    Hopefully four chapters and the post-season review in two days will make do with the delay that occurred.

    Will explain whats happening with Niko later on. I know the Where are they now is short, but really hasn't been that long and no-one really has done anything exceptional as of yet.

    Stay tuned,

  15. #415

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Police Called to Bergstrom House Hold

    Date Created: Monday 31st May 2004

    Police cars was alerted to Newark Athletic manager’s home after a large group of fans pleaded for the boss to remain at the club after rumours emerged of his possible resignation from within the club and social media.

    Bergstrom, 28, has been in charge of the Fearless Warriors for the past three years after a two year absence, in which he has brought three consecutive titles and the Vans Trophy. But the latest talk around the club was that after an emotional personal life crisis and a disagreement with Chairman Yermolai Relikovic could mean the end of his tenure as manager.

    “It is a well-known fact that Bergstrom has had a history with bad relationships with chairmen and his personal life getting involved with his professional life – but we want to help him through this!” Said head of the group of fans, Barry-Allison Bentley, “He has started something incredible, and we want to see the man who started it to finish it!”

    Fans are pleading for rumours not to be true

    But the large group seemed to agitate the Croatian as police arrived at the house hold just shy of 1 hour after the group arrived.

    “We had received noise complaints and trespassing from an anonymous caller,” said the Spokeswoman of the Nottinghamshire Police. “We cannot confirm nor deny that Mr Bergstrom was the person who called in.”

    The fan favourite overcame a possible negative season as he saw his side crash out in all cup competitions earlier than expected – including failing to retain the Vans Trophy – and exhaustion is being rumoured as another possible reason for his resignation.

    “The club will not make comment on anything based on hearsay or from unofficial members of the football club on the future employment of Mr Bergstrom,” the club released. “We do not condone our emotional fans to allow such non-factual stories to evoke any disdain towards their club or Mr Bergstrom. We also want to make clear that any information regarding the club will be revealed to our fans when they is anything to report.”

    Bergstrom recently led Neark to a historic Third title

    There has been enough evidence that maybe Bergstrom is ready to leave Newark Athletic after gaining a new fandom due to his successes. He has the third best record of wins to games in the world, only behind Spanish giants Barcelona and Real Madrid; plus he is tied third best manager on his league exploits, as well as having the most Managerial awards after winning the Second Division Manager of the Year at the end of the season.

    “We know he may want to leave due to how well he has done, but we need him! His interview with SkySports gave a vague idea that he seemed ready to leave, and so we wanted him to know he is still needed here!” Added Bentley, “There is few managers like him that could deal with the chairman’s personality and bite one back!”

    The chairman, media mogul billionaire Relikovic, 54, has been well known for wanting his team to win the Premier League and Champions League in the same manner his friend, oligarch Roman Ambramovich has with Chelsea.

    Could tension with the Chairman be why Niko wants out?

    But this ambition has also included what most seemed to be as over-zealous expectations for domestic cup success.

    “We love how ambitious Yermolai is, and so is Niko, but there has to come a time where we need to rework the team after loosing so many players – and Niko started that last season with young signings!”
    As the reports mount up, there is only a few things still clear in the eyes of hopeful fans: Niko still has 1 year left on his contract, he has never left the club by choice when starting from a low league, and finally, that it is also reported that Yermolai has personally arranged a meeting between himself and Niko to talk about the future.

    Only time will tell how long the era of Niko Bergstrom can go.

  16. #416

    Join Date
    Great season once again, and nice recap. Some former players are really impressive. Hopefully you can hang onto Lorenzo one more year. the little bastard is a scoring machine!

  17. #417

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    Ribble Valley
    Niko must stay. If he doesn't, I think that I will be sleeping on the street, which is no place to set up a marmalade bath with Pixie Lotte
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  18. #418

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Bergstrom’s Signs on the Dotted Line!

    Date Created: Friday 4th June 2004

    Newark Athletic Football Club are proud to announce that after intense negotiations with manager Niko Bergstrom, that he has agreed to a two year extension onto his current contract that was to expire at the end of the new season!

    Mr Bergstrom was surrounded with rumours of possibly leaving the Boltsky Stadium after achieving his third title with the club, but the 28-year-old is happy to debunk those rumours and is proud to announce his intention to focus his future to the club.

    “After such a brilliant season it would have been stupid of me to say goodbye so early to this brilliant club without making the contribution I agreed to three years ago! I promised to myself, to the fans and to the club that I would take this club into the Premier League, and that is my goal.”

    Bergstrom had been rebuilding the squad throughout the last months of last season, which he is keen to carry on.

    “With a new level of challenge, we need to build a new team. I have been reassured by Mr Relikovic I would be allowed to sign one player over £1 million, and the rest of the possible transfers to do as I see fit if: firstly, they cost less £1 million and secondly, that enough money would be earned from players leaving the squad.”

    Added to the news of Mr Bergstrom’s dedication toe the club, the club would also like to announce the preseason fixtures before the start of the season starting with a preseason cup named especially after the manager: the Nikolavski Cup.

    The full fixtures include Bergstroms former club THES Sport, former Newark striker Kowalinho’s Premier League side Ipswich, former Newark captain Fraser Hemphill’s Premier League side Sunderland, Second Division Chesterfield, Premier League West Brom, Premier League side Everton and Second Division side Plymouth.

    In response Mr Bergstrom said: “ By facing Premier Leagues as soon as possible, it will encourage and motivate the squad for when we finally get to the promise land. Of course, by the end of the season we will be celebrating once more.”

    Preseason Fixtures

    Nikolavski Cup
    Wednesday 30th June 2004 – Newark Athletic vs. Ipswich
    Thursday 1st July 2004 – Newark Athletic vs. TBD

    Thursday 15th July 2004 – Chesterfield vs. Newark Athletic
    Sunday 18th July 2004 – Newark Athletic vs. West Brom
    Wednesday 21st July 2004 – Newark Athletic vs. Everton
    Friday 23rd July 2004 – Plymouth vs. Newark Athletic

  19. #419

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    Brilliant collection of updates. The where are they now bit was just right, with enough detail but not being too long.

    Pleased with 4 caps and 19 games for the scousers. Hopefully established in the first team now.

    Last edited by BobMem; 16-07-14 at 04:11 PM.

  20. #420

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    Kraków, Poland
    Hopefully to score in our friendly match

  21. #421

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    Nothing, England
    Quote Originally Posted by The Eejit View Post
    Niko must stay. If he doesn't, I think that I will be sleeping on the street, which is no place to set up a marmalade bath with Pixie Lotte
    you moved out in the second season

    The house is now Niko and Kesha's sex pad

  22. #422

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    Regrouping for the Battle – Chapter 1

    After signing the two year extension to my contract, I knew that these were the true three years that would either make or break my career. Thankfully, after a stern talking with Yermolai I was allowed to have full reign over the team – on the condition that changes had to be made.

    And what happened?

    Was an exodus!

    In under a few weeks Ross Aitkens left to Coventry for £95k, Andrew Jenkins and James Hanson was released, Yohan Betsch was sold to Senegal side Jeanne d’Arc for £375k, Shepard left for Charlton for another £375k, Matty Harriot left for Bristol Rovers for £150k.

    Total amount earned so far: £995k

    Another four players were released (Gareth Hodgson, Kim Salonen, Dean Furman and Sam Hutchinson) which even though would cost the club a large amount of money in compensation, the amount of wages cut would help in the long run.

    Next was Liam to Derby for £500k, Simon Robinson to Sheffield Wednesday for another easy £500k, Jose Hernandez left on a bosman back to Mexico with Queretaro, and Johny Mullions was sold for £100k to Rochdale.

    Total amount earned: £2.95 million

    Coming in was: Matthew Briggs from Fulham on bosman, Gary Stewart from Celtic for £18k, Jordan Orr for £230k from Derby, Fabrizio Cacciatore for £210k from Compostela, and Matt Tubbs on a bosman move from Bournemouth.

    Total amount spent: £458k

    On the eve of the first game of the ‘Nikolavski Cup’ more signings joined as Roderick Miranda joined for £250k from Vit. Setubal, as well as trialists Rueben Noble-Lazarus, Lee Sawyer and Keanu Marsh-Brown who started the game. We aligned up with the game with a majority of first team from last season alongside the trialists who played up-front, in centre midfield and right-back.

    And despite the intrigue of the fans, Kowalinho was not in the starting eleven nor on the bench as we walked out – dragging onto a 1-1 draw thanks to an equaliser from Wato. With knackered legs we were able to seal the win on penalties as the score was 4-2.

    In the final we faced Sunderland, who took the mockery of the piss poor THES Sport (with Hemphill scoring one of the 3 goals in a hostile atmosphere) and would play about 61 minutes as the much energised and fit Sunderland squad scored twice in extra-time to win the fake cup. Both goalscorers came off the bench to score as our team looked like a bunch of American fast food tasters!

    With 14 days away till the next game, it gave the lads a well-earned rest and five more people to go and pack their bags.

    The five were: £625k for Billy Knott, £70k for Shane Robinson, £45k for David Griffin, £100k for Kevin Dupuis, and £180k for Artur Vasily – earning a whopping £1.2 million for basic reserve players.

    Total amount earned: £4.15 million

    We also added: David Tait for £100k, David Cornell on bosman and Rueben-Lazarus for free.

    Total spent: £558k

    Against Chesterfield it was the same first eleven from last season plus the defence of Briggs and Miranda and Matt Tubs playing up-front, which added nothing!
    But with the introduction of Van der Voom in the second half, we rounded off a perfect performance with a flashy 3-0 away win with a Van der Voom brace and a nice headed goal from Miranda.

    Only one player came in as former Chlesea youngster Archange Nkumu came in on a free, and played as a sub in the 1-1 draw against West Brom thanks to a nice first half goal from youngster Sean Walker. Cornell impressed with his first outing as goalkeeper as Miranda carried on his good defensive performance.

    Despite interest some of the transfer listed players didn’t seemed to be bidded on with stars like Jarvis, Zbimg, and Billy Clifford waited for their transfers out – which made the Everton game a lot more miserable.

    A bore draw, but a thrilling defensive showing from young defender Briggs, and with the last game, the team was exhausted and shockingly lost 0-1 to Third Division Plymouth showed how much the team had worked.

    We were then drawn into the First Round of the League Cup, a cup I wanted to win before the end of my contract, maybe this could be the year?


    An easy opponent from the Third Division, though we still had to be wary of Carl Fletcher and his men, as we already tasted the sting of an up-set in a Cup earlier in the year.

    More were recruited into the team as I tried to add more depth into areas that I felt we need to enhance. Zeli Ismali from Wolves and Ryan Hall from Third Division side Southend came in for a combined £1.25 million, creating a nice thick fodder for the wings, but I still searched for a first choice left-winger – feeling that youngster Ryan Fraser would have the ability at the moment to coherently add as much threat. Tibor Cica also joined to add more depth in the centre of the midfield with Clifford looking set to leave, and £525k the 21 year old looked like a steal!

    It felt like happy times as the squad was being moulded until Ipswich bidded a £2.5 million offer for Mark Henderson out of the blue! The young winger maestro had a release clause in his contract that I had completely forgotten about – and despite offering him an improved contract, Henderson became another casualty of the Preimer League vultures!

    In retaliation, I signed the one played I could get for over £1 million – a left winger that I felt would add enough to the team to get us firing up to the top of the table!

    Franco cost me £1.6 million from Italian club Palermo, and looked set to be a key player in what would be a fight against those who stole our Warriors! And now, we will avenge their fallen dignity in a long war!

    Total Players In

    Total Players Out

  23. #423

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The Fame – Chapter Two

    After the terrific season we had last year, and from the drama that arouse from the whole ‘resignation’ rumour, a lot of media attention came our way, especially towards me!

    As even as I walked out of my home to grab the mail from the mail-box just a few centimetres from my front door, I was hounded by the parasites looking for an exclusive scoop.

    And with a secret relationship on the cards, it caused a little tension to the longest REAL relationship that I had in a long while with Kesha.

    Niko: Fucking paps are outside!

    I said as I walked into the kitchen, as Kesha drank he morning coffee.

    Niko: What is with these sick people?
    Kesha: It’s only going to get worse….

    As she said that, we decided to come to a conclusion, Kesha would no longer live here as long as paparazzi hounded me, and instead would go back to LA to finish off her latest album and then start her tour – meeting up whenever she was back in England. But my house wasn’t the only place bombarded by the fame, with the training ground also another target of the apocalyptic excrement ridden insects, as they hindered my car as I trained to enter the facility.

    Crawling through the crowd of vultures, I was able to watch as the new crowd got ready for the start of the season – just a few days shy. After watching Lorenzo still putting his all in at training, with no exceptional interest from any of the clubs, I decided that he would play up-front for the season opener.

    Marshall, Eejit, Carvajal, Wato and Liam Willis would retain the positions they had established last season, as Matthew Briggs and Roderick Miranda would start as the new first choice centre backs, Croatian Tibor Cica would play along-side Wato, Franco Vazquez played on the left wing and Zeli Ismail would play on the right wing.

    As for the subs, only two of the players would have already played for the club before as: David Cornell was back-up goalkeeper, Fabrizio Cacciatore (known now as Fabzio Cacatore) as the versatile defender, Ryan Hall was the pacy winger, Henrik Van der Voom was the Super-Sub, and Mark Clayton was the safe choice.

    But during the break, Joel Power came up to me.

    Niko: Alright Joel? You kind of look less – Powerful!
    Power: I am kind f concerned that we will get whooped, I mean some of these lads are new to the division! Some can’t talk English, some are not fitness ready – I am kind of concerned for you. I mean, I saw the crowd of paparazzi that came to get a picture of you, instead of the Perfect One – aka me – and I don’t think you can handle that pressure!
    Niko: Fuck off! I can deal with a little fucking media attention thank you very much!

    I said as I bit into my lunch, Joel shaking his head as he saw my cheese burger with bacon, chicken nuggets and fries.

    Power: You eat so much crap, smoke and don’t even exercise – how the hell are you in such good shape? Hell, how haven’t you had a heart attack or stroke? It’s like you’re super-human or something!
    Niko: Guess I am kind of gifted!

    I said smiling, as the ketchup from my burger landed onto my lap. As Joel walked away in dismay, I wiped off the mess with a sudden muscle pain emerged.

    Niko: That’s odd…

    I said, knowing that maybe I should get to the gym soon and work more on my muscles.

    Niko: Maybe I can get a modelling gig after toning up some more.

    As I made plans for signing to a gym membership, I threw away the near-full meal into the bin and got ready for the evening training session.

    But would the training work, would Joel be right?

    Well of course not!

    We had picked up from where we had left off last season – in title winning form!

    A 4-0 home win (The Eejit ’27, Cica ’36, Zbimg ’53 ’83) over Sheffield Wednesday was the start off an amazing winning streak as the team progressed more and more into a unit! With wins from an away 1-4 drubbing of Bolton (Zbimg ’24, Cica ’52 ’59, Wato ’87), to a comfortable 1-3 away win (Van der Voom’35, Zbimg ’45, Willis ’56) in the League Cup against Aldershot – which seemed unbeatable!

    And even when the second Round of the League cup was announced, I was still comfortable:

    Everton, the same team we was to stagnate without fully knowing our best eleven, would know feel the full force of the team that looked set to be score galore. Of course my confidence in the team grew as did the results.

    With the end of the of August we were undefeated, and scored 18 goals in only 5 games, 7 of which was accounted to Zbimg alone! Cica also impressed with 5 goals in his debut season more than likely justifying his £525k move, and looked he more possible to impress!

    And the accolades would go would go for myself for August as Manager of the Month, Zbimg for Young Player of the Month and Cica for Player of the Month – triple accolades for the Newark men!

    For the first game of Ismail and Briggs was dropped for Van der Voom and Jordan Orr, who had just recently signed from Wigan, and was involded with Middlesbrough 3-0 away win, but it was Zbimg who took the headlines with a terrific hattrick!

    In a rather boring 1-1 draw at home against Doncaster, we showed a possible issue with the team as Zbimg was rested for Van der Voom to take the striker mantel and Ryan Hall got his debut – however the only goal was from the captain The Eejit, who had been a Godsend after his initial shaky debut season 3 year ago.

    The next game was against also promoted side Colchester, in which in the last two meeting resulted in some dramatic matches:

    But this was more like a conventional result then an dramatic or interesting one as the lads once again scored the amount of goals that looked like the norm so far this season. 4 goals against 1, Colchester was humiliated as it wasn’t a single player take the limelight but a whole team effort. Van der Voom on the 32nd minute, Cica in the 51st minute, Ximo on the 67th minute and Wato ended the rout on the 81st minute to give the game the applaudence it deserved!

    But it was semi-shaken as news spread of an knock that Marshall had taken in the game resulted in a lengthy injury to our first choice goalkeeper:

    So 16 year old Dave Tait was on the bench as David Cornell would replace the injured David Marshalls – it then struck it seemed I had a fetish for goalkeepers with the name of Dave. As I shook off the image of a pair of goalkeeper gloves laying on the floor, it was down to the game.

    After David Moyes (yet another Dave!) leaving the club for Arsenal, which he got sacked from in June after two years, Mark Hughes was the replacement and has achieved a 6th and 4th position in the Premier League in his two years of management, but hasn’t been able to do well in the domestic cups. Hoping that by playing at home, as well as the impressive 4-1 win, we could take the momentum behind us and seal a solid victory.

    The Everton fans were loud and fully behind the team for an easy win against us, which nearly came good as Oviedo tested Cornell in the first five minutes. Two minutes later we recorded out first decent chance of the game as Cica’s volley struck against the cross bar, the home fans squealing out in agony as they thought the midfielder could add to his impressive tally.

    But three minutes later, The Eejit lofted the perfect ball forward for Vazquez to slot in to give us the lead after only ten minutes played!


    The former Palmero man celebrated with his famous grabbing of the ears, as the fans sang in jubilation. Chances came closer and closer for both sets of teams as the half drew on, but neither team could break the mesh of the net.

    After half-an-hour of the first goal, we had another break.

    Ximo did a devasting curling ball into the far ball as Tibor Cica ran to chase for another chance! He jumped in the air and….

    Head it in!

    2-0 with five minutes left of the half!

    The player was ecstatic, the fans were ectastic, I was ecstatic, and if I had a Nan, she would be!

    A shock 2-0 as the whistle blew, with Everton looking for a miracle to get back into the game after the stubborn defence and the wall of Cornell in front of goal!

    As the lads came into the locker-room, the talk was simple.

    Niko: Hold the fuck on, and we have won!

    I screamed as they walked back onto the pitch with the instructions ringing in their heads. By they did the opposite!

    Cica had another chance squandered, Wato with another one saved: this side want more goals, and Everton looked like headless chickens! The supposed ‘Premier League’ team was playing like shambles and didn’t know how to deal with this sort of play! But, they got luckier as the chances came, as either Mucha saved them or they went wide.

    The man was the only thing keeping them within a chance of Hell to somehow get back into, but they just couldn’t!

    As so came a sort of circle – we wanted to score but they defended, and they defended but wanted to score. And in the end the whistle was blown and we were through to the next round of the League Cup!

    The stats of the game showed our dominance we had throughout both halves – giving them only 2 shots on goal and the ultimate message to the Premier League was sent, ‘We are on our way, and ready to cause a fucking storm!’

    If some stupid people thought that our cup run could damage our league form, then they are what they thought!

    Days afterwards, the form continued with a 5-1 home win against Derby (Zbimg ’27 ’31 ’75, Cica ’45, Vazquez ’75), and another 4-1 home win against Swansea (Zbimg ’22 ’89, Willis ’25, Orr ’64) to end September as undefeated, once more we were in the accolades.

    I won the Manager of the Month for the second time in a row and Lorenzo Zbimg won Player of the Month, at the same time that the League Cup 3rd draw occurred with us facing:

    Manchester United. At Old Trafford.

    It seemed that we would finally face a more harder task, as we faced Jurgen Klogg’s men, they were fighting for the Tottenham’s title and I hoped that due to that intensity they would either be tired or play the youth team – making it considerably easier for us to win.

    BUT, that wasn’t the only news we received that day as the latest twist in the Zbimg saga came around:

    Despite numerous contracts offers that he had rejected before, and the interest of other teams, it seemed like that the club’s top goal scorer of all time was going to leave for about half the price I wanted him to – valued £1.6 million by others. Shrugging it off, I decided instead to turn my attention towards the next month of results.

    We started the month with a close shave as Aston Villa earned a point in an away 2-3 win (Ximo ’20, Orr ’90, Zbimg ’90), but thanks to the late goals, we kept our undefeated streak going – despite only able to convert 3 goals from a total 23 chances!

    More twists arrived on the desk as a contract was offered to Zbimg:

    Moving to Brazil wouldn’t be the ideal move I would go for, but seeing as they are the only team willing to take a punt at him, at least they were a big team in their contry.

    And on the eve of the Millwall game, and only four days since the contract was offered, it was confirmed:

    Leaving in December did offer me a problem, and thus I decided to offer a firm chance to Matt Tubbs, the man I had signed after a gracious 32 goals scored last season – and speaking of former goal scoring strikers I had signed on assumption, I was finally able to sell Ryan Jarvis for £500k as he left for Colchester – knowing it might bite me on the ass the next time we met, I knew it was just a part of the game!

    And Tubbs didn’t disappoint!

    As in the 3-0 home win, it was Tubbs brace and a fortunate own goal, that allowed us to carry on amazing form and add more to the title that we wanted so much!

    But despite his good performance, I just wanted to allow Zbimg to break the goals he needed to reach 100 leagues goals for the club before he left, and he certainly helped 6-1 away thrashing of local-rivals Nottingham Forest!

    But we then were finally defeated by Hull at home, in a gruelling game that we couldn’t get back into, despite trying!

    Even worse that it was at home, it was a shocker of a performance from Cornell who I didn’t want to be replaced by the inexperienced Tait, and instead I had cross my fingers and hoped that the team could bounce back – which they so nearly did!

    Thankfully, Marshall returned just in time for the 4-0 away win against Wigan (Zbimg ’25 ’32 ’61, Wato ’63) and Zbimg scored his 19th, 20th and 21st of the season – which he added to with the 4-0 drubbing of Barnsley at home (Ximo ’34, The Eejit ’54, Zbimg ’74, Wato ’84) but not in the last game of October, as we beat 10-man Burnley away 2-1 (Cica pen 28, Orr ’80) to which came with…

    Another Manager of the Month award for me and Player of the Month for Zbimg as well as the potential oppenents for the 4th Round of the League cup:

    Yeovil would be the easiest option, though just seven days after the Manchester United game – it would be a more reserve/youth team playing IF we could beat Man United.

    But, only time would tell….

  24. #424

    Join Date
    Zbimg was always going to be hard to keep hold of in that sort of form. Shame not to get more for him but at least he's leaving the country, so won't score a hattrick against you in a future game!

    His record this season must be phenomenal!

  25. #425

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    Proud captain.
    Only club I ever wanted to play for.
    Kisses the badge after every goal.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

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