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Thread: [STORY] A Golden and Fearless Ambition

  1. #526

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    Ribble Valley
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  2. #527

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    Kraków, Poland
    Quote Originally Posted by ZanSnake View Post
    As things currently stand, the future is unknown on this story. But do want to end it sooner then later!
    What there future says now?

  3. #528

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    What's up here ?
    I hope it won't end like this !

  4. #529

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    Nothing, England
    Started writing the ending months, but then Mum had her motorcycle accident, so been in and out of Uni, etc.

    Haven't really had the time to finish it off just yet, but should be done by next weekend.

  5. #530

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    Nothing, England
    Chapter Five:
    Start of An Unsettling End

    It has been a difficult few months for me. After Zan's death, and the realisation that I will end up with the same fate, the end of the season seemed to get closer and closer. I was in a car, driving faster then I ever wanted and there wasn't any brakes.

    After the New Year festivites, it was straight back into the action with a match against Chelsea, which was followed by the FA Cup 3rd match against Everton – nether performance being our best team efforts of the season.

    The referee awarded us the win, and Zbimg did his routine job but it was an attacking team going all out but only coming back with crumbs.

    Chalobah bossed the defence all game – the perfect replacement to the now departed John Terry.

    The match against Everton was frustrating.

    It all started off with the referee awarding the home side a penalty in dubious circumstances, which Lassogga took perfectly and gaining the lead 20 minutes in. Despite yet another attacking master-clutch of chances, it was another routine goal by Zbimg that earned a replay.

    But it seemed it was the away days that hampered our form, as with two home games, we scored 4 goals in each game.

    Though it could have been the reintroduction of captain The Eejit back into the starting eleven as he finally regained fitness for the first since his injury.

    But it also be due to the fact we were playing at home as in the replay against Everton, the team that seemed to be able to contain the attacking flair, was demolished – you could have guessed – 4 goals to there 1.

    So later the draw decided our next opponents:

    Hull, a team hoping to get promoted next season to the Premier League, was the better option as it was only three days before our Semi Final First Leg against Tottenham. It was even more anxious as our form of the year – so far – away would indicate a hard fought match!

    Which was evidence by the difficult 2-2 away draw against Sunderland, though there was some players that coming into the starting eleven for the first time in a while – including scorer Kowalinho who replaced the injured Van der Voom.

    My substitutions was an angle the media started to berate before the actual altercation with Tottenham. As the PR guy of our club, Mr. Nemo (Latin for Nobody (it's was a hidden joke)) took charge of who asked the questions, I already uneasy as it was.

    Scum 1: Scum from the Sun here, was just wondering what did you do to the body?
    Niko: What body?
    Scum 1: Oh, there is a body! I knew it! Is that body of your missing girlfriend – or should I say ex – that hasn't been seen in recent months?
    Niko: What the hell! What kind of question is that!
    Scum 1: Oh! Doesn't answer the question – therefore it means it's an obvious yes in sub-text!

    As my rage started to build, Nemo (Come on, that's a joke itself if you cared to care) changed the 'journalist'.

    Scum 2: Scum from the Daily Mail, is it true your mum is a sheep? And, additionally, is it true your father is a Welshman named Baz?
    Niko: What! What kind of sceptical, stereotypical bestiality bullshit is this?
    Scum 2: Hmm... Answer is another question, therefore the sub-text means he is being impartial – defensive – meaning his guility! Plus our fashion department of donkeys will be able to rip apart his generic choice of clothing.

    Swallowing more rage as Nemo (C'mon, Nobody is choosing the questions? LAUGH GOD DAMMIT!) chosen the next question-asker. (Fuck Grammar, i'm Niko bitch!) It was an international one, as it seemed he was from America.

    Scum 3: Scum from Fox News, is it true you masturbate over the devil while masturbating over the American flag?
    Niko: What?
    Scum 3: Is it also true, you had a loving friendship with North Korea's Kim whatsit?
    Niko: He stalked and held me captive for a bit, I guess. It was never an actual 'relationship' or friendship or anything...
    Scum 3: I knew it! Retiring prodigy has sex with communist dictactor over the devil and masturbates over the burning flag of democracy! The USA Flag!

    Suddenly, the Scum 3 journalist stood upon his plastic chair and held his arm to his chest as the American anthem played. But soon it broke due to his OVERWEIGHT physique.

    As everyone laughed at the over-confident and fatty American, the interview started to make actual progress.

    Not Scum: Hi, Not Scum from Non-Murdoch-Owned-Publication, why is with your usage of substitutions? Surely, a sane manager would have rested plays before such a large game?
    Niko: Well, I am here to perfect, to accomplish. My players are here to: perfect, to accomplish. If there is no tactical, fitness, performance or injury reason then I expect the same!
    Not Scum: But, surey you would rest certain players when a big game is comig up?
    Niko: But Tottham vs Newark is a big game. They are minnows compared to us!
    Not Scum: What do you mean? What is Spurs relations to Newark?
    Niko: We are heavyweights aiming for Champion's League and in the UEFA Cup without being in Premier league. They are aiming below to win competitions we have won, aiming for height we are succeeding too.
    Not Scum: What do that mean?
    Niko: Newark will end this with another accomplishment under my reign!

    I walked out of the press conference, despite Nemo's (Nobody's) complaints, and soon it was time to turn words to action.

    My egotism either meant two things: I could predict the future and our bad aways performances was down to shitty plays by certain player, or I was able to predict the future: as if the game was destined towards my words, or my words was spun to make myself more mystic.

    Either way it was a great start for Newark against the minnows.

    And, against Hull it was Premier League versus Championship.

    Despite the efforts of former Fearless Warriors Tibor Cica, and Reuben Noble-Lazarus, it was the expected. An easy 3-0 home result meant a step further to retaining our Cup!

    Which was continued not only the a perfect score with 3-0 over Hull in 3rd round, as expected with a side managed by the likes of me.

    After the game, we were able to secure our thoughts of a possible threat as we were drawn with another promotion battling Championship side in Norwhich – though under David O'Learly they looked more like title challengers then promotion hunters – meaning that there would be no Premier League showdown.

    It was more of the same into the start of Februaury, in which the main assists was the referee. In our 4-1 home win against Fulham, we were given two penalties in which was both scored by Mark Henderson.

    1-3 away win over Birmingham (Zbimg '13 '90, Wato '16), though Henderson got sent off '28, maybe karma from the last game. Against Arsenal at home we retained another point as our captain stepped up and helped win a point, after assisting Zbimg with the equaliser after Toral gave the away side the lead with only 17 minutes on the clock.

    But, despite another impressive run in the Premier League, it was the FA Cup that my attention turned too. If this was going to be last season as a manager, I at least wanted to see a run to the final!

    But it wasn't going to be that way, thanks to a horrorific display in goal by John Wood.

    Jay Simpson was the man of the moment for Norwich in the cup, after impressing last season by scoring 26 goals he was in double digits but scored vital goals for the club in the FA Cup, which he continued.

    13 minutes, and he latched onto the lurking defender Gary Kenneth's ball, humiliating Woods with a floating header bouncing off the bar and then into the bar of the net.

    Simpson then was the play-maker, as veteran Gareth Barry charged into the box and awaited the low cross and just plotted it into the back of the net. The headlines seemed to be written – 'Simps-on It!' - he was ripping apart the team! And only 20 minutes had been played.

    But it wasn't till the near hour mark when he was a proper threat. After Lappin ripped past our captain The Eejit, he then dinked it forward for Simpson to score his 5th FA Cup goal in 7 games, and undoubtedly sent the canaries into the Quarter Final.

    Zbimg scored a consolation a minute after kick-off, and Woods was taken off for Cornell, and despite O'Toibin trying to inspire a last minute comeback with an 86th minute goal.

    It was over.

    Simpson had ripped us apart. And O'Learly shook my hand as he celebrated his first win over me in my final season.

    Too say that the defeat hadn't had an effect would be an understatement. I thought it would have been an easy result for us, another rout, another step to a final. And soon I found myself outside a place I didn't want to be.

    It was Zan's resting place.

    Due to the severity of his occupation, he had to be buried in a place where no-one would know.

    I stood next to where my buried 'clone', my kind of brother, laid. If I was the so-called 'Perfect One', how could I have the same fate?

    It didn't translate, it couldn't.

    How would someone react if they knew they were going to die a horrible death and do nothing about?

    As the wind started to perk up, blowing my massive trench coat into the air, away from the grave. I grabbed my pack of cigarettes, and lit it as I shielded my hand against the whooshes of the wind. As the nicotin entered my system, I clinched my eyes together and whispered to the wind.

    Niko: Sorry...

    All I could muster was a cowardly apology. One I couldn't say to his face. One I delayed for so long.

    No longer did I care about the whole 'Info0' stuff. Was it ever real? Was my relationship with Kesha real? Did Him actually die?

    I opened my eyes, and took another drag of my menthol cigarette. The minty taste turned bitter, iron started to rise from my throat. Then I started to cough. I collapsed down onto the grave, my cigarette burning into mud, dancing around onto the dug up ground with the rhythm of the wind.

    I continued coughing, splurting out a large black liquid from my mouth. This wasn't blood. This was something else, it was a black thick sludge. Every fit of cough, more piled down onto my clone's grave.

    Seconds seemed like hours, minutes like days. Time had started to be distant. But after a while, I crunched my eyes together and clawed into the now-damp mud into my fists. With every strength in my body, I pushed up and wiped the remants of the sludge from the side of my mouth. I nodded my head down to the grave and turned to exit whatever had just happened.

    After the episode, I didn't mention it to anyone. I continued to what had been my solution till now: football.

    My enemy wasn't this 'illness' right now, but Everton boss Chris Powell, and with a few changes, Kowalinho playing on the right wing and Andy Allan in midfield, it was the kind of response I needed.

    1-3 was the final score. BobMem, Kowalinho and Zbimg had scored, but it was Kowalinho who got the applause. 1 goal and 2 assists, not a bad way to say “start me for Tottenham!”, and even BobMem decided to show his prowess by scoring two – at both ends of the pitch – but that didn't damper my mood, or concentration.

    The second leg of the Semi-Final was at the Boltsky Stadium. Only one change, Wato on for Sulonen due to him being cup-tied.

    The game? It was a boring game.

    We were playing on the counter, hoping that with both Zbimg and Kowalinho up-front in attack it would cause an effective partnership, which it did.

    4 chances in the whole of the match, 4 on-target. We were already through, a 4-1 win at the White Hart Lane basically guaranteed it. But now, there was another 2 goals added in.

    Zbimg made it 9 goals in 8 games, Darren Boyle chipped it up and he volleyed it into the top corner on 28 minutes, and Hoolihan won a penalty from a corner. Willis sealed it by slotting the ball into the bottom right corner.

    We were through to the Final!

    Wembly was awaiting for us, and it was a night of celebration!

    For most...

    But for me, it was strange. I had won the Manager of the Month for February, guaranteed a Cup Final in my Final season but every instinct in my body was on edge.

    I had a sense to leave England... soon. That something bad or odd was going to happen. Before the whole breakdown, I had learnt to trust my instinct's but now I was kind of wary.

    I didn't know what to do, so I retired back to my home for the night, to drink some rum and relax.

    But come midnight, I was awoken by a loud banging at my door.

    That was five minutes ago, and now it's still happening. It was just rushed banging at first, now it is desperate. Echoing through my empty room, I start to make a new drink.

    Niko: Vodka? No. Rum? Bland.

    I hear it again, this time whimpers of my name are hitting my ears.

    Niko: Whiskey.

    Pouring out the drink, the knocking has stopped.

    Niko: Peace and quiet at last.

    I walk over to the table, sit in my glass chair. Lightly sipping, I get out my last cigarette.

    Niko: God I smoke so much when drinking..

    Suddenly, a noise hits my ears. I know where. The front room. My window was a little ajar, so they forced themselves in. I pull out my pistol onto the table, more for show then anything but hopefully they wouldn't know that.

    Footsteps. They are getting closer. Closer.

    They are nearly in the kitchen. Downing the rest of my whiskey, I stub out my cigarette half smoked and stand up. Aiming the gun to the entrance of the hallway, it's shaking now.

    But as the shadow of the man started to emerge from the darkness, I had instinctly started to lower the gun. I can't believe this...

    Am I seeing a ghost?


  6. #531

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    More fantastic randomness from Zan. Love it.

    BobMem: I score when I like, I score whichever end I like!

  7. #532

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    Ribble Valley
    I have no idea what was going on, but I loved evey word of it.

    Congratulations on getting to the cup final, and (other than Norwich) ripping the league apart.
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  8. #533

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    As original as ever. Also I have to say that I'm in love with myself. Lorenzo is a f*** machine ! Please send me a screenshot of the legend in PM !

  9. #534

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    Chapter Six:
    Getting Closer to Dawn

    It was all so weird.

    As my eyes readjusted to my surrounding, but images started to flash before my eyes. Images that could have been false, could have been true, I couldn't collect any signs to defer the two differences.

    As this white fog started to entertain my eyes, another weird image started to emerge.

    A man in a fancy suit, who was trapped in a box came into my sight.

    The bottom and the top of the box had a phone number and a website information on it, as the scene was played out like a shitty advertisement. The man in the suit was the focus of the attention, not the circus accident that had occurred behind him.

    Man in Suit: Have a work related injury?
    Niko: Not one of these!
    Man in Suit: Has the parallels of real and fiction been blurred? Are you on a philosophical journey that dwindles between a destined fate and free-will?

    The man walked closer to me, as a small monkey with half a face attacked a merry couple, bashing their heads in with his small cymbal.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! That Half-faced killed AMC!
    Man in Suit: Those bastards! Bastards who could be real or false?

    My eyes aligned as the box came to touch my knees, his face came closer, out the reaches of the box.

    Man in Suit: If all these things are concerning to you, then contact us on the number below.

    He then smirked as the number and website started to dart around into a white mash, as I felt disorientated, I closed my eyes and took five seconds to breathe before swallowing down the dread. I reopened my eyes, there was nothing but..

    An empty glass.

    I threw the glass across the room, watching it smash on the wall.

    My sanity... it was slowly eroding. But all I needed to do was hold on to one thing, and then I would be out of the spotlight to sort it all out!

    After another impressive month, where we sealed another cup final but also carried on our search for Champions League football with Riley in charge.

    As you looked upon the table, we were ahead of the champions and the runners-up with Arsenal and Chelsea at the back of our necks, but it would be the hopeful new Champions that the attentions were turned too....

    Manchester United had scathed through to the finals, with a tense penalty win over Arsenal. It was a close affair as Man United led as they went into the game with a single goal, which Arsenal got back in the second leg hence the penalties.

    But they were aiming for a completion of all the trophies as they had their hand into all the bowls at this moment. So we had turn around the defeat we had from them earlier in the season, and regain the same kind of performance that made us the current cup holders!

    But the game was months away, and it was time for the UEFA Cup to restart after a little break.

    Two changes for the home tie against Turkish side Besiktas, as Boyle was replaced for Sulonen and O'Toibin was rested for the returning Hemphill who had been sitting out after a poor run of form.

    But it was a hard fought out result...

    It was an attacking prowess with a lack of finishing prowess. 17 shots on goal with 10 on target, it was the European débutante Hannu Sulonen who pounced on a miskicked goal-kick with only half-an-hour on the clock.

    But the away side's striker Garhan slotted in the equaliser four minutes later, basically all by himself!

    The second half was tense, the atmosphere was high. The play was good as Kowalinho came closer and closer to give us the advantage for the second leg, which included a goal ruled offside on the 84th minute as Wato strayed off his duties.

    But, upstepped the captain to ensure that Kowalinho could get the goal he deserved as after three minutes of the disallowed goal, Eejit lobbed the ball forward towards a space that destined a nice volley by Kowalinho into the back of the net.

    8th goal of the season for him, and the 4th Man of the Match for Captain The Eejit.

    We followed that up with a 1-0 home win against Newcastle, Sulonen was on the target once more as Hemphill added an assist. Though we had lost our captain after he collected his 10th yellow card of the season.

    But it was back to Turkey we went with a 1-2 aggregate to our advantage, after a quick 'Do it for the Fans!' speech, I sent them out thinking it would be a quick 1-0 result or 0-0 draw.

    But instead...

    Wato lead an on-slaught!

    It was individual performance for the midfeilder as he scored his 16th and 17th goals of the season and earning his 4th Man of the Match award!

    To be fair, we were lucky that Besiktas had such an off-day!

    Though we lost Kowalinho, the injury wasn't as bad as we initially thought as it would be only 2 weeks we would miss him.

    Though it was celebrations for the away side, it was the home side supporters who made their reactions public as rioting accord as soon as the final whistle was blown.

    But there was something that caught my eyes, as throughout the rioting – that I had decided to go out myself after an 'urge' – I saw someone that looked mysterious.

    It was a man walking a dog, both embalmed in flames. He didn't seem bothered by the rioting, not a single thought seemed to show across his face. My eyes followed him as my eyes started water, a gut punch rumbled into my stomach.

    I started to follow him down the road, dodging any projectiles that came flying at me. Knocking out any person who identified me, I lost the man who was on fire to a strange door.

    Though it looked like it was on top of it, I pushed on the door and soon it opened. After a cautious moment, I entered the dark void. As soon as my feet had planted onto the dark floor, the door closed automatically and the darkness engulfed me.

    My chest started to hurt, my throat was sore and heavy. I tried to cough but nothing was coming out. It felt as if the darkness was shoving itself into my mouth and down into my stomach.

    My body was being invaded, and all I could do was wait. Wait for the final minute. But as it felt lie every inch of my body had been taken over, I was suddenly released and dropped onto the floor.

    As I dropped to my knees, I started to cough up the black slime once more. My eyes situated on to the floor, whena light started to hit the floor. I slowly lifted my head up to the light to see an awaiting man.

    He sat drinking his Chardonnay, smirking to himself as I struggled to speak up

    Niko: Who are you?
    Man: Your worst nightmare!
    Niko: Explains a lot...

    He gorged back on his drink as I struggled to get my breath back once again.

    Nightmare: Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock...

    As he started to make the sound, it suddenly started to emerge in my ears, echoing throughout my mind. My face plummeted once more to see the black ground, which soon was ruined by a sudden cascade of colourful. Suddenly, as I raised my head, the image of the man 'Nightmare' had changed with a dark ambient music.

    The manic maniac started to play random notes from the keyboard. But it wasn't till after a few minutes, that he really started playing as he said one word.

    Niko: Oh no....
    Nightmare: A Jitterberg

    As the curseful words was said, the ground started to rise and suddenly something from my history was reoccuring.

    And soon it was sung...

    Nightmare and Co.: You put the boom-boom into my heart
    You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
    Jitterbug into my brain
    Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same
    But something's bugging you
    Something ain't right
    My best friend told me what you did last night
    Left me sleepin' in my bed
    I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead.

    Niko: No! Not the chorus! Anything but the chorus!!!!

    Nightmare and Co.:
    Wake me up before you go-go
    Don't leave me hangi-

    Gradually it seemed like my prays was answered as the rioters started to emerge from the dancing crowd and ripped away the set.

    And soon my eyes started to flicker close. But as I opened them I was back in the rioting street, like nothing had happened. Except, around laid dead bodies. Holes in their chests due to blunt instruments that had been apart of the buildings around. No one had noticed yet, as I rose up. I looked around and ran from the scene, hoping that no one would notice that I had been there.

    On a plane back to the UK, I was nervous. Was the bodies real? Was I at fault?

    Nothing seemed to make sense. But the only option once more was to turn towards football. Towards what was happening.

    Thankfully the Quarter Final draw was upon us, and would be our next game after some rearranging. But I was just thankful to have another game that would delay my proper decent into madness.

    Rubin had beaten a giant in Inter to get here, so it would be a tougher task this time around. But after yet another great display in Turkey – minus my personal madness – I was hoping that we could use that momentum to get another result.

    It was time to go to Yermolai's home country.

    After 8 minutes, it seemed we would have to Put-in some hard work as BobMem was forced to go off with an injury. He was replaced by 19 year old Vicente Alba who was making his first appearance for us. The Spanish man was a great prospect and was brought in for only £500k.

    It wouldn't be until the second half till the game came to life, and it was all down to Lorenzo!

    Four minutes into the second half, Zbimg was pushed down in the air by Rubin defender Nahtko and won a penalty. Sulonen sealed the lead slotting it into the back of the net.

    Zbimg then added the second on the 53rd minute with a brilliant solo goal, scoring his 32nd goal and 5th goal in Europe this incredible season!

    Rubin thought they could try and earn a comeback for an equal playing ground as they scored via the hour mark from young Polish striker Wronski, but it was out Polish replacement and the returning Van der Voom who sealed in the sealer 73rd minute with Lorenzo's second assist on the game with a magnificent header from a low driven cross.

    It was a warning to Manchester United for the League Cup Final, despite a sending off by the captian Hemphill, Van der Voom was the true leader.

    Which was then added to a cruise to the UEFA Cup Semi-Finals!

    Though we lost defender Willis for a month and a suspended Van der Voom, I was hoping that the reintroduction of BobMem and Kowalinho would be enough to make effect.

    But we would be back in Russia sooner then later...

    The 2004 Runners-Up were aiming for another final and demolished Lyon and Zenit to proceed into the Semi's. But before we were set to go onto the plane to Russia, it would be bus ride to Wembley, hoping to retain our League Cup from the hands of a team we had only just recently faced and beaten.

    But this wasn't going to be the same team.

    Kowalinho, Van der Voom, and Willis out with injury.

    Hemphill and The Eejit out with suspension.

    And, as usual, Sulonen was cup-tied.

    Did it make an effect?


    It was time for a new month, and the next match against CSKA, in which we wouldn't be able to have another striker on the bench due to the fact both Van der Voom and Kowalinho was still injured.

    My mind was racing already, but now it would be worse....

  10. #535

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    You could lose your sanity while winning the glory ...

  11. #536

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    Nothing, England
    Chapter Seven:
    Dawn of the Day

    With only 2 Premier League matches in a congested March, in which we had made it into the Semi-Final of the UEFA Cup, it was another undefeated month, but that was changed straight away in April with the loss in the League Cup Final.

    But with the return of Sulonen, The Eejit and Hemphill for our trip to Russia, it gave at least a mini boost of confidence.

    In Russia, I was able to see Yermolai and his son Anton in their native land together.

    They were chatting and reminiscenting of their early years, when I walked over to talk to my soon to be former boss.

    Niko: Alright Yermolai!
    Anton: Can't you see, Nikolavski we are talking of my childhood!
    Yermolai: Nikolavski! What do you know of manners?
    Niko: Please and thank you is probably all

    I said jokingly

    Well if you interrupt me when I am talking to my eldest son again, I will have you pubic hair be removed one by one with a nail!
    Anton: He's done it before!
    Yermolai: Ah! Good times, son!
    Anton: Indeed, father.
    Yermolai: Let's drink some Vodka and wrestle some Russian bears!
    Anton: Like my 10th birthday all over again!

    The Relikovic boys walked away chuckling as a devoided Artur Vasily slumped behind, carrying all their bags.

    Vasily: I wished I wasn't his son...

    He moaned as he struggled to carry them all, which looked more like it was a modelling pageant for toddlers with insecure mothers that usher their personal demons onto their young daughters, forcing them to wander down a life full of resentment and judgement that'll lead to an end at 18 years with a bunch of pills and a bathroom.

    The partying duo had more to celebrate come the end of the night, as despite the fact it was a horrible performance by a lacklustre team, but thankfully captain The Eejit stepped up to the limelight and scored the only goal. Though half of me hated the fact it was such a close knitted game, it was more due to the performances, especially as the shots were in our favour!

    But, either way the owner and the son was happy – though that could have been the crates of beer and vodka – but, soon that happiness had turned to anger for the bear that had ripped off their clothes after he started to 'wrestle' dirty.

    Yermolai: It's fine to kill Dimitri!
    Anton: We shall eat his balls!
    Yermolai: Seasoned with vodka!

    As you would expect it was an unneeded attention, especially to some of the guests

    Baritovic 'Barry' Beardic was a leading politician in Russia, and this public hate crime surge him into a frenzy.

    Barry: Why can't I relax in the forests of the beautiful motherland without hate?
    Niko: You a bear?
    Barry: Wow! You can't say that! That's our word, brah!
    Niko: Really?
    Barry: I am going to make sure the people responsible get the punishment they deserve.
    Niko: Good, I guess.
    Barry: They'll be fish out of water after I finished with them!
    Niko: Weird analogy...
    Barry: or like a Salmon swimming upstream!
    Niko: You really like fish don't you?
    Barry: Do we shit in the woods?

    He said that nodding disapprovingly, before turning his attention elsewhere.

    And soon I followed suit as we had turned towards the Premier League for the first time in what seemed like forever...

    Lorenzo continued his amazing goalscoring this season with 3 goals in 3 games, though it was the referee that stole our push to claim for the 2nd position, as we dropped 3 pivotal points and dropped back down to 3rd after a hopeful run as possible runners-ups.

    Hopefully the FA saw the condemnation of the referee's performance and revoked the ban:

    But, we also lost O'Toibin and Jose Hernandez with another two month long injuries. It seemed the Gods of football was against us, as he would be another casualty to what seemed to be an epidemic of the Fearless Warriors!

    So the team looked like this against CSKA:

    Carvajal and Henderson both had the chance to retain some kind of form for the game, as we sat in the home locker-room, I tried to say some-thing that would inspire them to get to the final!

    I started off with showing a inspirational photo of Ryan Giggs.

    They looked bemused at the large poster.

    Hemphill: Gaffer, I don't get why you are showing us this?
    Niko: Really? You can't? Can't you see?

    The confused players glared at me with a crazed look, some bickered around with words of crazy, loon, and metaphor of someone coming out of the closet – they looked towards the closet player, but then turned back to me when he notcied the eyes that laid on him.

    Niko: This is Ryan Giggs. Though it seems like he is getting fucked, he is the man who normally fucks. We all know his sexual accomplishments, but that's not why he's on this wall.

    Niko: He is the most accomplished player to grace the game, to feel the glory, to earn the right to fuck around. But here, he is the one being fucked!

    Niko: Long deep, and I mean deep. His team was penetrated and lost. So much that he is clutching that ball for support. But there’s no team support. Hence the fucking.

    Niko: So, what I am trying to say is that come the end of this season, are you going to let us be the one who gets fucked? Or are we the fuckers! We've fucked a few times, FA Cup, League Cup Final: but we are the Ryan Giggs! We've earned the right to be the fuckers, so are we going to show the we are going to give it?

    The lads jumped in the air, as the closeted player stayed down for a mini second before slowly rising onto his feet.

    Niko: Now go out there, and fuck 'em!

    The lads charged out with enthusiasm draining out of them, they wanted to fuck 'em up!

    The enthusiasm was being shown from the get go as Hemphill lobbed through Zbimg who went one-on-one with Akinfeev who was able to unrelieve the pressure as he was to dive onto Lorenzo's attempt to pass by.

    Wato had an attempt shortly after but was easily saved by Akinfeev, which started a counter for the away side which ended with Necid being denied due to the ever present BobMem.

    Dzagoev then soon had a chance via a free-kick, but it went over the bar. Sulonen then fed through a ball which Zbimg mistimed a kick to go agonisingly close.

    It was a continuous battle of chances, both sides were up for the tease, but no-one could penetrate just yet!

    Not even Wato's free-kick which meant yet another amazing save from Akinfeev, but rebounded back out in which Zbimg 'attempted' a bicycle kick which was completely missed.

    During the last minutes of the first half both teams had crucial opportunities, Doumbia looked set to have a clear chance on goal, if it wasn't for the hard-working Captain who back-tracked and did an amazing tackle from behind.

    Sulonen thought he had unleashed the roaming Zbimg, but he was caught offside at the last second as the ball settled into the back of the net.

    After the offside call, it was a sombre reminder of who are the really fuckers, and it was time for the second half to begin.

    Straight off it was two chances for CSKA, firstly Necid which was blocked by his own man Lucho Gonzalez who then shot it towards goal in which Wood comfortably saved.

    But then it started to build towards the Fearless Warriors ambition!

    Woods through the ball forward to Sulonen who once again unleashed Zbimg who missed thanks to a save by Akinfeev.

    Four minutes later, Zbimg dribbled past Dzagoev and nutmegged Schennikov, placing his shot towards the top corner, but was once again denied by CSKA's captain Igor Akinfeev!

    Another chance happened once more, Carvajal picked up the ball....


    Had enough with the foreplay, we went with the whole dick and balls!

    Not it was time to reject the back lash.

    As the game went on, the less chances a dejected CSKA had. Nothing seemed to have really add anymore to the game, as The Eejit lead his team into the last minutes with the sense of pride as we marched into our second Final of the season.

    And as the whistle blew, records were broken!

    And then we knew who we would face in the Cup Final in Lisbon...

    French Toulouse had been fighting in the competition for a long while, well in Europe at least. Going through the Champions League Qualifying Thrd Face and into the Group Stage, but ended up 3rd in Group B.

    Toulouse then carried the misfortunes in the Champion's League into a impaccable run through French, German and Turkish teams to get to the final, in which they will face an English team in it's first ever European Competition!

    It was a belated birthday party, and a celebration of being into the UEFA Cup final, and it was every single team member that turned up for what would be the final birthday party that would be arranged with me in charge of Newark Athletic.

    With everything that occurred, I was certainly not in the partying mood, I was cowering in the corners having the odd conversation to the guests. It was easy, saying how well the team had played, happy belated birthday etc.

    But as the night went on my mind started to dwindle...

    It was when Kowalinho was introducing to who he had thought was no his one. As my eyes set on to her it all started.

    Kowalinho: I dunno how to save this, gaffer, but this is the one!

    He made a grad gesture towards her...



    After that, the night just faded into nothingness, and soon it was time for the last two games of the month.

    With another 4 goals Lorenzo was now on 42 goals in all competitions, 26 in the league, he had scored 158 goals in 195 games – 157 goals in 194 games for Newark – and seemed to be set to be aiming to be adding more to his goal tally with 4 games left.


    And as we ended April, we were still fighting for third place:

    But on the 1st of May I was relaxing on the sofa before training for the Reading game when I heard a large knocking on the front door. I initially hesitated due to experiences, but when it was larger and the introduction of a helicopter and flashing lights emerged I charged over to open the door....

    Niko: Hello officers?
    Police man: Niko Bergstrom!

    One of the blokes grab me and push me against my door, pining my arm against my back. Instinctively, I over powered him and spun round. Breaking his arm, I now had him as a hostage, with his gun against his head.

    Niko: What do you guys want?
    Police man: Mr Bergstrom, we are here to arrest you as a suspicion on the murder of Simon Cowell, Phetrov, Kesha, Celine Dion, Justin Bieber, Nickelback, Michael Buble, and many more.
    Niko: What?

    As the names started to line up in my head, I dropped the gun and released the police officer as the English equivalent to the SWAT surrounding me. I followed their orders and didn't resist arrest. As I was escorted out of my house, outside laid an army of police and a mob of paparazzi.

    Being locked into the van, all I could do was close my eyes and accept whatever was about to happen.

  12. #537

    Join Date
    Kraków, Poland
    They left and soon it was back to the usual
    Niko you Bastard

  13. #538

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    Nothing, England
    Quote Originally Posted by Kowalinho View Post
    Niko you Bastard

    One last Month of the Season...

  14. #539

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Breaking News!: Newark Athletic Manager Released after Intense Questioning

    Written By Monkey #123
    Date Today

    Newark Athletic's season seemed to have turned to the darker side after it was reported that out-going manager Niko Bergstrom, 31, was arrested in connection of series of murders that had occurred during his stint as manager of the East Midland club.

    The retiring manager of six years, looked set to be celebrating year at the whelm after earning a League Cup Runners-Up medal and finalist in the UEFA Cup. However, his house was surrounded by armed police and photographers who had noticed the army of the white and blue.

    Some neighbours was asked to vacate their home in case of another showdowns:

    “I was getting ready for a picnic with my mister, when I heard a large knock on my door. It was the 5-0, so I quickly flushed my drugs and then answered.” Said a neighbour of Mr Bergstrom, “they warned me that the local freak next door was about to be raided and that there could be like Michael Bay levels of explosions!”

    But that wasn't to be, as Bergstrom held hostage an office before handing himself in peacefully. Though no official word has been said about the investigation or any forthcoming charges, according to sources within the Police Force had hinted a possible answer.

    Police Outside Bergstrom's House

    “Well, accordingly it's a mixture of a medical issue and a favour owed by the Prime Minister for his release.” Our insider, Mitchell Hawkins from 26 Pleasant Avenue, Informer Road, Newark – behind the Co-Op shop.

    “Though there are rumours that it was only a timed release, like a probation peroid – it seems some of the officers are actually Newark Athletic fans!” Added the 34 year old, 5'8”, blue eyed, bald with a scruffy medium beard, divorced but still wears his wedding ring as it mentally destroys him that he has ruined the best relationship that he ever had as tries to relive the past, through the false relic and the end of numerous bottles of whisky, to the point he is willing to sell out his closest and trusted friends for a single bottle to a Who-Knews Corporation that had promised to keep his anonymity in secret but because we sold our souls to the devil for a twinkie many years ago, we butt-fuck everyone BECAUSE WE ARE OUR OWN GODS!!!! And we get slightly turned on about it.

    It is reported that chairman Yermolai Relikovic was also involved with negotiations with the Croatian Begstrom's release, and that Mr Bergstrom will refrain from any public speech on the issue but will be at Newark's next game.

  15. #540

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The season should be ended by Tuesday.

    Story will be done by mid-July, gonna try and do the story quickly with daily updates after the season is through.

    So, this will be done and gone hopefully soon

  16. #541

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    Newark March on Despite Hectic Times

    Written by Champman0102

    It was a triumphant couple of days for the Fearless Warriors as they continued there impressive form despite the lack of the leadership of manager Niko Bergstrom from the managerial side lines.

    As apart of his release, Mr Bergstrom isn't allowed to attend the last games in England on the sidelines or do any public speaking to the media. Though the Croatian was able to chose the line-ups and tactical decisions.

    The two run-in games toward the UEFA Cup final was in jubilant times, as it was an impressive outing.

    Firstly against Reading, it was an impressive attacking display – one that has impressed over the course of the season for neautrals and fans alike – that earned applauds for the side that was under the watchful eye of future manager Riley Bartley.

    But it was the midfeild who fed the beast up-front, Lorenzo Zbimg. First it was Eddy Wato on the 29th minute with a nicely strucked free-kick which Zbimg headered in, and then Hannu Sulonen with a terrific 25 yard pass through the home side's defence in the last minute of the first half!

    But in the end, it was a team effort that had stopped Reading having only one shot on goal, as BobMem and captain The Eejit bossed the defensive area. Of course, though, it was brace scorer Lorenzo Zbimg that had earned yet another Man of the Match.

    The home game against Cardiff reintroduced Kowalinho into the starting eleven as Carvajal made room for Henderson who dropped to right back to ensure the Polish forward could get fit for the Final.

    But what had transpired was the opposite then what the record attendees would have wanted at the Boltsky stadium.

    As they came to see of the team to the final against French side Toulouse, they would have wanted a better result as the home side was undecided with their finishing skills as the game ended 0-0, despite having numerous oppertunites on goal.

    With the score at the same result at the end of the first half, Bergstrom made the call for Van der Voom to come on twenty minutes into the second half, hoping the club's reknown super sub could collect vital point for the teams run for 2nd place in the Premier League.

    But ultimately, it was unimpressive performance from the attackers and another impressive performance with vice-vice captain BobMem.

    But with a draw and only one home game left – against currently 7th positioned Liverpool – the Fearless Warriors have made themselves in a hard position to overtake 2nd place Manchester City to gain the runners-up medal to Manchester United's title.

    They have also made themselves vulnerable to Arsenal's two games in hand.

    Relying on other teams for higher positions, either way, Newark are certainly guaranteed Champions League football.

    Stay tuned for more about the ending season of the Fearless Warriors début season in the Premier League and the last season in management of Niko Bergstrom!
    Last edited by ZanSnake; 22-06-15 at 12:09 PM. Reason: Added Player Stats

  17. #542

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    Drop your captain and look what happens !
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  18. #543

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    Quote Originally Posted by The Eejit View Post
    Drop your captain and look what happens !
    You did play the Cardiff game

    Just posted the wrong picture, fixed it now.

  19. #544

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    No wonder it was an average performance. The gaffer doesn't even know who he has selected
    The artist formally known as The Eejit

  20. #545

    Join Date
    Good stuff, at least we won the 'Arsenal Cup', even if we do end up 4th behind, er, Arsenal...

  21. #546

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    Final Chapter:
    Day of Judgement

    After a turbulent couple of days, I had been excluded to the outside world. After a medical examination confirmed my ill health and some discussions with the United Nations about my work as a so-called 'Agent' of theirs, I was released on a probation under the rules that I would be watched by officers 24/7 and not allowed to partake within public goings.

    Therefore that meant I was unable to 'manage' both the Reading and Cardiff games from the sidelines, and that Riley took all the applauds. It also meant that I wouldn't be able to attend the last game against Liverpool.

    But fortunately, I found a loophole that meant I was allowed and encouraged to go to Lisbon for the UEFA Cup Final!

    The plane ride into Portugal felt weird...

    It was relieving to be out of the same four walls, that seemed to taunt me with their vaguely coloured walls, but it also felt like I was making a mistake. My heart beat rose, my chest started to ache.

    But as soon as the golden elixir of Whiskey touched my lips, the pain started to fade away into the bottom of the glass.

    Maybe it was because of the liquor or maybe because Arsenal had beaten Birmingham and now had one more game to claim our 3rd spot in the table, but something was going to go wrong...

    Getting back to the hotel, the lads were out sight-seeing the capital as I remained into my room, watching replays of Toulouse's previous games, trying to find ways to exploit them.

    Minute by minute, another bitter taste of alcohol pushed into my system as I glared at the television screen. But, it wasn't really about that. It was... my last game...

    My last game on the sidelines, my last game to really be in charge. I hit the bottle for another drink.

    This was my day of judgement. Failure or success hinted on this one game.

    And if this was my last game, I was hell-bent on bowing out with applause!

    I woke up with a drunken haze with only hours from the kick-off. The venue for the showdown was the Estadio da Luz, the Stadium of Light – or, also known by Benfica fans call it, The Cathedral – and it was the ultimate game for the Newark fans!

    It was the European dream that they had wished and dream of when it was just a little hope just 6 years ago.

    The strategy plan of the game was simple: attack, attack, attack!

    Hemphill replaced the suspended Sulonen in midfield so that the wingers can be Van der Voom and Kowalinho to support Lorenzo Zbimg. Defence was the same throughout the season. And of course The Eejit was still in the defensive midfeilder role with the captain's arm band. As usual.

    Before we walked out of the locker room, and into the tunnel, news arose that Arsenal had won against Stoke 2-0 and had now pushed us down to 3rd.

    It was something that we would have to fix in the last game and hope for the best with the other teams.

    But first it was time for the UEFA Cup Final!

    And as the boys lined up with their mascot alongside them, I gripped my hands into a fist and waited to be escorted out to being the preparations.

    After the song and dance, it was time for the game!

    It was an intense half, to say the least. As Toulouse were going straight form the bat too, so that the game was a thrilling finale that most people had hoped!

    Gradually the French side started to dig their feet into the ground, but we weren't going to be pushed over. Well, we weren't until...

    As the ball nestled into the back of the net, the wind carrying the frays into the wind, the whole stadium was in unison with a mixture of jubilation and despair. My body shook with anger.

    Niko: How could we let that fucking in!?

    I screamed at my staff, all who couldn't answer my enquiries. As the Toulouse men celebrated I looked on with a glum dispassionate smirk. I had just wanted to wait for the end of the half.

    When Ben Yedder was forced to come off, it gave us an advantage. He was bossing the midfield for the French side, and despite then putting on another attack onto the field, all I wanted was to make sure the team woke the fuck up!

    Into the locker-room, I went into a barage to the players.

    Niko: Does this game mean anything to you? Do you not want to win? Go out there and do SOMETHING! Just WAKE THE FUCK UP!

    I walked down of the room, slamming the door behind. But, the real reason was the aching pain that had restarted throughout my body. It was tense, it was stiff, it felt like my body was giving me a warning. But...

    I had to hold out for another 45 minutes....

    The Toulouse men were stemming with confidence, from head to toe, and smelt of arrogance. As the players smirked walking past, I stuck up my middle finger and awated for the team to get out to play the second half.

    Zbimg stepped up with his 45th of the season, and everything was back to square one. And now we were awake, it was time for the Fearless Warriors to show there Warrior spirirt!

    When Zbimg got free, I was already celebrating, but the pain held me back from anything to movement. I shrugged it off.


    Home town boy Hemphill!!!!

    He had scored in the final, he had scored the goal that confirmed our come-back!

    It was his destiny to score the goal that had earned possibly European glory to his small town!

    I was once again pushed back by the tingling and sharp pains that had surged through my body, instead I clapped as Hemphill went all out with the celebration.

    Toulouse attempted to charge back into the game:


    Zbimg made it out of sight, and it was Hemphill who helped make it happen. And I decided that no matter the reciprocation of it, it was time for me to celebrate!

    Despite what felt like a bullet wound, I pushed on and celebrated with Zbimg. I screamed out all the anguish that I had faced. I cheered into the Newark fans, and clapped for their support.

    Throughout everything it all seemed to fall into place.... Until the moment came... In the faces of the thousands I could see him... His face was nodding at me.

    Niko: Zan!

    I was being ushered back to my tactical area, before I could take a second look. My body felt... feels like I am half dead. And despite Toulouse pushing on to try and make something, we were already there. Our name was being etched onto that trophy!

    As I sat back, a couple of things happened.

    Lorenzo Zbimg was named as Man of the Match for his two goals and assist.

    The final whistle was being blown, confirming our victory.



  22. #547

    Join Date
    Great stuff (apart from the whole bit about you dying, that's probably not so great for you ). UEFA Cup winners, fantastic season!

    Amazing story as ever, congratulations on finishing!

    Niko Zan Riley?

  23. #548

    Join Date
    Nothing, England

    “A sudden and deeply unfortunate tragedy that has rocked this club to it's foundation!” - Newark Athletic Chairman Yermolai Relikovic said in a Statement
    • Niko Bergstrom, 31, passed away during celebrations over Newark Athletic's UEFA Cup Win
      Was going to retire during Summer
      Replacement has resigned after 'Traumatic' circumstances

    By Restin Piece
    Published mailone, Friday 19th May 2006

    IN what should have been a time of celebration and jubilation for the small historic town of Newark-on-Trent, it quickly turned to one of grief and mourning.

    In what was supposed to be the last Cup final with retiring manager Niko Bergstrom, Newark added another trophy to their ever-expanding trophy case with the 3-1 win over French side Toulouse.

    But when it came to the final whistle, Niko already seemed reserved to the on-pitch celebrations of the players. He seemed distant and far away, before then being ushered into celebrating by being thrown into the air.

    Guardiola being thrown in the air, a common act of celebration in football after a Cup win

    “I dunno what to say: It seems so vague, so unreal. I don't know how to say it, but Niko seemed off all day!” Said Polish striker Kowalinho, aged 20, who played on the night in question. “We thought for a second he was messing around, or just fainted, but then...”

    After a few moments of being unconscious, the players called to the physio of both Toulouse and Newark to try and revive the Croatian, which they were able to do for a few minutes but he was pronounced Dead on Arrival.

    Flowers were laid out in front of Boltsky Stadium to honour the man that had brought the club to success

    The ceremony was cancelled due to circumstances and will be done at the start of next season. During which, Newark Athletic have stated that they will pay for Mr Bergstrom's funeral that is going to take place a couple of weeks after the final game of the season.

    The cause of death still remains a mystery at this moment of time, as doctors can only connect with details given at the moment that Mr Bergstrom was unconscious. It was a complete system break down, in which all the vital organs had started to stop working.

    “It really was something that I hadn't seen before. Even before I was able to see him at the hospital, it was too late. The progression was so quick!” Said Doctor Some Thing, which is specialised in Radiation and Genetics. “It seems it was a genetic fault within his DNA, though that is not a full report on the condition of the patients death”.

    Dr Some Thing: speculates that the cause of death might be something to do with genetics

    “Either way it is a tragic and unfortunate circumstance that someone as specially talented as Mr Bergstrom. His brain, during autopsy, seemed to be an incredible size and shows great intelligence – so it was kinda of super-human.”

    Another big outcome from this tragic situation was the shocking resignation of Mr Bergstrom's chosen replacement and assistant manager Riley Bartley, 43, after being the person to first try CPR on Mr Bergstrom.

    “The club has reluctantly but understandingly accepted the resignation of Niko Bergstrom's number two Riland 'Riley' Bartley. The former United States player has been apart of the process of the club's years of success.” Said a statement from the Club's website, “In these tragic circumstances, Riley feels that he cannot possibly replace Mr Bergstrom and needs time away from football to re-evaluate his options.”

    The club also stated they will continue with a review for both Bartley's and Bergstrom's replacement, and that they will continue with the last game of the season. It's reported that chairman's son, and coach, Anton Relikovic might be in charge in the final game.

  24. #549

    Join Date
    Kraków, Poland
    Niko, nooooo

  25. #550

    Join Date
    Terrible news I hope he'll come back somehow ...

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