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Thread: [STORY] A Golden and Fearless Ambition

  1. #126

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    Quote Originally Posted by BobMem View Post
    Nice one!

    I really hope there's a kidnapping at the end of every update, could make managing the team difficult though!

    0 goals conceded. Us boys at the back doing the business. Come on strikers, get some goals! If we have another 0-0 I'm going to have to come up for corners
    I hope not!

    Because then i would have to write in characters/scenarios which would have to be unpredictable, entertaining as well as possibly being a reference to something else. No hints there to who could have

    Thanks for the replies peeps! Hope to get the next one out sooner

  2. #127

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    Quote Originally Posted by BobMem View Post
    Nice one!

    I really hope there's a kidnapping at the end of every update, could make managing the team difficult though!

    0 goals conceded. Us boys at the back doing the business. Come on strikers, get some goals! If we have another 0-0 I'm going to have to come up for corners
    You boys at the back are sitting on your collective arses drinking cups of coffee. No-one gets past the wall that is The Eejit !

    Absolutely brilliant to see this story back.

  3. #128

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    It's good coffee to be fair...

  4. #129

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    The First Journey
    Chapter One:
    Air of Expectancy
    Concluded!


    Let.... this.... River..... Flow......

    Those bitter words echoed through my mind, as I felt my still body being dragged across a cemented ground. My face was covered in a black sack, which was a nice silky cloth, making a lot nicer then the previous times I was kidnapped by some maniac. As the gravel tore at my fine shoes, I was halted and grabbed higher before being thrown into a solid wall, which I bounced off and fell back onto the floor.

    As I heard a metal clashing, like a gate shutting, I leant against he wall and then freed my self from the handcuffs by dislocating my thumbs, and took off the black silk sack and looked at where I was being held.



    Niko: Well, at least they are actually trying to be frightening, unlike that time I was held in Disnae. Still can't believe they put me in a dress and a long-ass blonde wig, kinky fascists!

    Pushing my thumbs back into place, I staggered against the far right wall, and saw two shadows, of the guards.

    Niko: Guess two is the magical number!

    Thinking of the best escape plan, I remembered one of the greatest escape plans I had ever forced to do. Smirking at the ingenious of the idea, I got myself ready to say the magic words, that would guarantee my escape.

    Niko: Right let's remember this...

    I said to myself, before taking a deep inhale.

    Niko: Jitterbug Jitterbug...

    After waiting for about four seconds, it happened!

    Guard:
    You put the boom-boom into my heart
    You send my soul sky high when your lovin' starts
    Jitterbug into my brain
    Goes a bang-bang-bang 'til my feet do the same
    But something's bugging you
    Something ain't right
    My best friend told me what you did last night
    Left me sleepin' in my bed
    I was dreaming, but I should have been with you instead.

    As he sang his little heart out, it came apparent to me, that how the hell would that help me escape from the prison I was in? But, then something magical happened! The bars started to fall apart and the large room suddenly changed into a stage, and a large roaring crowd emerged from the floor, and I was put within them.



    As the two guards went into the chorus, I retreated backwards out of the large cheering crowd, who most resembled a Freddie Mercury look-a-like convention, and escaped into the background, seeing only a singular – for whatever reason – elevator to use. I pressed the button to call the elevator to the level, only to be horrified and confused by the sight in front of me.



    Bottom Asian: Herro! Wourd you rike to come in?
    Niko: Ah....

    I was literally speechress- I mean speechless!

    Humper Asian: Rearry? You don't want to join in wid us?
    Niko: I'll wait for the next one. It looks like you are enjoying yourselves! And I wouldn't want to be a burden!
    Bottom Asian: It wourd be no probrem!

    I shook my head as the doors closed, shuddering with the thought of actually joining in with them! After waiting for about half an hour, in which the guards continued with the improvised concert doing the whole catalogue of Wham! and Boy George, I called for the elevator once more, which this time was empty.

    I boarded the elevator and then looked at the panel, which didn't have numbers or any letters to indicate where I would be going. I pressed the lowest button to hope that it would take me to the group floor. But once again, I was forced to witness an ugly sight.



    Toilet Asian: Hey! I am doing a poop-poop! Reave me arone!!
    Niko: Haven't I seen you before?
    Toilet Asian: No! Now go away!

    He said, as I pressed another random button, hoping for the next one it wouldn't be another weird account, but as the elevator stopped a voice over came off the speakers.

    Voice: Sent to prison by a military court for a crime they didn’t commit, these men promptly escaped from a maximum security by going a sewer pipe to the Asian underground.
    Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as unwanted soldiers of fortune.
    If you have a 'probrem' - If the original team can't help – and if you can find their midget asses - you can hire the Midget A-Team!

    After the voice over was done, I felt really anxious and get pressing any button I could to escape...



    THE MIDGET A-TEAM!!!

    Niko: F not midgets!!!

    I screamed as the doors finally closed. Feeling more relaxed, I leant back as gas entered the small containment making me feeling sleepy, I fell to my knees as the gas soon faded away the doors opened once more with a figure standing over me, but due to my eye lids feeling so heavy I wasn't able to see anything but a foggy figure before darkness descended over my vision.



    Let this River flow,
    And at lest he shall Rise!!


    The voices. The dreaded words that was silent for so long, once echoed in my head. And as I groggly woke up, I tensed my arms only to realise that I was tied onto an old fashioned. Trying to shift my weight by rocking side to side, I came to realise that the chair itself was attached to the cement floor. As my eyes adjusted, I got to see the person who was to blame for all of this!

    Spoiler!


    After sorting out the whole kidnapping mishap, it was straight into the next cup friendly, which I decided that due to the closeness of the last game, and because the team we would be facing, which was my former employers THES Sport, had become such a talentless side since I left them, I wanted to stick to the same team and tactics – with the back four being strong last team, but hoping the attack can click together and gain some goals:



    Saturday 28th July 2012
    Boltsky Cup Semi-Final
    Newark v. THES Sport

    4-0
    ( Van der Voom '13 '24, Wato '44, Sulonen '90)
    MoM: H. Van der Voom

    A match were blitz them, with the attack in full sync as Henderson, The Eejit and Hernandez helping the goalscorers, feeding the thirteen attempts consistently, it was only a matter of 'how many' rather then 'if'. But it was Van der Voom who was alert to score a brace, and the midfielder hunter Wato, who scored his third goal of the pre-season, who sealed the win at the end of the first half. And also shockingly, it was Wato's half-time replacement who scored the final goal, with a brilliantly struck half-volley from a beautiful worked goal from Henderson.

    And due to Bradford losing on penalties to Blackpool after a thrilling 2-2 draw, it meant we had to face the English Championship side in the final. I was wary that we had to beat them, or otherwise the owner might do something drastic! For the side I put out, I was enforced to make one change with Hemphill playing on the left side attack instead of O'Toibin, who was tired with the short timing between the two games – which could have been said for the rest of the team – but still the team was otherwise unchanged:



    Sunday 29th July 2012
    Boltsky Cup Final
    Newark v. Blackpool

    0-2
    (K. Phillips '44, M. Phillips '85)
    Hoolihan sent off '48
    MoM: M. Phillips

    The superiority of the team was clear, cutting us down to only four attempts on goals, but having over eleven free-kicks. We were able to contain them for forty-four minutes, but was deceived by a brilliant solo goal from experienced striker Kevin Phillips, with Wood only able to parry the original shot, but he was able to capitalise on the rebound. The defence gave him too much space, and it bit us on the ass.

    I tried to get them pumped up for the second half, but Hoolihan's red card burst the bubble, enforcing me to make tactical changes that worked to stabilise the team, but seemed to suppress the attacking players, making it hard for the side to equalise. We were able to keep all of Blackpool's attack at bay, which often was influenced by Matt Philips, but eventually he was able to break down the defence as the seal the win for the superior team.

    And as I thought, a day after the match, I was called in by Yermolai for my punishment for failing to win the second trophy. I was called into the office which felt more like a judgement room then an office, with the same large demeaning figure in the chair.



    Yermolai: You have failed me, Nikolavski. I am disappointed that you were not able to succeed at my simple instruction to do. For this, you will have to pay.
    Niko: What the hell? Do you think I can s miracles?! I did the best that was possible from inexperienced players against a superior team, and with ten men on the field!
    Yermolai: I have taken that under consideration. And, I have decided for something less sinister then I originally thought of.

    Soon, A Mexican Character was dragged into the room, and put right next to the window, alongside another person who I hadn't seen before.



    As the Mexican, who was gagged, was being splashed with gasoline, the other man sat in a seat under the large glass window above watching. He then turned to myself, with his hands down his pants and smiling more weirder then Justin Bieber. Soon the Mexican was put on fire and ran around the room like a cheetah on fire. But soon, he carcass dropped onto the floor with only little flames still ignite in the ashes.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! They killed AMC!
    Weirder Person: Oh yes! Those kinky bs!

    He said, with a strange face and his pants now wet, taking a deep inhale, which made one ember of the flame rise onto the rope that was attached to the unfinished built flat screen television attached to the left wall of the room, which was close to the weird guy but not enough to crush. As the TV fell onto the ground, one piece of plastic broke off the casing, and then bounced off the wall and smashing the glass ceiling, forcing the glass to fall down, but the weird guy quickly hid under the table and was safe, as were both myself and Yermolai as we stood out reach of the falling shards of glass. The weird guy then crawled out of the table, cutting his hands in the process but was otherwise specifically safe. Except for the next moment, my instincts kicked in, and behind me was.



    Was a midget holding a tact knife. As he jumped at me, I spun leaving him to crash straight into the weird guy, who feel backwards into the window that overlooked the car-park behind him. With the force of the midget's weight and his own weight the window smashed and he fell down straight onto of a car.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! You killed AMC!
    Midget: Ah B!

    He said picking himself up, and then picking the knife up again.

    Midget: Wrong person!

    He said, once again jumping at me, but instinctively I kicked the midget with as much as I could, sending him fly out of the same broken window as the weird guy. As he fell out, I turned towards Yermolai, who looked unimpressed and nodded towards me as a sign to leave, as his sipped his vodka. I nodded back and left, with one thing in my head.

    Niko: (mumbling) I fing hate midgets!

    As I walked down to the car park, I saw which car they had fell ontop, as had to laugh.



    It was Riley's Ferrari, which made it more a better end to the day then I thought. As I got out my packet of Richmond’s and lit a cigarette, I smiled at the thought that maybe this place wasn't going to be as bad as I had thought.

    But then again, the season had yet to start.
    Last edited by ZanSnake; 26-04-13 at 02:06 AM.

  5. #130

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    Classic Niko !
    Great to have him back.

    You do know that there is no official record for number of AMC deaths in a single post

  6. #131

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    My brain has just exploded.

  7. #132

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark View Post
    My brain has just exploded.
    Hopefully in a good way lol

  8. #133
    ebfatz is offline Social Media Bod
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    Hell of an update!

  9. #134

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    Awesome. I'm getting some serious weird looks from people in the office, especially when someone saw the midget A-team pic

  10. #135
    316'sRegen Unattached
    Appeal the unjust sending off of Hoolihan!

  11. #136

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    I am a bit behind with my coursework, but i will start writing new updates either some point tonight, tomorrow or Thursday, being posted either Friday or some point at the weekend. I have a lot of wacky ideas in mind, which is good, as well as alot of 'catching' up to do in terms of in-game play and writing, so expect some kind of onslaught of updates at some point.

  12. #137

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    I will be writing a interview which will recap the happenings in TEJ, with a somewhat closed ending to it, which hopefully will tie in any questions to future references within the future updates that some might not be able to understand. Again, some story-lines will inter-cross from TEJ, so hopefully this will outline the importance. BUT, they won't be intervene till LONG way down the line. Only the Midgets storyline will intervene now.

    Yay for me!

  13. #138

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    Last Updated: 1st August 2012
    Exclusive Interview with Newark's Niko Bergstrom



    The controversial manager who made an impact on the world of football, despite the FIFA's goal of removing his successes from history, sat down with James McDonald for an exclusive interview with the media shy twenty-five year old.

    Thanks for allowing Sky Sports to interview, especially since you seem to have a vendetta with the media since you came here.


    It only hasn't started here, I have been avoiding doing public interviews since I was at HyPS [Finnish Club Hyvinkään Palloseura], it all stemmed from false reports of me being in a gang war and me shagging a monkey, among other things. Hopefully the British media isn't as bad.

    Well, I assure you that we wouldn't be talking about such things. You started being a manager nearly seven years ago, where you started at the age of 18 years old. How did it feel to have such a pressured job at such a young age? And, what have you learnt from the experience in the last seven years?

    Well, of course I had a year and a half out to become a musician which failed hopelessly, but I was an optimistic young hotshot, and I really didn't let the pressure get onto me. In my first season we made the play-offs but lost in the semi-final, which was a large blow, but since then I have made a massive improvement with my knowledge of the footballing world, and I am sure that the success I have had at both HyPS and THES Sport [Belgian club K.V.V Tessenderlo Sport] will help guide me to success here at Newark.

    You have had a lot of reported heated exchanges with chairmen in the past, what is the difference between then and now at Newark? And how does Yermolai [Relikovic] operate as the owner?

    Of course when you have some dickheads as bosses, it will result in one thing: the sack. It happened at HyPS when I was forced to leave despite the club being third in the top division in their first season there! And, with THES Sport, I took them to Europa League, but I had already had enough of football then.

    Yermolai is more ambitious, and more rich. This is the first time I will be able to spend money in a large frequency if I am allowed to next season, but he is somewhat overly-invested in the club, which I hope won't result in the sack. I will feel so ashamed for the club to have a reputation for letting go such a young and talented manager as myself, just because the chairman has no patience!


    Yes, you can't buy or loan this season, as written into the contract between the club and the FA to allow the club to join the Blue Square Premier League, how does it feel having that restriction on your head?


    Well, it doesn't bother me. I am sure that I will be able to get the title this season with the squad I have – which they showed in pre-season that they can whoop anyone's ass, if they are motivated too. The only problem I have is to consistently chose I squad for the season due to the large amount of players I have in the pecking order. Hard choices, but good choices to have!


    Good, good. In the past it seemed that your personal life has interfered with your career, yet there are no exact details into what happened to you to alter your career, what actually happened?

    Well it is a long, and seemingly Endless tale, but in a jiff. I was recruited into football by what-i-thought-then was a religious cult into football, which of course I didn't know owned the club, and the owner who was named Jules was a pothead. He was a member of the gang called Phetrovolgy, who seemed to be bugging me in terms of email, mail and sending people to kidnap me. I am sure I was kidnapped like six times!

    Anyway, I was kidnapped by who I thought was my friend Jesper, but who was really a clone of him after the original was killed – I was so sad back then, such a little pussy! And so I was forced to kill the clone – which was such an adrenaline rush! And I also had Jules daughter Alarna on my side, who was cheating on me with my friend Mori.

    Mori as in the famous singer Mori Moo?

    Yep. Anyway, it turned out the Alarna was shagging Jules, who was meant to be in a civil relationship with a man named Phetrov – again, I was so frigging stupid! She kidnapped me, and Mori broke me free showing his loyalty to me as someone trying to take down Phetrovology.

    We then killed all the Brazilian workers, and kidnapped Phetrov, with myself throwing him off a cliff – which turned out to be one of the two clones of the original Phetrovology co-founder. After that Jules stopped the act as a junkie, and fired me. But that was apart of the plane to get me to go to Belgian club THES Sport, which was ran by a sex crazed maniac named Theodore Eejit, who, guess what? Turned out to be a clone!

    The original was a spy which worked with my spy parents, who I didn't know was spies, but they were kidnapped by Phetrovology leader 'M', he cloned himself in order to hide but brainwashed his clone to act like a loyalist to Phetrovology so one day he could come back and take the organisation down.

    Soon he and I started to build a rebellion group to fight against Phetrovology, which at the same time I found out I had a kid with my ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-ex-girlfriend Cerina Relikovic, non-relation hopefully. But during the planning, we were attacked by a homeless guy named AK-16 who turned out to be the other clone of Phetrov, being the scientific side of his brain, with the other clone being the decoy false second in command. Around this time, a guy named Zan started showing up like a ninja, I was attacked by midgets and I started to have a fascination with broccoli. Please don't get me started on the midgets!


    You do know, we want to talk about FOOTBALL?


    Anyway, the broccoli was from a syndicate within Phetrovology's financial aid which kidnapped my son and murdered, with my other kid, yep I had two, being safely saved by this Zan, who turned out to be my brother from another dimension, freaky!

    Anyway, soon after that, I started hearing voices, and I started to get more thrilling and cool, and liked to fight. My instincts started to get better, more athletic, and stuff. I become, well the AWESOME me now! Soon we started to plan the official attack on the HQ of Phetrovology, with the added help of a demented but sexy and a good shag in bed clone code named 'Lucia'.

    The day of the attack, I was retired as a footballer, Cerina and my son went off to China to become Monks after the pain they went through, so I had no ties except for my parents who was kidnapped by Phetrovology. We were able to break in, and shut down the device, but the voices in my head seemed to turn me into a sadistic killer, making me shoot at Eejit as we reached the office with 'M'.

    Soon, we discovered he had known of our plan and escaped before we could kill him, but we were able to shut off the facility. I soon found out some shocking things though, that I was chosen as a child to be the successor for 'M', being brainwashed to have secret code that will heighten my instinct, and basically become a killer. The whole thing I went through was also planned, the sense of killing my friend's clone, Phetrov, my son being killed, and the endless amount of murders was to make me into a cold-hearted killer and be, what they call 'the evolved example of what man could be without morals tying humanity down'.

    I also discovered that only my mother was captive and she had been dead for over twenty years, and that my father has been in hiding ever since! Strange! Anyway, there plan was also to send different clones of myself into other dimensions, with their own plans to become coldless killers, so that they could 'help' humanity in other time-lines, which Zan was one of accordingly, involved in a mafia-world or something, but was able to escape at the right moment.

    In the end we EMP'd the facility and blew up the facility, the rest of the group eliminated the other minor facilities, and went our separate ways. I went into music, Eejit disappeared, most went to death, and I also had a two year sex relationship with Lucia, whilst cheating on her with Lindsay Lohan, big MISTAKE! Bitch's crazy! And then, I was called to come to England.

    And that's it!


    I feel like my brain had been rumbled. Why isn't this a film? Why haven't you been arrested for killing so many people? You MURDERER!

    Technically I mostly killed clones, and also I was given a license to kill by Eejit who was an agent of the secret which is located at

    Riiiight. Anyway, thank you for talking with us. Hopefully we can talk once more, next time about football.

    This has been quite simply pleasant.

    Good.

    This interview has been conducted, reviewed and signed off by our lawyers. There has been evidence to support Mr. Bergstrom's claims, meaning his life has been pretty fed up, with so many questions still unanswered. SkySports would like to apologise for the lack of sport related material within this sport interview, but as it was an exclusive and we were forced by the contract, we had to post it here.

    Will Niko's goal of a title be a dream of reality? With the season round the corner, only time will tell!


  14. #139

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    I'm exhausted after reading that, great work!

  15. #140

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    Great work ZS.

  16. #141

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    The First Journey
    Chapter Two:
    Rolling Into A Deep Pile of...


    It had been a weird month leading up to the start of the season, with the reappearance of the midgets, deaths of people named AMC and attaining the friendship of a North Korea psychopathic leader. It seemed even worse with the interview I did for the Sky Sports, with want seemed to be a retarded writer, but all-in-all, I couldn't wait for the football to actually start and to turn my attentions to what I was so good at – at being a football manager.

    The first game was against fellow rivals for the title Hereford, who had the home advantage. Basing the tactic, I decided that in order to get more attacking options for the third end of the field, I needed to play with an attacking midfielder who would play off the lone striker, to play a role ala Frank Lampard doing a late run in to finish off the chances that are rebounded. For this I have quite a lot of choices, Zannit, Hemphill, and even some strikers. Ultimately I decided that Hemphill, who seem a larger threat on the right wing, wouldn't be the second striker role, giving to one of the more deadlier finishers in the team: Kowalinho – who added also some good dribbling skills to help with attacks as well.

    For the back line, I didn't want to change that much due to the success of only conceding two gaols all pre-season, be was enforced due to an injury to Jose Hernandez, with Liam playing at right back instead. Both Eejit and Wato holding the midfield area, with O'Toibin coming in as the left winger due to the lacklustre performance he had against Blackpool, as well as fitness. In the end the team sheet looked like this:



    I was confident that we would able to upset the favourites, and earn a good start to the season. Before the kick-off, I decided to give an dramatic and inspirational team talk to ensure that the lads would be able to win.



    Niko: Lads, I know they are the favourites, I know we are the unknown team, I know that we are written off as a group of individuals rather then a team: but let's prove them wrong. Go out there, prove yourselves and prove this club to what we will stand for!

    The lads seemed inspired, and looked like they would be up for the challenge, however....

    Saturday 18th August 2012
    English Conference

    Hereford v. Newark
    4 – 4
    (Bowman '27, Smikle '38, Facey '45, Clist '45)(Ediz '6 '40, Kowalinho '9, Baz '82)
    MoM – R. Bowman

    The defence didn't seem to take the hint, allowing ourselves to 4-3 down at half-time after such a good early lead. Hemphill's low cross was met by the pace of Ediz whose left foot powered the ball into the net after six minutes, and Kowalinho doing his job striking the rebound after Ediz's shot was saved on the ninth minute. But then Bowman and Smikle drove the team on for Hereford and brought the score to 2-2 after thirty-nine minutes, however we was able to lead after a charging run from left back Baz, whose cross was met with the head of Edin to give us the lead.

    But once again, the defence seemed to fall asleep towards the end of the half, allowing Facey and Clist to seal the lead in stoppage time. At half-time I cursed the team for being unfocused without the ball, allowing them to have too much time on the ball and giving away so many free-kicks. I subbed both Wood and Liam for Shepard and Henderson, hoping the introduction of Henderson will give Hemphill more support in attack as well as his pace to be able to back-track the right hand side, where the majority of Hereford's attack was coming from!

    In the end the changes had made a positive effect, making ourselves more attacking options and make fluent movements with one another, only to be denied from two great defensive performances from Gallinagh and Carruthers. However on the eighty-second minute a beautiful lobbed pass from Wato unleashed Baz in the box, which he coolly finished to make sure we had sealed a point, and give us a dramatic ending to an exciting introduction to the English footballing world.

    At the end of the match, both sets of supporters applaud the terrific attacking-minded game that they had witnessed, which added more fuel for the second encounter we would have on Boxing day, which would be hosted at our home.



    The celebrating didn't last long though as we soon had another game just around the corner against Hyde. Feeling somewhat pleased with our performance in the last game, I decided to make only two changes: Eejit would be dropped for Clayton, and Shepard would play in goal instead of Wood, who made some many mistakes it made a referee look like a saint!

    BobMem was also stripped as the captain for Hemphill, who seemed to have made a larger impression on the coaches and the players in training, then BobMem, who seemed to have accepted. With a couple of tactical changes, the team looked ready for their first home game:



    With Hyde also drawing on the first day of the season, it seemed like both teams had enough of a reason to go all-out, but with ourselves having the home advantage.

    Tuesday 21st August 2012
    English Conference
    Newark v. Hyde

    3-0
    (Wato '9, Kowalinho '11 '25)
    MoM – E. Wato

    A brilliant team performance in the first half made the impression clear to the home fans: WE ARE COMING FOR THE TITLE, AND WITH STYLE!! Man of the Match was a constant threat, scoring from a superb free-kick on the 9th minute for the first goal, before a brilliant team goal as Liam played in Hemphill, who once again, did a low driven cross into the box which fell to the on-running Kowalinho, who buried it nicely into the back of the next 11 minutes into the game. Hemphill was a constant threat on the right wing, but it was Wato who lobbed the ball forward for Kowalinho to seal the win 25 minutes into the half.

    The second half was the same onslaught, consistently testing the oppositions keeper who was on constant alert. But come the end of the game, we had done it. We had our first win ever in our first home game, and the crowd went mental as the team took a lap of the stadium, with the 4,068 fans chanting 'Newark is coming!'



    One fan was so excited he actually had an heart attack in the middle of the stand! As the crowd watched on, he grabbed onto his chest and struggled to crawl to the end of the walk way, before dropping over the rail and hitting the floor hard.

    Niko:
    Oh My God! Nature killed AMC!
    Riley: Mother-Nature B!

    Dedicating the next game to our fallen comrade, I decided that to ensure that the team was fully fit and that there would be no hissy fits, I made a large amount of changes. Henderson played at left wing, Zbimg played in the second striker role as Van der Voom would be the lone striker and Vasily, who seemed preoccupied with trying to visit the chairman for some reason, played in the centre of the park. Hemphill continued as captain, as Hernandez was handled the right back role after coming back from a thigh strain. The team seemed to be determined to win for the fan that had died!



    Saturday 25th August 2012
    English Conference
    Southport v. Newark

    0-3
    (Van der Voom '20 '45, Ediz '90)
    MoM – H. Van der Voom

    Another superb attacking display, with the lone striker once again taking the spot light, Van der Voom making an impressive impression on his debut. Once again the assist machine was Hemphill who gained another assist by a perfect pass into substitute Ediz, on the 90th minute, with Vasily and BobMem helping Van der Voom grab a brace on the 20th and 45th minute – with the away support going mental, as one fans started screaming so loud his mentally burst the brain of the other fan sitting aside of his, who collapsed inward into the crowd as was soon his corpse crowd-surfing up and down the stand, to one side to the other and back again.



    Niko: Oh My God! That fan killed AMC!
    Riley: Predictable b!

    With us find such good form towards the end of the month, I decided to take advantage by resting some players and allowing more playing time, with both Zannit and Wato starting the game instead of sitting on the bench, swapping for Van der Voom and Vasily dropping to the bench despite some good performances in the last game. Ediz also starting, finding out his work permit might drop if he was under played which added more reason for a rotation for the lone striker role, which both he and Van der Voom seemed determine to make their own!



    Once again, hoping to take advantage of the recent death of a fan, I decided to dedicate the game to the memory of the fan that had died – which I thought would make the performance stronger since we were playing at home!

    Wednesday 29th August 2012
    English Conference
    Newark v. Woking

    2-1
    (Henderson '48, Hemphill '54)(Sole '90)
    MoM – G. Sole

    A rather secluded match in comparison of our other games this month, we had finally conceded a goal with Shepard between the posts. The game was split down the middle with each side have seven shots on goal, but we were more accurate in finding the back of the net, though we had less attempts on-target. Both our wingers were the ones who scored, with three changes on the 80th minute hoping to seal a third goal: Kowalinho, Eejit and Van der Voom coming on for Zannit, Clayton and Ediz but weren't really invested into the game as I would hope, and Woking finally able to seal one of their shots with a goal in the last kick of the game by there main threat, Sole.

    The game was rather buzzing the crowd, but fortunately there wasn't another tragedy as the crowd just chanted 'Undefeated, Undefeated, Undefeated, Right Now!” in the tune of Hey Hey Goodbye, which was a nice thing to see.

    As the end of the month came, I got a memo from Babe Cummings saying that Yermolai was happy at the progress we had made, and expected us to keep progressing into September. He also outlined that he wanted to win either the FA Trophy or Vans Trophy, which I didn't know if we were even able to qualify for!

    After a meeting with the coaches about who was progressing nicely in training, I retired back to my flat, tired and exhausted, knowing that nothing could be waiting for me there, but I was surprised when I opened the door with someone waiting for me.



    Niko: What the hell? How did you get in here? Why are you in here? And, what a nice ass you have!
    Woman: I can't believe it! Nikolavski Bergstrom, I am such a fan of what you have done the club!
    Niko: Oh, so your a fan?

    I said nonchalantly, tossing my sports bag onto the floor and leaning against the door frame, which was only three feet taller then me as I am six foot three.

    Woman: Yes! I don't know if your in a relationship or anything, but....
    Niko: But?
    Woman: Would you f me? I mean, if you are in a relationship it would only be a one night stand, and it would make my dreams come true!
    Niko: Well, I am not one to turn down to making dreams a reality!

    With that said she jumped up glee, and ran towards me with her mouth in the perfect 'O' position, but she then tripped on my fur carpet, bounced off my plasma television, which fell and broke onto my floor, and backed through my glass door, cutting herself in the process.

    Woman: I am blind!

    She screamed as she backed further hitting her fine ass onto the rail of the balcony, and then flipped over the rail and fell to her death, failing onto my Fiat Punto that was parked below. In shock and concern of the drive-ability of my car, I rushed to the blacony to see her fine body scattered across the ground.

    Niko: Oh no! Not my Faggy Fiat!

    And then it sudden realised to me!

    Niko: Oh My God! I killed AMC!
    Neighbour: You b!

    Another moment passed, which seemed to be a nice silent tribute to the fine-assed woman that laid across the floor, as well as the sty car that was crush within the impact, before my neighbour asked.

    Neighbour: Who?
    Niko: An Amazingly Marvelous Chick.

    And so I retired to bed, not wanting to clean the mess that was made, and not thinking about the hot woman I could have been porking away at all night and day.

    Table:

    Code:
    ************************************************************************************************
     English Conference - Wednesday 29th August 2012
    ************************************************************************************************
    
    
    ================================================================================================
     2012/3 Table
    ================================================================================================
    
    Pos     Team                            Pld  Won  Drn  Lst  For  Ag   Won  Drn  Lst  For  Ag   Pts
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    1st     Luton                           4    2    0    0    2    0    2    0    0    5    1    12   
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    2nd     Newark                          4    2    0    0    5    1    1    1    0    7    4    10   
    3rd     Hereford                        4    1    1    0    7    5    2    0    0    6    2    10   
    4th     Telford Utd                     4    1    1    0    6    2    1    0    1    2    2    7    
    5th     Woking                          4    1    1    0    4    1    1    0    1    2    2    7    
    6th     Kidderminster                   4    1    0    1    4    3    1    1    0    5    4    7    
    7th     Barrow                          4    1    1    0    4    1    1    0    1    3    5    7    
    8th     Stockport                       4    1    0    1    4    4    1    1    0    2    1    7    
    9th     Mansfield                       4    1    1    0    2    1    1    0    1    4    5    7    
    10th    Forest Green                    4    1    0    1    1    3    1    1    0    4    3    7    
    11th    Cambridge Utd                   4    1    0    1    3    3    1    0    1    4    2    6    
    12th    Grimsby                         4    1    1    0    5    4    0    2    0    4    4    6    
    13th    Ebbsfleet Utd                   4    1    0    1    3    4    1    0    1    2    3    6    
    14th    Wrexham                         4    1    1    0    6    3    0    1    1    3    6    5    
    15th    Newport                         4    0    1    1    2    3    1    0    1    2    1    4    
    16th    Hyde                            4    1    1    0    7    4    0    0    2    2    6    4    
    17th    Braintree                       4    1    0    1    4    4    0    1    1    4    5    4    
    18th    Gateshead                       4    0    0    2    2    4    1    0    1    3    2    3    
    19th    Macclesfield                    4    1    0    1    2    3    0    0    2    0    6    3    
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    20th    Alfreton                        4    0    0    2    3    8    0    1    1    1    2    1    
    21st    Lincoln                         4    0    0    2    1    4    0    0    2    2    5    0    
    22nd    Southport                       4    0    0    2    0    4    0    0    2    2    6    0

  17. #142

    Join Date
    02-03-12
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    Done first post of the page, updated with brief description what the story is about and links to every update/post i have done about the story. Will add a player list as well as the staff stuff about the club some point tomorrow.

    I will also add another update again tomorrow before starting on the Third chapter.

    Hopefully this will be worth a nomination for Member of the Month

    I joke!

    Enjoy the chapter, and reply if ya have any feedback to give, like any suggestions for improvement or your general thoughts. Until then, stay tuned for more!!

  18. #143

    Join Date
    31-10-11
    Posts
    29,427
    Good stuff mate. Was going to complain about being on the bench and helping to make a 'positive effect' by coming on in the first game but on the bench again in the next. But I'm happy to have then been played in my favourite position on the wing and grabbing my first goal

    I was going to say, AMC is a girl?

  19. #144
    ebfatz is offline Social Media Bod
    Former Holy Trinity Member
    Stories Mod

    Join Date
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    Good stuff mate.
    Squad rotation doesn't seem to be affecting the players.

    Might walk this division, although I fear there may be a few obstacles put in the way.

  20. #145

    Join Date
    04-03-12
    Posts
    4,250
    Cracking start! Shame about the 4-4 which cost me the armband though. I think deep down I knew I didn't have the qualities to be a leader of men

    KUTGW and keep finding new and novel ways to kill AMC!

  21. #146

    Join Date
    13-06-12
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    Amazing start of the season, even though Zbimg is a sub. Play him up front Nikolavski!

  22. #147

    Join Date
    03-03-12
    Posts
    53
    Very good start for us already.

  23. #148

    Join Date
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    Prime Minister: Niko is in the clear!


    Simon Cowell says Niko Bergstrom's “In the Clear”

    By Tomas Manly at London
    Published: THURSDAY 3Oth AUGUST 2012

    The Prime Minister has come out to declare that football manager Niko Bergstrom, 25, is in the clear after in an interview he revealed his past of murdering and causing harm to others along side his managerial adventures in both Finland and Belgium, before coming to England.

    After a revealing interview with SkySports, Bergstrom, who is currently managing Blue Square Premier League side Newark Athletic who are second after the first month of the season, detailed a large and extraordinary past in which he explained himself as a changed person as well as killer, believing that he was justified because most the people he killed 'where clones' and that he had a license to kill from a governmental power.

    In response form the public outcry that emerged from the new, the Prime Minister, former Television panel judge, Simon Cowell, came out in defence for the twenty-five year old.

    “I have spoken to both the Finnish and Belgium leaders who have made sure that Mr Bergstrom indeed was working for them, in a spy occupation. I have gained news that indeed Mr Bergstrom did stop a terrorist faction though the leader of which was in hiding.”

    Cowell also said: “But I do warn him that because he is now within the borders of my country, he still has to register like every other citizen within this nation – and that is to publicly perform a song on national television where the citizens can cry at his emotional back story and also having the opportunity to laugh at his bad singing voice.”

    With all the negative backlash being aimed at the club that hired Mr Bergstrom without disclosing the knowledge of his horrific background, Newark Athletic Club Representitive Babe Cummings said:



    “The club would like to ensure that they had no information residing about the background of Mr Bergstrom, hiring him entirely based upon his accomplishments in the football industry and no information about his personal ordeals outside the occupation that was given to him previously.

    The board and myself want to make sure that we support our hiring of Mr Bergstrom, and in now way will this interfere with his handling of the football team in the next couple of football matches ahead.”

    And when asked about being a Page 3 model, Babe responded: “I do not want to take such a degrading occupation. I am pleased with my current employment, and I am dumb-founded at the thought that just because my mother was a porn star and legally changed her name for her porn name, even having aspirations of myself going into the 'family business', I see the questions as sexist and vulgar.”

    Niko Bergstrom responded to the public outcry, as well as the possibility of Babe Cummings: “It is ridiculous to even think that these people would believe such tripe!”

    So it is clear that Mr Bergstrom doesn't seem to like the citizens of England? So why should he stay here! The Sun has now started a campaign against Niko Bergstrom being employed and living in England, join today by selling your soul to Rupert Murdoch!


  24. #149

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    The First Journey
    Chapter Three:
    Marching On!


    After more off-field related stuff interfering with the next month, and with no car after the tragedy that happened to the hot ass and the faggy Fiat I used to own, I was called in by the club to speak with Yermolai and Babe about what was detailed as a 'personal fiasco', which stemmed from the campaign ran by the newspaper (if you could call it that!) The Sun.

    Getting a taxi to the stadium, and walking into the board meeting room, I was greeted by both an angry Yermolai...



    And the beautiful Babe, who seemed to be as emotionless and distant as every other time I had spoken or seen her – though I wouldn't mind to see her in my bed sheets!



    As soon as I sat to the large oval table, with Yermolai and Babe sitting at the other end, I could sense an atmosphere full of tension, knowing that this wasn't going to be one of our more humorous conversations with one another.

    Babe: Niko, as you know there has been a lot of negativity towards the club due to your past experience, which you withheld from the club. We want to ensure that we know all the details of your past, so that they cannot have any more negative prejudice towards the club.

    I was dumbfounded, if Yermolai know about Phetrov then surely he must have known the rest of the story?

    Niko: I can tell you face-to-face, that I have no skeletons within my closet. I have given all the information about my past in that interview, and I am quite annoyed that the media has once again used myself as a scapegoat!

    Yermolai: Nikolavski! Don't lie! We had had a large amount of phone-calls and emails entailing your past, which you have lied about! If you do not speak the truth, then we will terminate this!

    Speaking in a normal toned voice, you can tell he was hiding his anger under his breath due to Babe's appearance. You could tell he wasn't talking about 'terminating' my employment, but rather myself.

    Niko: My name is Niko Bergstrom, not Nikolavski, or Nikolas, or any other variant. It is just Niko! And I am feeling really annoyed that you believe the media over myself! You want my managerial skills, and I am giving them to you!

    Babe: We understand that Niko. But, we want to ensure that after this whole ordeal, we can't expect any more rumours or appearances to interfere with your dedication for your job towards the club. And also, I want to complain about your 'opinion' in me rejecting the offer from the sun to be a Page 3. That is none of your business, and I hope that you keep that in consideration next time, even though there shouldn't be a 'next time'.

    I kept quiet, as I secretly imagined her in her underwear waiting for me at my house...



    After getting a bollocking from them both, I took a taxi to see a new car, that was said to be awaiting a 'sexy' model for showing me the car. But as soon as I got out of the taxi, my vision died with what I saw!

    Spoiler!


    Niko: Argh! My eyes, they burn!

    I quickly pushed the thing over to shield my vision, which made her hit her head on the rock on the ground. As blood soured out of the wound, an even uglier man came out.



    Seller: So what do you think of my wife, AMC? and the car? Name's Lee by the way.

    He said walking round the car, stopping when he witnessed the corpse on the floor.

    Lee: Oh My Gawd! You killed AMC!
    Niko: That ugly b!

    I said pointing to the disfigured body on the blood-soaked cement path. In the end I was forced to buy the car, to ensure that he wouldn't call the police, and that he can carry on sleeping with his mistress – which I was shocked to hear about!

    But the problem was that the car itself was....

    Spoiler!


    After such a hectic start to the month, I couldn't wait for the next game away against Braintree, and inspired from our last win, I decided not to change any one from the starters against Woking, so the team looked:



    Saturday 1st September 2012
    English Conference

    Braintree v. Newark
    1-2
    (Bailey-Dennis '83)(Wato '45, Ediz '80)
    MoM – A. Bailey-Dennis

    The lack of changes helped bring a sense of stability to the team, and allowing the team to perform once again. The start of the game was very split, with each defence being alert to the attacks and stopping each attack, But thankfully, Hemphill took a free kick which was headed down by right-back Hernandez which fell perfectly for the on pursuing Wato who lashed the ball with his right foot into the back of the net in stoppage time, and giving us the lead at the end of the first half. Feeling like we didn't need a change, we charged on into the second half, with more attacks but it wasn't able to click till the 80th minute when a Henderson cross was headed in by the man in form Volkan Ediz, who once gain showed his worth for being the star striker for the team. Unfortunealty, due to some errors of Hernandez, Ryan Petters cross flew into our box which was superbly volleyed into the back of the net by Man of the Match defender Bailey-Dennis on the 83rd minute, meaning we had lost the opportunity of a clean sheet.

    The fans was pleased once again with the result, despite with the home fans support for the stupid 'Sun campaign' with banners and chants aimed at myself, which I felt made the team spur on more, with the total seven other games within the month. For the next game, I decided to rotate the lone striker role once more with the deadly finisher Kowalinho up-front, making the team nearly identically the same:



    Monday 3rd September 2012
    English Conference
    Newark v. Newport

    1-0
    (Van der Voom '90)
    MoM – A. Julian

    Denied by an amazing performance from the Man of the Match goalkeeper Julian, we were kept at bay all the way through, with our own complancey costing us by missing the target or Julian saving like Spiderman and jumping around to save any shots on targt we had for the first half of the match. With only one change, Zannit off for Van der Voom, we went with a more attacking threat, with nice link-up play between Kowalinho and Van der Voom, even though it wasn't able to get a goal. Fortunately, tired legs cost Newport the three points as Van der Voom pounced on a mistake by right-back David Pipe, allowing Wato to take a shot on target which was saved by Julian but was blasted into the top corner on the rebound by Van der Voom in the 90th minute, sealing another win under our belt and another great decision by myself.

    The fans went wild as we continued to establish ourselves as title contenders.



    With a much needed five day break until the next game against rivals Mansfield, I decided to get some tactical advice from my coaches. They started to discuss about not having the second striker run behind the lone-striker as it would give the opposition the opportunity to counter attack, and if we were against a more deadlier could be a real problem – taking there advice, I decided to test out the latest tactic in the next game, seeing how the theory would work and making the decision if the tactic would stick, based on the decision.



    Inspired by the recent run of form, and seeing that the team would perfectly suit the new role, especially Zannit who looked perfect to suit that advanced play-maker esque position, I chose the same team that narrowly won against Newport, hoping that I would get more of an idea who would be involved in the first eleven as other spots would be rotated.



    Mansfield, who was odd on to be a mid-table team for the season, had form which seemed to represent that, and something which I hoped we could take advantage of!

    Saturday 8th September 2012
    Enlgish Conference
    Mansfield v. Newark

    0-0
    MoM – G. Pilkington

    A disappointing bore draw, in which the whole highlight of the game was us having two shots on target of the goal. Mansfield went into the game for the one point and they got it, going defensive from the get go, which made us nervous and unable to break down there attacks. No matter how much cursing I did on the side lines, the team's performance didn't improve and in the end – the home team got what they were seeking for.

    After the game, the bus was silent as the coaches looked straight out of the windows trying to ignore the eyes that were set heavy on them by me. But in the end, it was my fault. I wanted to trust them, against my bitter judgement, and even though I had hoped a win over the local rivals, a draw did us good – maybe my perfectionism was getting in the way of my judgement? Or, maybe I was getting to cocky?

    The draw, even though didn't nerve the players, seemed to kick me up the back-side, and warned me not to be too underestimated in terms of the other teams. When we arrived at the stadium, there stood one person who stemmed out from the roaring fans who was chanting my name: Babe Cummings.



    Babe: Niko, if you would like to follow me! We have someone waiting for you in the boardroom, someone who says they is a good friend of yours?

    Niko: Can you please narrow that done?

    Babe: Yes, they also gave me something that they said would help 'identify' them.

    She then went into her purse and threw an object at me, I caught it and as I saw what was in my hand, my eyes went wide open!

    Niko: It can't be!

    TO BE CONTINUED!

  25. #150

    Join Date
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    A short one, but the last one of April, hope to add more for the first one of May

    Hope you enjoy!

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