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Thread: [STORY] A Golden and Fearless Ambition

  1. #176

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    Nothing, England

    Ate-It A Bitch!

    Man Dies of Radiation Exposure after being Eaten By Japanese Lizard

    By Tomas Manly at London
    Published: Monday 4th November 2012

    An audience member during the inauguration of Croatian football manager Niko Bergstrom has died after being exposed the radioactive stomach of legendary Asian lizard Godzilla.

    The audience member, mononymously named AMC, was watching the performance of Niko Bergstrom, 25, as he had to do the annual ceremony of performing live to the Bristish public to earn a right to within our borders. But after hearing the tragic story of Niko's life, a man wearing a tuxedo and black-glasses gate-crashed the show by riding into the arena on Godzilla, famed monster of the seas of Japan.

    After being eaten by Mr Godzilla, the monster then throw up the thirty-year-old mechanic, leaving the arena in a state of confusion and otherwise looking healthy. But after nearly a week, he has died due to the radioactive nature of the monster.

    Dr Some Thing, from the Institute of Radiation Activity, or IRA, described the process of radioactive poisonings effect on the human body.

    Doctor Some Thing at an IRA Rally

    “At first, the infected seemed to be unharmed by the radioactive sleeper substances within their bodies. However, after fourty-eight hours, they display symptons of extreme eccentricity. They will start by listening to Canadian pop-singer Justin Bieber, then reacting the famous 'Goodbye Horses' scene from Silence of The Lamb, before finding comfort in the thought of shagging Susan Boyle.”

    AMC's neighbour, monoymous named Fodster, described similar strange activites coming from his former neighbour: “I was awoken at 1 pm by the loud noises of someone singing along to 'Baby' by that pathetic vocalist Justin Bieber. Then, I was amazed as I opened my door with a naked AMC with his penis tucked between his thighs asking 'will you fuck me?' and then instantly stating 'I would fuck me!'.”

    When asked about the final sympton, Mr Fodster replied: “I don't know. After feeling like your going to be raped, most people would run away from the place where it was most likely going to happen, and live in Australia!”

    Fodster, who now resides in the land of Oz, described AMC as a very 'unfortunate' person.

    “He always seemed to have accidents, like falling down a flight of stairs, or having a piano drop on his head, but always seemed to be able to wake up the next morning.”

    AMC, after having a masturbation session over what police said, based upon the last searches on his personal compuer, of Scottish monster Susan Boyle, soon throw up green vomit all over himself, before his eyes exploded and suffering a brain aneurysm which, according to Dr Some Thing, leads to the final conclusion of radioactivity from a mythological creature.

    “From these monsters, or creatures as some might state, comes a very scientific and unrealistic level of deep exposure of radioactive waste which the monsters, in their mythological ways, live off. Due to humans undevelopment of resistance to such radioactive levels, our ego system breaks down, and we find ourselves to a point of no return. Before we sick off what we have done, literally, in which the substances of the vomit is minuet levels of radiaction, hence why the whole street had to be quarantined and many of the to be anally tested for any radioactivity posioning.”

    Fodster: Safety Check Reminded Him of Early Years

    In which Mr Fodster was one of whom had to be tested for radioactive acticity, in which he described as: “it reminded me of when I was apart of the Catholic choir, and when I used to stay over at my uncle Jimmy's and his late night visits.”

    In reponse of his death, Niko claimed:”Oh My God! Gorzilla Killed AMC!”

    Yes he did, that mutant bastard!

  2. #177

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    Normal service is resumed.

  3. #178

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    Nothing, England
    The First Journey
    Chapter Five:
    Cup Ties and Decisions

    November. To me it was a sign that this year was coming at a close, and that it had been nearly six months since I had started the job, which I have to say for myself, I am doing excellently. This month I only have four games scheduled, two in the league, one in the FA Cup against MK Dons and one in the second round of the FA Trophy:

    The FA Trophy is among the list of what was expected of me to win, with Yermolai wanting the club to win a double as many times as possible. Before the game against relegation battlers Macclesfield at Moss Rose stadium, Yermolai called me into the meeting room, surprisingly with the absence of a particular 'friend' of mine.

    Yermolai: Nikolavski, it has been a while since I have called you in. How has things been doing with the club?
    Niko: Fairly well, though I think a few players are becoming a little arrogant due to our success so far, they might not even try to cash in the team's effort and hand in a transfer request – I am ready to reject them of course. They can go during the summer, not the winter peroid!
    Yermolai: I like that attitude, it is a little disheartening they cannot respect the reputation the club is building for them. But I digress, Nikolavski, as you know I want to win both the league and the cup, and since I have been informed that we aren't actually qualified for the Vans Trophy, I just want the double.
    Niko: Easier said then done. The FA Cup has the Premier League as well as the higher divisions, and even with my knowledge of tactics - and the calibre of players we have – I don't think we can win it!
    Yermolai: No, I meant the FA Trophy! I have been informed we can only win that in this league, so I want it! And what I want, I always get, or otherwise, blood shall be spilt!

    His eyes glazed into me, like a policemen looking at the last doughnut, I felt threatened, like a child staying over at a Catholic camp.

    Niko: I will win it.

    As I was about to turn around, he clicked his fingers.

    Yermolai: I am not done yet, Nikolavski!

    I turned back round to face the large talking Potato head.

    Yermolai: With the recent attack of Godzilla, and Asian people, I have decided to hire a security 'consultant'.
    Niko: I thought YoungWolf was that.
    Yermolai: He is doing other 'work' for me.
    Niko: Any why does this matter to me?
    Yermolai: He thinks that, with your history, you are at risk the most from any future attacks by large radioactive monsters, so he will need to move you to a more secure location, as well as somewhere, he is able to watch to watchover you during the his hours.
    Niko: And you think I won't be safe?
    Yermolai: Don't you dare speak out of term to me, Nikolavski Bergstrom!
    Voice: Sir, I don't think he meant it like that – I think he doesn't like the idea of someone protecting. Maybe, this little man feels he can fight the larger things in life!

    Said an irritating man, walking past me.

    Voice: After all, he is famously killed a whole organisation by himself!

    He said in a sarcastic tone of voice.

    Yermolai: Nikolavski Bergstrom, this is-
    Voice: My name is Shepard Bennett, a former commander in the SAS, as well as other operations that I am not allowed to speak of. Nice to meet you, Niko. I have heard some 'interesting' things about you, probably more than you know yourself.
    Niko: Oh really?
    Shepard: Yep. Like the nature of the whole 'plan' of Phetrovology, as well as other things, but lets get this back on-topic. I want to move you to a location further away from the town centre, somewhere further from Newark itself, a house in the greenery. It is more open, allowing for the attacks to be seen better, well in my expertise.
    Niko: And I guess, I HAVE to move right?
    Shepard: Yes, you and your partner, Babe Cummings is it?
    Niko: Firstly, we aren't together in that sense, and secondly what makes you think I will volunteer to something like that?

    As I asked that, he pulled out a pistol aiming right for my head. He pulled the trigger, and the bullet came straight for me, using my instincts I dodged the bullet and rolled to the right, watching the bullet go out of the room a hit an intern.

    Niko: Oh My God! Shepard killed Intern AMC!
    Office Worker: That b!

    Shepard then aimed the gun at the office worker, feeling obliged to protect him, I ran up to the table, slid onto the mahogany surface, and lunged at the gun wielding psychopath. Only to met with his army standard boot, on his right leg.

    Shepard: I can see you have the instinct I have heard about, far too naturalistic to have been trained. Your courage is also commendable, but will be your downfall in terms of a potential attack. You run your decisions based upon emotion, and that is what cost you with a broken nose. And if your 'friend' Babe was in trouble, you would be in the same situation, but they wouldn't just break your nose – they would finish you off!

    Amazed at his 'expertise', I held my broken noise with my hand and just stared at an amazement of this... This level of human being. Maybe he could even rival Zan, or the other ninja clones I have encountered. Maybe..

    Yermolai: You see Nikolavski, you are too valuable to me to be dead at this time. You can die at the end of the season, but right now? That is too risky!
    Niko: Nice to know I am thought of so nicely, now if you don't mind, I have to do my job. Shepard, you do what you have to do, but if you EVER do that again, or touch anything that effects me – you won't be so lucky!

    I shouted at me, as I walked towards the door way in anger, stepping over the corpse as I marched out of the stadium. It looked like maybe I would need some potential help in the future.

    But for now, my mind was set onto the Macclesfield game. For this I wanted to bring a consistently chosen team, and with a good result in the last game, I decided to choose the same eleven, with only exception of Kowalinho who has been missing for the last few days, being replaced on the bench by Van der Voom:

    Wednesday 7th November 2012
    English Conference
    Macclesfield v. Newark

    (Murtagh '12, Holroyd '24)(O'Toibin '30, Zbimg '65)
    The Eejit Sent off '46
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    A very open first 45 minutes which was ruined by a stupid two-footed challenge from The Eejit, whose named was warranted as we had to battle not only for possession but for the point. Macclesfield started the match with a determination to win, with constant attacks which was consistently thwarted by goalkeeper Shepard, but we wasn't able to withstand the pressure for too long, and after just 12 minutes, Murtagh, their major attacking outlet throughout the whole, headed in Diagne's cross and made the under-dogs to take the lead. And once again, the onslaught happened again with Holroyd's powerful shot finding the back of the net 24 minutes in. But, we were able to get one back after some smart one-two from Ediz and O'Toibin, with the Irishman finishing off the attack with a spectacular goal half an hour into the game.

    For the second half I told the lads to press and attacking more, which in the ears of Eejit meant: “BREAK THE PLAYER'S FING LEGS!” And before we could even establish an attack, I was forced to take off Wato and replace him with Henderson, playing a five at the back with Henderson dropping into the left back position and Hernandez more central position. The defensive move worked, as the attacks were broken down and luckily O'Toibin was able to find Zbimg who volleyed the ball into the back of the net for his seventh of the season, 65 minutes on the clock. There was no more threats from Macclesfield, as Zbimg searched continuously for the remaining minutes of the game, as the away fans starting do the now annoying chant.

    Instantly, I was thinking about the last away game in the league for this month, against Alfreton, with only two changes. Due to his sending off The Eejit was dropped to the bench, as was Jose Hernandez who disappointed me with a rating of 5, with Liam playing at right-back and Hoolihan playing as a centre back:

    Saturday 10th November 2012
    English Conference
    Alfreton v. Newark

    (Van der Voom '71 '90)
    Franklin sent off 62
    Wato sent off 62

    MoM – M. Clayton

    Another game in November, another sending off, and another performance that made me worry about the game against MK Dons which was next. How was we meant to win against a stronger side if our players kept under performing and losing their anger? The match was a total bore with neither team really trying in the first half, with only one change at half-time, Zbimg being replaced by Van der Voom, I had hoped it would help influence the team more. But, on the 62nd minute Wato was headbutted in the face by Franklin, in which Wato responded by pushing him over and spitting in his face, which made the referee Bohan Finn have a clear decision – 10 men for both teams. At first we struggled with having no midfielder, but Clayton stood up to the task and was a defensive as well as an attacking outlet, Baz was the first one to contribute to the attack by hoofing the ball up-field in which Van der Voom's brilliant first touch passed two players before cooly slotting the ball into the net after 71 minutes played. Soon it was Clayton's turn to get the assist with a perfectly timed through ball tearing the home sides defence apart before Van der Voom smashed it into the bottom corner in stoppage time – 2-0 and game over.

    After thinking it over, I thought that for the next game it would be better to play a lot more attacking, with a second striker feeding the forwards, and leaving the defensive midfielder to play a more demanding role in making sure that the opposition was broken down. For this, I told Hemphill to play behind the strikers of Zbimg and Van der Voom, whom together had scored 14 goals in all competitions, them being three goals off of Ediz, and with Wato playing on the right wing to use his crossing expertise to help the team's attacks. Zannit was called to the subs bench and Ediz as well as Kowalinho had still not turned up from his little 'adventure'.

    Saturday 17th November 2012
    English FA Cup 1st Round
    MK Dons v. Newark

    (Potter '35)(Zbimg '21)
    MoM – D. Lewington

    A shockingly positive performance the lads enforced a replay against MK Dons, in which we initially took the lead through Zbimg who caught onto the lobbed pass from Hemphill as shocked the home fans by volleying the ball into the back of the net just 21 minutes into the game, sending the away fans to chant once more!

    But it was fourteen minutes later when Lewington fed the ball for Potter to make it all square, in which it remained. For the second half it was back and forth, with us having more advantage in the attacking spark, with Wato's crosses the substitute Ediz who came on for the dissapointinh Van der Voom, but never really found the edge to seal the win for us – thanks to some great defender from MK Dons and Lewington, whose leadership was clear throughout. With the replay, it meant that we would have to face MK Dons on the eve of December, just after our FA Trophy game against Grimsby.

    For that week, Shepard Bennett had started to move all my stuff into the large house he wanted me to live in.

    It was large indeed, and made all my skepticism go away, except for the fact he would be living just in the garden in a little bungalow.

    Moving the stuff was a lot easier when I told Babe, who was anxious to move out after being threatened by the crazed marmalade obsessed neighbour that was living next us, to which I just laughed off. The house was amazing, the living room seemed to be beuilt for a King! Finally I was getting recognition of my royalty of brilliance!

    In happy mood, I was one my way to the training ground, which I had to walk a majority of the way since the bus stop was so far from the actual sight, only to be stopped from the horror that was infront of me.

    The car was totaled and smelt like a Snoop Lion's den! It was clear to me I had to run, but this time there wasn't going to be a helicopter and a bad stereotype to save me, and soon I was faced with...

    Lindsay: Niko! My Niko! I have found you!

    It screamed with it arms wide open, like her legs normally are after the mention of a drug or alcoholic beverage.

    Niko: Oh hell no!

    I screamed trying to back away from the on-rushing running STD.

    Lindsay: I have crashed a plane, a boat, a mythological Japanese creature...

    At that moment of time, somewhere in the world!

    Japan 1: Oh My Gawd! Rindsay Rohan killed Godzirra!
    Japan 2: Hair that skank b!

    Back in England.

    Luckily I was able to be interrupted of my death, by someone else's. A local drug drealer who was walking naked once taking too much of his own stuff, was smashed into the lamppost, and was impaled by the large metal rod of the post. A Major Crackhead, which I thought was ironic by who was driving the car at the time.

    AMC: Wow, am I like dying? This is so weak!

    Smelling his disgusting breath, the thing suddenly rushed over to the victim of it's tragedy.

    Lindsay: Are you AMC? My pen pal from when I was a child? The same pen pal that used to send Mexicans with crack cocaine stuffed up their anus just for me?
    AMC: Are you that ginger b from Mean Girls who I used to masturbate to?
    Lindsay: Yes!! I have found who I have wanted in my whole life! The person who I have seeken for, the reason why I started my dissent into this abyss, was for you. For that from all the dealers and judges I have to suck off, I was hoping....
    AMC: For a Big Mac? Because I could go for one right now!
    Lindsay: No, I was hoping that one of those cocks... would be yours!

    As she said that, emerging from the ditch on my right came Celine Dion.

    Celine: Near, far, wherever you are!

    But soon she was shot by a random Canadian hunter.

    Hunter: Good shot Archibald!
    Archibald: Why, thank you Gregory! Now grab that corpse so that we can take it home and deskin, and then have sex with it.
    Gregory: Oh utterly brilliant! Would be a fine upgrade from those chickens and turkeys we deskinned and have sex with.
    Archibald: Yes, that does kind of ruin Christmas dinner every year.

    They said, grabbing the corpse and walking off into the horizon.

    Niko: What the hell! What have I just walked into?

    I asked myself, as Lindsay started holding onto AMC.

    Lindsay: Oh AMC! I love you, please don't leave me. I have spent my whole life looking for you.

    She said with tears down her face, something which before seemed to never have occurred with any of her acting role, a sense of believability and connectivity.

    But... I can't. Even though I am so high I can't feel anything, I can already see that my intestines are being minced into sausages by the local butchers.
    Lindsay: No! I won't let your death be on my hands!!

    She screamed with a large amount of pain, suddenly I was moved. How could someone like her be moved by something so trivial? Could this be a sign for myself? Like the whole Godzilla and music thing? Maybe I was being given a sign by fate for something...

    AMC: Wow, I can see a light!
    Lindsay: It's just the headlights of my car! Please don't try to move!
    AMC: I can't, I can see it all so clearly! I can see the sky, and the clouds. The clouds are moving in-sync of my dying breath!
    Lindsay: Not, it just seems that way because you have taken a lot of drugs!
    AMC: It... can't.. be...

    And that was his last words. His last words in this world. So meaningless, so vague, yet for some reason it resonated inside me – but why?

    Niko: Oh my God. Lindsay Lohan has killed AMC.
    Lindsay: Nooooo!

    She screamed, shaking the still body hoping for something. After trying numerous of times, she grabbed a piece of metal from the wreckage and pierced her skin with it, and soon she followed him into death.

    That unfortunate b.

    I said, as sincere as I could, walking towards the direction of the training pitch. When I arrived I was shaken, and just went into my toilet-office to recuporate, when a sixteen year old striker walked in.

    Kowalinho: Hello boss, how can I say this? You don't look well?
    Niko: Where have you been? Nah, never mind. Look, I don't care. You want to find your woman, your dream girl – go for it. I'll help. And maybe I’ll find mine.
    Kowalinho: But boss, maybe you already have. You, how can I say this, you have options and decisions in front of you, you can take. Babe, Cerina. Maybe one of them will be her. And thanks for offering to help, I just came back from looking in Nottingham and Lincoln – but nothing.
    Niko: It's alright.

    I replied, somewhat instantly. He nodded back and was about to leave when I added.

    Niko: You better be ready for Saturday, because your going to start...

    I said, as a smile etched onto his face. As he left, I pulled open my bottom draw and took out the bottle of Jack Daniels I kept encase for emergencies. For me this was one. I needed to think hard, and then maybe I will be ready for what was about to come.

    To Be Continued.

  4. #179

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    Red cards galore there silly players

  5. #180

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    Krakσw, Poland
    Next on list:

    Sheffield, Peterborough, Birmingham, Leeds, Leicester, Coventry, Manchester and London

  6. #181

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    Franklin the dirty git..

    I'd have done more than push him over and spit in his face.

    I ran him over in my car after the game..

  7. #182

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    Ribble Valley
    How was I supposed to know that the bastard was going to get in the way of my 2 footed lunge. If he hadn't been there I'd have won the ball easy.

    Death of Celine Dion is the single best thing that has ever happened on this forum.

  8. #183

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    That was an awesome update! My head's spinning from the crazy chain of events (also i have a cold)

    Brilliant work!

    Oh yeah, and there were some football matches too, come on you Newark!

  9. #184

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    Nothing, England
    Quote Originally Posted by Kowalinho View Post
    Next on list:

    Sheffield, Peterborough, Birmingham, Leeds, Leicester, Coventry, Manchester and London
    Quote Originally Posted by ZanSnake View Post
    After all, maybe the girl of your dreams is right under your nose?

    And thanks for the replies guys

    Next one i'll work on it soon, and then december one will be next week. Would be a seasonal one, so it would be ironic for me to go on about winter when it is summer If anyone gets who Shepard Bennett is, ie why he is famous for (or should i say his face) they will win something in the next update

    Keep reading and commenting, keeps me motivated

  10. #185

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    Krakσw, Poland
    I know what you can create I hope that girl wont be ugly :keke:

  11. #186

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    Nothing, England
    The First Journey
    Chapter Five:
    Cup Ties and Decisions

    With the same thoughts ringing inside my head, I found it hard to completely forget about the somewhat tragic demise of that druggie, as well as the pressure that I seemed to have off Yermolai and the players for the FA Trophy and my own pressure for the replay against MK Dons. I wanted to at least reach the third round, but with key players suspended, it made the potential squad choices difficult.

    For this I used the same tactic, with Hemphill playing as the second striker (like in the previous league game), helping Zbimg and Kowalinho in attack, Kowalinho who had been able to establish himself into the squad after taking a 'leave of absence' and looked determined (maybe due to the fact, I said that if he played well I would indulge in his hunt for his 'dream' girl the next night). On the wings was O'Toibin, the first choice left winger, and Henderson, who replaced the suspended Wato.

    Clayton played as the DMC as Eejit's suspension started, and the back four was the same one that played against MK Dons, feeling that with the level difference between Dons and Grimsby, they would be able to be certain that they would shut shop and allow the attack speak for themselves:

    With the last result against them being 1-1 draw in the league, I had hoped we could sneak the win and move onto trying to build a formidable force in the league as well as the trophy, making the FA Cup more a 'third' option to gain revenue from attendance.

    Saturday 24th November 2012
    English FA Trophy
    Newark v. Truro

    The ball was placed as I told the squad to do what they do best. The crowd was anxious, I was anxious and the players seemed anxious. The second piece of silver I needed to win, was about to start, and the test of my managerial greatness as well started.


    And as promised to Kowalinho, that night, myself and him went to a nightclub to help find his 'dream' girl.

    Helping him get through security due to my 'essence' of my right hand, and popularity within the region, we started our seemingly difficult task.

    Niko: So what attracts you to a girl? Except for the general female genitals.
    Kowalinho: Why would that matter?
    Niko: Because maybe that aspect could infer to what you instinctive fall for her.
    Kowalinho: Well, Kowalinho likes...

    He said, charging towards the DJ desk, grabbing the microphone, as he played one annoying song.

    Kowalinho: I like the big butts, and I cannot lie!
    You otters can't rely,
    That when a girl walks in, smell like toxic waste,
    And a big Jew face,
    Kowalinho is sprung,
    As she shows her thong,
    Cause I want some of that muff,
    Deep into shorts just glaring,
    Stand out as in it's baring,
    Oh, baby I want to find ya,
    Anglo-Polish mixture,
    No-one come near me,
    Cause that butt is fine,
    Make me want to dine!

    After just one verse, the DJ kicked him off the stage and he returned back to me, as if nothing had happened. But before I could ask him what the hell that was about, another worse nightmare seemed to occur as a car went flying into the nightclub, which meant only one thing.

    Lucia: Niko, you lied to me!

    She said aiming her two pistols towards me, as the nightclub was evacuated.

    Lucia: You said you would bring me here with you and continue our relationship! But it has been months, and I am not even mentioned?
    Niko: Actually I did, in that interview I did...
    Lucia: Actually, you didn't mention me as in me to me!
    Kowalinho: Hello lady, my name is Kowalinho, and I want to ask – how can I say this?-
    Niko: Not right now Kowal-
    Kowalinho: I want to lick your insides like a strawberry Cornetto, and then nibble on your nipples like I was sucking a bottle lid that was sealed shut!

    I tried to save him, I honestly did but...

    Lucia: How dare you speak to me like that?

    She said pointing the pistols at the young forward, who responded by pissing his pants.

    Lucia: And how dare you let him to talk to me like that!

    She said aiming the gun back to me, not making her decisions like a schizophrenic trying to chose the red pill or the blue pill in the Matrix.

    Niko: Look!

    Before I go on a large bouncer, A Massive C came over to try and resolve the matter.

    AMC: Okay, what the f is going on here?

    As he walked over towards us, the wall in which the car crashed into came apart, the support of the building callopsed with half of the roof falling down onto him, cutting him in half.

    AMC: Ah! I can’t feel me legs!!
    Niko: That because they are over there.

    I said pointing to the other side of the room, onto the dance floor. As Lucia looked at the face who was angry towards me, it seemed to click something in her head. She lowered the guns, and walked towards him.

    Lucia: AMC? Is that you?
    Niko: You know this C?
    AMC: Yes it is me, my darling!

    He said grasping onto her hands, as blood flew out of his mouth and onto my nice white £300 shirt.

    Niko: You b!

    I screamed towards him.

    Niko: This was a new shirt!

    They ignored me, as his breathing slowly faded.

    Lucia: AMC! Remember the times we had during training? We were always together! They forbade any relationship, so we couldn't be together!
    AMC: I know my love.
    Niko: Hello doesn't any one care about my fing shirt?
    Kowalinho: I do boss!
    Niko: You can shut the f up! This is all your fault!! Mr 'Big Butts'!
    Kowalinho: You saying I have a large butt?

    He said looking at his rear-end, as Lucia craddled the dying man in her arms. The sight reminded of the one with Lindsay, the same feeling of emptiness came back.

    AMC: I do remember.

    He spoke silently, as more blood came out of his mouth.

    AMC: I promised you that I would find a place where we could run-a-way and elope! I'm sorry that I didn't keep that promise....
    Lucia: No! You still can! Just believe in yourself!!
    AMC: I can't... I can feel the darkness drawing closer. Kiss me, my love, so that my final taste would be your perfect lips...

    Lucia kissed him.

    AMC: Strawberry? I am allergic to strawberry!! It makes me-

    He said before his head exploded.

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! Lucia killed AMC!
    Kowalinho: That b!
    Lucia: Nooooo!

    She scream, caressing his body.

    Lucia: Remember that everything I have done was for you! Everything!

    She screamed as if he was still there, or had a head, but as those words were uttered, from the rubble arose Bryan Adams.

    Bryan Adams: You know it's true:
    Everything I do, I do it for you, oh, yeah!

    And after that, he was shot in the heart by...

    The Canadian hunters – once again they had claimed there prey in the worse atmosphere.

    Gregory: Nice shot Archibald! Two in one month? New record I say!
    Archibald: Indeed it is! Now you know the routine, grab the body so we can deskin and have sex with it!
    Gregory: Got it! Hey, does this make us bisexual then?
    Archibald: Nope. They are dead, so therefore we aren't going to go to hell for having gay sex.
    Gregory: Fantastic news!!

    They said taking the body out with them. Lucia started to shake, and brought one of her pistols to her head.

    Lucia: If I cannot be with you in real life, then I will be with you in my fantasies.

    She said before pulling the trigger, spraying more blood onto my new shirt, but I wasn't bothered. This had given me the answer I had lacked for so long.

    Niko: Let's go Kowalinho. Nothing more to see here.

    I said, as sirens could be heard approaching.

    For the second game against MK Dons, I decided to use the same team that played so well against Grimsby:

    With us being at home, I was hoping we could use that advantage for us to add more pressure on the away side. The fans cheering on us, as they watch the team play brilliantly!

    Wednesday 28th November 2012
    FA Cup First Round Replay
    Newark v. MK Dons

    (Powell '22, MacDonald '40)
    MoM – D. Martin

    It was far from it! Though it looked as if it was an even game with the statistics, we were outplayed and outmatched in talent and level of importance for the two teams. We were sloppy, and when we did have shots it was constantly saved by the oppositions keeper. Tactically, we were out-played, which allowed MacDonald find Powell to score the first goal on the 22nd minute. And it was the same for the second one with Potter finding a large amount of space on the wing to cross it in for MacDonald who sealed it with a flying volley into the back of the net, five minutes left of the half.

    To fight their tactics I decided to switch to a 4-5-1 formation after 41 minutes, taking Kowalinho off for Vasily, who would play along side Clayton in a more restricted role as Hemphill would run forward to help attack – but the change had more negative effect, with the majority of the second half being a battle between two teams midfield rather then adding to the attack liked I had hoped. Zannit came on 81 minutes to played for Henderson, hoping a surge of new energy would able to get us into at least extra time if temperamental Zannit decided to play to his talent, but it wasn't enough and the final whistle came with a result raringly not going our way.

    The team wasn't too bothered or disappointed though, as I made it clear – the FA Trophy was the second most important competition for the club this season, not the cup!

    With the end of an emotional month over and done with, I started to think over what I had decided to do. It might be drastic and I knew that, but no-one gets successful without taking risks – and that is what I was willing to do. Come Christmas, my future might change – for the better or not, I would have to wait, but for now all I could do was look forward to the seven games that was going to happen in December. Bring it on!!

    ************************************************************************************************ English Conference - Saturday 1st December 2012 ************************************************************************************************ ================================================================================================ 2012/13 Table ================================================================================================ Pos Team Pld Won Drn Lst For Ag Won Drn Lst For Ag Pts -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1st Newark 16 6 1 1 18 6 4 4 0 17 9 35 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2nd Hereford 16 5 2 1 21 13 6 0 2 18 11 35 3rd Forest Green 16 4 2 2 9 8 5 3 0 15 8 32 4th Grimsby 16 7 1 0 19 6 1 5 2 10 11 30 5th Newport 16 4 3 1 11 5 5 0 3 10 5 30 6th Luton 16 3 2 3 6 8 6 1 1 19 11 30 7th Stockport 16 5 0 3 16 11 2 4 2 13 13 25 8th Woking 16 4 2 2 14 9 3 2 3 11 12 25 9th Mansfield 16 3 3 2 8 6 4 0 4 12 12 24 10th Kidderminster 16 4 0 4 12 12 3 3 2 15 15 24 11th Barrow 16 4 2 2 13 8 2 2 4 9 13 22 12th Telford Utd 16 2 3 3 15 13 3 1 4 6 10 19 13th Gateshead 17 2 2 5 11 15 3 2 3 10 10 19 14th Hyde 17 3 3 2 18 15 2 0 7 12 19 18 15th Ebbsfleet Utd 16 2 5 1 8 8 2 1 5 9 14 18 16th Cambridge Utd 16 3 0 5 13 18 2 3 3 8 9 18 17th Lincoln 16 3 2 4 13 14 2 1 4 7 12 18 18th Southport 17 2 0 6 7 12 3 2 4 13 14 17 19th Braintree 17 2 2 4 12 17 2 3 4 14 18 17 -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 20th Wrexham 17 2 5 2 13 12 1 1 6 10 21 15 21st Macclesfield 16 2 3 3 17 17 0 3 5 4 16 12 22nd Alfreton 17 2 1 5 7 16 0 3 6 7 18 10

  12. #187

    Join Date
    Krakσw, Poland
    Oh, come on It was probably a mistake to choose that "life mission"

  13. #188

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    Bryan Adams doesn't quite add up to a Celine Dion. Maybe add Michael Buble to the annoying Canadian singers that need to be wiped out. Risking the wrath of Craig Forrest here, but has Canada ever had a decent singer ?

  14. #189

    Join Date
    Krakσw, Poland
    Avril Lavigne? But not add her to annoying ones

  15. #190

    Join Date
    Shania Twain?

    Good update, surprised to get a run out on the right wing. Just as in IRL, I do well when actually played there instead of in defence Shame about the MK Dons match though. Ah well, focus on the FA Trophy

  16. #191

    Join Date
    Great update, and nice team talk!


  17. #192
    Dermotron is offline Sir Mergements

    Join Date
    Your Mother

  18. #193

    Join Date
    Nothing, England
    The First Journey
    Chapter Six:
    A December to Remember!

    It was here. The last month of the year, and the date for me being in charge of Newark Athletic for six months. My goal was simple for the month – win as many matches as possible!

    Straight away I was into manage mode as we had to face Luton, and with so many teams coming into contention for the title, I wanted to make sure I could choose a strong side that would make impressions! Luton were sixth, and only five points behind – whilst Hereford was only a few goals away from taking over us at second place, it mean we needed to win, and with a large amount of goals!

    For this I had to choose the same eleven as last time, with only one change on the subs bench as Wood picked up an injury meaning we were going into the game with one goalkeeper.

    Saturday 1st December 2012
    English Conference
    Luton v. Newark

    (Robinson '45, Watkins '72, Fleetwood '90)(Kowalinho '2 '19, Zbimg '4)
    MoM – Kowalinho

    A brilliant start to the game completely ruined by a poor performance in the defence and in the second half wasted what could have easily been a simple three point game! Straight from the go, Clayton fed the ball through perfectly for Kowalinho who scored simply with 2 minutes on the clock. Hemphill then connected with Kowalinho who fed the ball in for Zbimg just two minutes later – 2-0! But after that it was the same thing, attack brilliantly, poor finishing. And as it came to the end of the first half, we looked like we could score six or even seven goals, but the retreating Zbimg held onto Spiller to hard and gave away a stupid free-kick, in which Luton used to their advantage, Watkins chipped it into the box, Gorbern headed onto goal – saved by Shepard – but only able to parry it to Robinson whose simplistic shot would make Heskey look world class!

    For the second half, the defence tried it hardest, which worked, but Gobbern found Watkins in space who pounced it into the back of the net – 2-3. The attack was fast asleep, it seemed they were happy for their job to have been done. Even Hemphill, who was one of my most consistent players, seemed out of the mindset as Robinson dribbled into the box, putting a low cross in the far post for Fleetwood to score a dramatic late equaliser in extra time! All out hard work – gone.

    After the game, we were told who we would be facing in the next round of the FA Trophy, which would be in January, against:

    Guiseley – another easy result I thought to myself as I chilled in my bathroom stall office, when Joel Power charged into my office with a concerned face.

    Power: You can't fing believe this boss!
    Niko: What?
    Power: Hemphill went for a bicycle kick, determined to repay for his s performance against Luton, and landed directly on his shoulder as BobMem pushed against him. Silly b gone fed up his shoulder – he'll be out for three weeks!
    Niko: Ah, what the hell!

    I screamed out, as I watched Hemphill being taken away to the hospital in an ambulance. Three weeks? Without the captain? Without our top assists? With only one other man available to play as the second striker, who couldn't even be arsed to go to training for most of the week?

    Niko: Well, it looks like we need to make some changes for the next game.

    After thinking it through, BobMem would be the captain (whose record as captain wasn't as recognisable as Hemphills) and Zannit would play behind the strikers. The Eejit, who had come back from suspension, would be on the substitutes bench in case of a needed defensive tactical switch to the team, though I had hoped that being at home as we faced Barrow would help build the sides motivation, rather then the captain on his own.

    Saturday 8th December 2012
    English Conference
    Newark v. Barrow

    (Henderson pen 5, Zbimg '22)
    MoM – L. Zbimg

    A disappointing match, in which we wasn't able to finish our chances, and couldn't make anything count except for a penalty in the fifth minute, which was awarded after Zbimg was collied in the air by Aldred, which Henderson coolly scored in the back of the net. A minute afterwards though, O'Toibin was forced to come off with an ankle issue, hoping for just a stubbed toe or something, on came Van der Voom, playing in a rather deeper role then he was used to when he came on.

    Despite the early lead, and enough midfield control, the chances were astray with a lack of creativity – which Hemphill oozed when he was on the field! Zannit, who was his replacement, tried his hardest in his terms, but never really clicked. Luckily one play seemed eager to play with some creativity as Van der Voom dribbled the ball down the left hand side, did a Rabona cross into the box, which was headed in by Zbimg on the 22nd minute. We then decided to go for a defensive approach towards the second half, feeling that the lads had earned the result, and didn't want to tire them with another game just four days away.

    For the next home game, with O'Toibin exhausted and Zannit playing as good as a bag of s, I decided to switch back to another tactic in which I had already used earlier in the season, allowing for the players to be more accustomed to the positions. With the same two forwards, I decided to push Wato onto the left side of midfield as Vasily played in the centre of the park. Henderson was still on the right, as Hemphill was still injured, and Clayton would be the bridge between the defence and the midfield.

    Wednesday 12th December 2012
    English Conference
    Newark v. Lincoln

    (Kowalinho '19, Vasily '62)
    MoM – M. Clayton

    Another solid performance with a solid result, a good flowing attacking performance which helped us become a consistent threat to the opposition, countering all their attacks to make them become our own – the only problem? Not being more clinical infront of goal! In total we had 10 shots, three on which was on target, two of which were the goals.

    Kowalinho was a man on a mission on two regards – for a goal, and for applaudance – which he got as he took over the free kick taker in Hemphill's absence, after Hutchinson hacked down Zbimg outside the box on 19 minutes. He stepped us with confidence, powered the ball past the wall and straight into the top corner for the first goal, and the only on-target shot in the first half.

    For the last goal, Clayton picked up the loose ball in the attacking third, and as the defensive play-maker, threaded it through cleanly for the on-pursing Vasily who took it in his stride and scored his first goal of the season 62 minutes played. For the rest of the game, we had opportunities, but didn't make them count as the referee finished the game, and us gaining a vital three points.

    7 points out of a possible 9, wasn't bad but I wanted more! For the next game I played the same eleven, except for Clayton being rested and The Eejit having a chance of redemption for his stupid red card a few matches ago, as well as Liam being changed for Hernandez who sat out the last game. Cambridge was the opposition, who seemed destined for a lower half finish in the table – so I thought it would be a routine thrashing!

    Saturday 15th December 2012
    English Conference
    Cambridge United v. Newark

    (Vasily '26)
    MoM – A. Vasily

    But it wasn't. The team was still getting used to the tactical change, and once against we wasn't as clinical in front of goal as I had hoped – 10 shots all game, 4 on target. The game itself reminded that of watching a recently painted wall, waiting for it to finally dry. A painting of something elegant and beautiful, but being constructed by a dash and a dash until the final image was ready. If it wasn't for Vasily and his perfectly timed run into the box, we wouldn't have even scored! A save from a Wato shot, rebounded onto his feet and for the second time in the last two games he found the back of the net, 26 minutes on the clock.

    Fore the second half, a routine change of face with Ediz coming on for Kowalinho, hoping that a resurgent piece of pace could add more for the forwards, but it didn't go as well as I hoped. One shot on target and one off, better then his partner who had four shots but only one on target. We were subdued to long shots and hopeful ones, not really making threats to add more – despite the whole team playing well – but the bright spark was always Vasily, who passed, headed, and tackled to ensure we were doing something at least!

    The bus ride home to Newark was as ever loud as it was, as I sulked at the front, listening to my music and mulling over the choices I was going to make for the next game against Forest Green, who had an outsiders chance for the title. With Hereford straight after, who seemed to be the second strongest threat to our title for the league after Newport, I knew we had to go for back-to-back wins. With Hereford, I would be content with a draw, after the astonishing 4-4 draw on the opening day, but I thought to myself, surely we had grown as a squad since then?

    But, halfway home from Cambridge the bus was forced to stop, with a black car blocking the road. The bus driver opened his window and cursed towards the car, but as the door opened I knew something was about to go down!

    Bus Driver: Hey! What the f?

    Said the angsty middle-classed family man, as the midget stumped his way to his door, before looking up and pulling out a Glock.

    Midget: Didn't your mother ever told you that cursing is wrong?

    He squealed with his chipmunk sounding voice, before aiming the gun at the driver's head. But before he could finish the job, the electronics in the car started to play up. The radio started to play Justin Bieber songs, then Marilyn Manson and then a duet between the two, as the bus started to bounce up and down on his four wheels, like we were some pimp-mobile, and as the bus driver's head was still hanging out of the window, the glass went shooting up and chopped his head off as quickly as San Marino conceding a goal!

    Niko: Oh My Gawd! The bus killed AMC!
    Midget: Metal b!

    It soon stopped as the door to the bus opened, and the midget (literally) jumped on board. He hopped his way over to me, with his pistol aimed at my head.

    Midget: Nikolavski Bergstrom – my leader wants to have a little word with you!
    Niko: I want to have a word to the bus's maker! What is this a Fiat?
    Midget: No! He was cursed. Now, come with me. It is important that you volunteer.
    Niko: And why should I?
    Midget: Because we want a peace offering.
    Niko: Bout fing time!

    I said leaving the bus with my bag of stuff, as I left one of the lads asked me:

    BobMem: And what about us? How are we going to get back to Newark without a driver?

    And then....

    Carly: Hey, I just met you,
    And this crazy,
    But here's my lincense,
    So drive you, maybe?

    BobMem: I'm cool with that!
    Kowalinho: Hi, I dunnno how to say this, but... We'll bang, 'kay?
    Niko: Wait for it...
    Carly: It's hard to think right,
    At this, Baby,
    But while i'm here,
    I'll shag you-

    And as predicted!

    Archibald: Boom, headshot!
    Gregory: Brilliant work as usual, Archie!
    Archibald: We'll do it, Greg, as long as they keep suddenly appearing!
    Gregory: Archie....
    Archibald: Yes, Gregory?
    Gregory: It's a nice sight,
    By you, Archie,
    But it's murder,
    So threesome, maybe?

    Silent response, then...

    Archibald: Maybe....

    As I was escorted to the black-window tinted all I heard was Kowalinho screaming out 'Carly', and the silence that remained.


  19. #194

    Join Date
    Krakσw, Poland
    Damn you....

  20. #195

    Join Date
    Captain's armband, a speaking part, I must be doing something right

    Cracking write-up, and some good results. No goals conceded in 3 matches since you switched to the more defensive set up, just need those striker fly-boys to pull their fingers out!


  21. #196

    Join Date
    Am I still banned?

    Or just cant get back into the match day squad?

  22. #197

    Join Date
    Watch out Zan, if you upset Wato your player in AYTN4 might suddenly get a mysterious leg break, putting him out for 6 months

  23. #198

    Join Date
    Zan missed it again.

    But I have a long memory and will see if he enters for AYTN 5... Coming October 2013.

  24. #199

    Join Date
    Ribble Valley
    Word of advice to AMC ..... Don't become a Canadian singer !

    Good to be back in the squad after that suspension. Looking forward to holding some silverware before the season is out.

  25. #200

    Join Date
    You played the last two games, wato...

    Zbing seems to be getting hacked a fair bit

    Glad to have scored and on a run of games at the moment!

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