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Thread: Dream Team League - Season 6

  1. #251

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mark View Post
    Ah feck, that's the reason for Redders, not yourself
    What now?

  2. #252

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    Quote Originally Posted by trunky View Post
    What now?
    10m for everyone!

  3. #253

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  4. #254

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  5. #255

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    So I don't get a top 10 bonus even though I finished in the top 10?


    Are you related to Sepp Blatter?

  6. #256

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    BobMem: you're still a bunch of burgundy twats from London.

  7. #257

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    ...Finally I'd like to extend a special thanks to Jesus. The motivation to beat his Man City was installed throughout the squad, no more so than in Stefan Kiessling, legend of goalscoring. The squad as a whole are all united in agreement that such a great finish in the league wouldn't have been possible without Man City's constant hounding.

    Kiessling's available for the right price/swap

  8. #258

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    As the players sat in the vast away dressing room at the Etihad trying to listen to the dull voice of interim manager Stephen Clemence, a balding man jogged his way through the car park littered with expensive looking cars. He stopped at one that looked slightly out of place. "That will be Stephens", thought the slightly chubby man. Giving the Volvo estate another quick glance he jogged on, heading towards the huge security guard looming over the players entrance door. " I need to get into Hull's dressing room", the very out of breath jogger rasped. "Pass", said the behemoth in front of him. "Thanks very much", replied the man with no hair. "No Sir", boomed the giant, "I need to see your pass." "Oh", said the smaller man, "I don't have one but my name is Mike Phelan and I am the assistant manager of Hull City. Or at least I was until I was kidnapped and force fed delicious home made broth".
    Back in the dressing room the speech had stopped. The players were stretching out any last minute kinks and getting ready to join their GerMan City opponents in the tunnel when suddenly the door burst open. "Blimey", shouted Micah Richards in his familiar but horrible Brummie accent. "Zut alors", exclaimed Schneiderlin. "Ay Caramba", shouted a few South Americans. "Oh", said Stephen Clemence. Mike Phelan stood in the door way panting heavily. "Hello you lot", he said between breaths. "I escaped!"

    With Mike Phelan taking his place on the bench alongside stand in Manager Stephen Clemence Hull's players found themselves slightly buoyed and this showed on the pitch as they raced into a 2 goal lead after 31 minutes thanks to a brace from Lavezzi. The game ended with the same score line as Hull dominated the game to such an extent that German City had no shots on or off goal in the entire match. The only down side was another injury to one of their strikers.

    Obviously the post match press conference was filled to the brim with journalists and Police alike. The questions came thick and fast and were all directed at Mr Phelan. "Did he recognise his captors?", "Was he pleased with Hull's response to his turning up?", "Was the broth really that good?" and "really guys, where are the toilets, I'm busting here."

    He answer every question as best he could. "No he didn't recognise any of them although he might have caught a suspicious Mexican type accent once", "Yes he was very pleased with the way Hull played today and very proud", "You have no idea how good the broth was, no idea at all" and "Go out the door, turn left and the gents are down the stairs to your right."

    With Hull City now back in the safe hands of Mike Phelan a renewed confidence settled like a cloud of happy thoughts over the Stadium with many names. The players responded well to his and Stephen Clemences training methods and took on their next opponents, high flying Tottenham Hotspurs with gusto.

    A tight game saw Hull take the lead in the second half thanks to a Lavezzi dive and a well taken Pastore penalty. Unfortunately, Tottenhams star striker, Aguerooooooo, scored a few minutes later and the game petered out into a tame 1-1 draw. Mike Phelan told the waiting press after the game that he was "Very pleased with the effort, the players ran themselves into the ground, they kept their heads, I was happy that they stayed on their feet."

    A few days later Hull City welcomed fellow strugglers Swansea City to the K.C Stadium in what would be very dull and even game of football. Once again Hull took the lead, this time it was a fantastic effort as star player Toure ran past two Swansea players before scoring with a thunderbolt, and the score stayed this way until the 90th minute when substitute Van Persie scored with a header from a free kick that Toure had needlessly given away. Mike Phelan described himself as "A bit sad" but that was due to the lack of broth rather than the game of football. He went on to praise the groundsman, the players, his friend Stephen Clemence, the bloke who sold him a raffle ticket and the woman who cleaned the toilets.

    And so the Hull City bandwagon moved onto the last game of the season. The club had a few highs and lots of lows this season what with the Manager's breakdown, his replacement being arrested, his other replacement getting himself kidnapped and the next replacement having all the charisma of a twig but they had come through it. A win against fellow underachievers Everton would mean a top ten finish, the assistant managers favourite of all the finishes with a number in them.

    Hull, sensing Mike Phelan's excitement about getting a top ten bonus if they won, dominated a quite frankly poor Everton. Toure scored to give Hull a lead only to put through his own net when a header hit him and rolled into the net. Hull still continued to attack and were rewarded when Pastore scored after a fantastic team move. The scoreline stayed at 2-1 until the final whistle meaning that Hull, once again, had finished in the top ten.

    A special post match press conference was called after the game and was attended by both Phelan and Clemence plus a Policeman with lots of bits on his lapels. As the room noise died mainly due to Mike Phelan waving his hands around for a bit, the Policeman with lots of things on his lapels stood up. "Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, I stand before you to try and clear my name, my good name, that has been besmirched by these outrageous allegations made against me. I did not, under any circumstances, steal underwear from washing li..." he said before looking up and stalling. "Erm...sorry, wrong speech" he whispered before turning red and pulling another piece of paper out of his pocket. As he did this a very small pair of frilly lace knickers fell out. The Policeman quickly stuffed them back in his pocket, cleared his throat and started again.

    "Trunkinho has escaped from the secret hospital facility just off the A63, near South Cave, just past the Post Office, where he had been placed due to his decreasing mental state. We have no idea where he could be but urge everyone connected to Hull City to be very vigilante as he appeared to have quite violent thoughts towards the club."

    With that said he quietly folded the piece of paper, replaced it in his pocket and left the room. The room, sensing the need to be quite for a bit before exploding in noise, did just that as all the journalists stood up, shouted a few questions very loudly at the astonished top table and then ran for the exit doors.

    The two interim managers glanced at each other, calmly collected their things before slowly walking out of the room. It was only then that their pace quickened, slowly at first before they both burst into a run, heading for the car park and safety.

    At the back of the car park, in a small bush, crouched a dirty rain coated man. He cleared his throat and spat in the direction of the fleeing assistant manager/ coach, watching them fumble for keys before eventually opening their car doors and driving off. He spat again, lit a cigarette and muttered "I wiil Keel youz both" to himself before shuffling away.

  9. #259

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    A few days later Hull City welcomed fellow strugglers Swansea City to the K.C Stadium in what would be very dull and even game of football.

    How VERY dare you!



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