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Thread: Dream Team League - Season 6

  1. #51
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    Great month for West Ham, defying the critics (and the manager's) expectations. We're flying high despite the draw to end the month. Still unbeaten in the league and through in the UEFA cup. Couldn't ask for more!

    Fantastic write-up Mark. As Jamie Redknapp would say: top, top, top, top effort!

  2. #52
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    Also, Jesus Navas scored the only goal in the game vs Jesus

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by BobMem View Post
    Also, Jesus Navas scored the only goal in the game vs Jesus
    Fuck off mate.

  4. #54
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    September, the managers favourite of all of the months straight after August, rolled into town and brought with it bottom of the table Derby County. By half time Lavezzi had put Hull 2-0 up and the manager seemed pleased even though star cake eater Toure was taken off after 35 minutes. An own goal by Argentinian superstar Mascherano and a last minute dribbly run and shot by Elyounounounounssi that the bald goalie dived over changed his mood abruptly.

    "I've had enough of this bullshit", exclaimed Hulls less than fragrant manager, trunky, after his side had thrown away the 2 goal lead. "At least ONE of my strikers knows where the net is" he shouted before standing up, sitting down, standing up again sharpish, wincing and then leaving the press room.

    The following Thursday saw Hull travel to Scotland to play Glenavon in the managers favourite of all the European cup competitions that are not the Champions League only to be told that they were actually from Northern Ireland. After a quick bus dash to catch the ferry Hull made it to the ground with literally hours to spare. A goal from Czech superstar and soon to be picked in the first team, Vydra, and a couple from an old Russian saw Hull win a comfortable game 3-0.

    Sunday bloody Sunday sang U2 in the 80's and it could have been written about Hull's next game, which was away at top of the table Ipswich. Even though Hull had 12 shots on goal to their hosts 2, and 6 on target, Ipswich made both of theirs count as Arteta scored from a hopeful shot which squirmed under baldies arm and a superb free kick.

    "Super Keepered" mutter Hull's temperamental boss. "Although I will lay part of the blame on a certain striker, you know, the tall one up front, I forget his name, head like a 50p, whatisface."

    Over a week had passed since the Ipswich game meaning all the squad apart from the cake lover were fit and raring to go against a Southampton side filled with defensive talent. This, along with some more wasteful shooting by the Hull forward, led to a dour game that ended 0-0.

    The press room was full to bursting in anticipation of Hull's erratic manager but instead the assistant manager, Mike Phelan, turned up and fielded the questions. When asked where the manager was he had this to say...

    "trunky has an infection that he caught whilst on holiday in August. It's nothing to severe but will mean that he won't be around for the next few days. I will be picking the team until he returns from the clinic...erm...hospital."

    The following Wednesday saw a refreshed and relaxed looking Hull beat Glenavon in the return leg of the Assistant Managers least favourite of all the European cup competitions that are not the European Cup by the odd goal, scored by Czech wonder kid, Vydra with his only shot. When asked at the post match press chat if Vydra would get a start at the weekend Mike Phelan had this to say.

    "Nope. I would imagine that I will bring him on at around the 58 minute mark though. Give him a run out. That sort of thing. Jumpers for goalposts. Isn't it?"

    And so the September fixtures came to an end with the journey up the east coast to take on high flying Newcastle United. An exciting game saw Hull take a 2-0 lead through a Dzeko brace before Newcastle pegged them back with 2 goals from some Brazilians. The game looked like it would fizzle out into another draw until French midfielder, Scneiderlin, popped up to take all 3 points back to Hull. This was very well deserved as Hull had 10 shots on target against 5 for Newcastle with most of the action taking place in the Geordies half.

    At the press conference after, Mr Phelan was asked about Hull's recent habit of dominating games without actually converting their shots on target into goals. "We have had a good month," he replied, "and apart from one super keeper match we would have remained unbeaten, so I am not too worried about our shot conversion rate and besides, trunky will be back in charge for the next match after his...erm...condition has cleared up."

    And with that he got up, politely nodded at the hacks, and quietly left the room.

  5. #55
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    Right then - just looked at save.........

    Liverpool - we won 3-2 but BATTERED them - should have been more

    Arsenal - abosolute JOKE that we lost that - had more than double efforts against goal and on target - very harsh loss!

    Fulham - we won 2-1 but BATTERED them - should have been more

    Chelsea - bad day at the office but 3-0 was VERY harsh - best team won though fair play to AMC's boys


    So - what I thought was a disaster for Swans doesn't look too bad on the save........................but it's where we are in the table is all that counts

  6. #56
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    After failing miserably last month with a new formation, I decided to go back to basics and employ a tactic that we had used with success last season. Lining up in a familiar 5-3-2 formation we first played Arsenal at The Etihad and a single goal from Dennis Aogo got us off to a winning start.

    This win was followed up by a demolition of St. Johnstone in the UEFA Cup (a cup which I was hopeful of progressing far in). Goals from Dennis Aogo, Sidney Sam, Kevin Volland and André Schurrle wrapped up the win inside the first 45 minutes which allowed us to relax in the second half and conserve energy for the next game against Derby.

    Derby had found it difficult to adapt to the Premier League and I knew we could capitalize on the technical naivety of fellow manager peaceboy. We started off positively and domiated the game recording 10 shots, 6 of which were on target. In the end three goals from Gundogan, Schurrle and substitute Lasogga handed us three points.

    Our next test was against BobMem's West Ham and I just want to put it on record now, I fucking hate West Ham. They're a set of absolute tight-fisted wankers. The game itself was a stalemate up until the 74th minutes when Besic had to go off injured. During that minute, West Ham decided they didn't want to play by the rules and Jesus Navas ran the ball in to our net and claimed a goal. Bizarrely the referee didn't see anything wrong with it and let them keep the goal which gave West Ham the win. Guess who had dogshit posted through their letter box that evening?

    With the farce of the previous fixture still fresh in our minds we traveled up to Scotland where predictably it was raining. "Right lads, take your frustration out on these haggis eating, bag pipe loving, irn bru swilling, cunts. I want you to make them cry. It's bad enough we have to run around in torrential conditions in what seems like a third world country so make sure we put them to bed yeah?". We did exactly that. A goal from Sidney Sam and a brace from Kevin Volland saw us through to the next round 7-0 on aggregate.

    To round off the month we headed to Crystal Palace. A fairly even game saw the balance tip in our favour and super-sub Lasogga smashed one in to give us the three points.

    Three wins and a loss in the league and a convincing win in the UEFA cup makes me very happy (despite that utterly ridiculous result against West Ham, wankers). We're now up to 10th in the league. Roll on next month.
    Last edited by Jesus; 21-09-15 at 07:20 AM.

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jesus View Post
    I fucking hate West Ham. They're a set of absolute tight-fisted wankers.


    That's gonna cost you...

    Great write-up Jesus. You seem angry about something that I can't quite put my finger on.
    Last edited by BobMem; 20-09-15 at 09:00 PM.

  8. #58
    Something about overcharging him for a bottle of riesling?

  9. #59
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    Nice one lads, keep your summaries of your own results going

  10. #60
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    Dream Team League - Season 6 - October


    September was a big month for the likes of peaceboy and vinjwoods as they both moved away from the bottom three which now consists of West Brom, Sunderland and Arsenal. Can they keep it up and in turn, can Redknapp69 and pyromyst rescue their alarming league form to avoid being dragged into danger?

    At the opposite end of the table, three teams remain unbeaten. Janis89, Erkifino and BobMem have yet to taste defeat and will be looking to extend that run throughout October.

    All but one Dream Team League managers have submitted a squad for this month. The missing one is Norwich's ebfatz who receives the first strike of the season. With Norwich in 8th place, it could be a crucial strike for his side as they look to qualify for Europe for the first time.

    1st October
    Premiership
    Arsenal 1:1 Hull
    Chelsea 3:1 Sunderland
    Crystal Palace 1:3 Aston Villa
    Derby 1:1 Tottenham
    Everton 4:0 Norwich
    Ipswich 0:1 Man Utd
    Man City 0:0 Swansea
    Newcastle 3:1 Fulham
    Southampton 3:1 Liverpool
    West Ham 4:0 West Brom

    A full schedule on the 1st October sees Janis89, BobMem and Erkifino all continue their unbeaten start to the season with wins over Liam, West Brom and Crystal Palace respectively. However, peaceboy certainly gets one of the results of the day in holding ajvonkrondor to a 1:1 draw at home. It's a big result for Derby given that they lost three players to injury throughout the game before Andreas Cornelius scored a 90th minute equaliser. Elsewhere, Norwich were made to pay for the absence of their manager with Fodster recording an impressive 4:0 win while Dermotron, Mark and AMC were victors over vinjwoods, pyromyst and Sunderland. Lastly, Redknapp69 and Jesus played out a 0:0 draw at the Etihad Stadium.



    11th October
    Premiership
    Aston Villa 2:0 Liverpool
    Everton 2:0 Derby
    Hull 0:3 Man Utd
    Man City 0:0 Newcastle
    Sunderland 2:1 Ipswich
    Swansea 1:1 Tottenham
    West Brom 1:2 Fulham

    After five games without a win, pyromyst will be delighted to win at The Hawthorns where two goals in the last 10 minutes, including a 90th minute penalty by Jonathan de Guzman earned him three points. Redknapp69 and ajvonkrondor play out a second consecutive draw, as does Jesus who was unable to take advantage of a 67th minute red card for Luisao to beat Mark. Erkifino and Janis89 win yet again in beating vinjwoods and trunky while Liam gets a disappointing defeat at Sunderland. Fodster makes it three wins in a row without conceding in defeating peaceboy at home.

    12th October
    Premiership
    Arsenal 0:1 Crystal Palace
    Norwich 1:3 Southampton

    It's two defeats in a row for managerless Norwich this month as Dermotron comes out on top with a 3:1 win away from home.

    13th October
    Premiership
    Chelsea 1:1 West Ham

    BobMem took a lead against AMC at Stamford Bridge through David Villa's 5th strike of the season but it was soon cancelled out by Kevin Groskreutz. It leaves AMC 7th while BobMem is 4th with his unbeaten record still intact.



    14th October
    Champions League, Phase 1
    Basel 1:5 Aston Villa
    Ajax 1:4 Swansea

    Two big away results for Erkifino and Redknapp69 put their teams in a good position to qualify for Phase 2. Both teams need just one point now to ensure progress.

    15th October
    Champions League, Phase 1
    CSKA 2:4 Everton
    Tottenham 1:0 Feyenoord

    Unlike the two in the other groups, wins for Fodster and ajvonkrondor here means that they have already qualified for the next Phase with two games yet to play!

    16th October
    UEFA Cup, Second Round, Leg 1
    Man City 3:0 Qabala
    Rostov 0:1 Hull
    Saint-Etienne 2:1 West Ham
    Vojvodina 0:3 Man Utd

    There's a shock in store for BobMem who is not the only team to lose on the night but also concedes two which is the most his side have let in for 8 games. It was a Joe Hart red card after 8 minutes that cost West Ham as Saint-Etienne scored the resulting penalty and doubled the lead before half-time. In fairness, the Hammers played well and pulled one back through Luka Modric which could be a very vital away goal indeed for the return leg at home.

    18th October
    Premiership
    Crystal Palace 2:0 Swansea
    Fulham 0:1 Aston Villa
    Ipswich 1:0 Norwich
    Newcastle 1:1 Everton
    Tottenham 2:0 West Brom

    Things really aren't going well for Redknapp69 in the Premiership this season as Swansea lose a 5th game in 9 matches at Crystal Palace. Also losing on the night is Norwich which is three defeats in three games this month after ebfatz has gone missing with Liam winning his first match of the month in a local derby. Also winning a first league game of the month is ajvonkrondor in a 2:0 win over West Brom while pyromyst is defeated by Erkifino which makes it 9 unbeaten for Aston Villa. Elsewhere, Fodster and Mark play out a 1:1 draw with Kevin Strootman scoring a 90th minute equaliser for Everton.

    19th October
    Premiership
    Derby 1:3 Chelsea
    Liverpool 1:1 Hull
    Man Utd 3:0 Sunderland
    West Ham 4:0 Arsenal

    West Ham bounce back from the European defeat in style with Stefan Kiesling putting 4 goals past Arsenal, making it 10 goals in 9 starts. Janis89 also remains top of the table with an expected win over Sunderland while AMC comes out on top away against peaceboy. vinjwoods stops a run of two defeats this month with a point against trunky who is also yet to win a league game this month.

    20th October
    Premiership
    Southampton 1:1 Man City

    Two 3:1 wins over vinjwoods and ebfatz gave Dermotron a lot of confidence going into this one but having drawn his first two games of the month, Jesus brought Southampton down to his level with a third draw of the month.



    21st October
    Champions League, Phase 1
    Everton 0:2 Juventus
    Tottenham 3:1 Lille

    It's just as well that Fodster has already qualified for the next stage after losing to Juventus. That leaves Everton needing one point to ensure 1st place in their final group game. Meanwhile, another win for ajvonkrondor makes it 5 out of 5 in Group F with Spurs a whopping 9 points clear of 2nd place.

    Phase 1, Group F
    Feyenoord 0:4 Lille
    Tottenham 3:0 Shakhtar Donetsk

    After a slow start to the season, it does appear as though Tottenham are getting into form now with a 3:0 win keeping AJ top of Group F. Goals from Jose Callejon, Borja Valero and Sergio Aguero helped to beat the Ukrainian side. For Fodster, Henrikh Mkhitaryan was the star against Standard Liege as he struck twice along with James Ward-Prowse and Mattia Destro to keep Everton top as well.

    22nd October
    Champions League, Phase 1
    Porto 0:1 Aston Villa
    Swansea 3:0 FC Bayern

    As expected, wins for Erkifino and Redknapp69 finally secure Aston Villa and Swansea qualification to Phase 2. Both teams have also done enough to ensure that they are the winners of their groups as well.

    25th October
    Premiership
    Arsenal 0:3 Derby
    Aston Villa 2:1 Tottenham
    Chelsea 0:3 Newcastle
    Crystal Palace 1:3 West Ham
    Everton 1:0 Southampton
    Hull 3:1 Fulham
    Sunderland 0:1 Liverpool

    Today was a big opportunity for vinjwoods and peaceboy to get wins on the board against bottom three sides Arsenal and Sunderland and they did just that with wins that sees Derby in 17th and Liverpool in 14th place. Fodster makes it an impressive six games unbeaten with a win over Dermotron but pyromyst loses against trunky who picks up a first win of the month in the Premiership. BobMem and Erkifino remain unbeaten in the league with the latter edging out ajvonkrondor in a close encounter while Mark is victorious against AMC at Chelsea.

    26th October
    Premiership
    Norwich 0:2 Man Utd
    Swansea 2:1 West Brom

    A gambling man would back Janis89 and Redknapp69 to win on Super Sunday and that's what they did as both teams scored two goals to defeat Norwich and West Brom.

    27th October
    Premiership
    Man City 1:1 Ipswich

    You probably couldn't make it up. With four league games to play and 12 points on offer, Jesus has drawn every single one during October to only register 4 points with the latest being a tie against Liam at home.

    The table is looking good for Janis89 who is 5 points clear of Erkifino, Fodster and BobMem as the closest challengers but that trio all have a game in hand. Beyond that, there's Mark, Liam, AMC and Dermotron battling it out in the European spots while ajvonkrondor, Jesus and trunky are looking to break into that area. ebfatz has dropped down to 12th after a no-show this month with Redknapp69 only slightly improving his fortunes. Then we have vinjwoods, pyromyst and peaceboy all trying to drag themselves away from the bottom three.

    The month is capped off with Erkifino being named as Manager of the Month for the first time this season, BobMem seeing a second player win the Player of the Month award in David Villa while Dermotron also sees Gerard Deulofeu win Young Player of the Month for a second time already this season.



    29th October
    League Cup, Third Round
    Birmingham 2:4 Everton
    Bolton 0:3 Aston Villa
    Crystal Palace 3:2 Ipswich
    Fulham 3:0 Sheff Wed
    Newcastle 2:1 Wigan
    Port Vale 2:4 Liverpool
    Rotherham 1:2 Chelsea
    Tottenham 3:0 Doncaster

    The Third Round of the League Cup sees 9 teams in action but one of them have been knocked out. Liam's Ipswich were just about the better side on the day but still fell behind 2:0 before Jordan Rhodes pulled one back with 20 minutes on the clock. Hopes of a comeback were dashed when Crystal Palace, previously managers by Kaneman and Cafcjgreen, made it 3:1 before a late Eduardo Salvio goal meant that Liam joins Dermotron in being knocked out early in the competition. Southampton had been beaten in the Second Round by Birmingham last month who are a team that Fodster had no trouble in defeating.

    30th October
    UEFA Cup, Thrid Round, Second Leg
    Hull 1:1 Rostov
    Man Utd 3:1 Vojvodina
    Qabala 0:4 Man City
    West Ham 4:0 Saint-Etienne

    All eyes were on BobMem's players as they looked to overturn a 2:1 deficit at home. That's exactly what they did in winning 4:0 at home to go through along with Janis89, Jesus and trunky although the latter just about scrapes through after falling behind early on that made it 1:1 on aggregate before a Malafeev red card allowed Hull to restore the lead from a penalty.

  11. #61
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    Great start to the month but petered out in the end. Hard to keep up to the top 4 who are starting a mini break away

  12. #62
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    Well, well, well, looks like West Ham are continuing to outperform expectations! What a superb month! 3 wins and a draw (vs AMC) in the league, safely through (after a first leg scare) in the UEFA Cup. Joint top scorers in the league and a 2nd player of the month award too!

    Fantastic effort on the write-up Mark, I like seeing the 'live' league tables, you can go back and see how the month has gone for a team (like Norwich) who've lost all their games and gradually fallen down the league. Nice 4 draws for Jesus too

    I like the sound of "unbeaten West Ham"

  13. #63
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    0-0; 0-0; 1-1; 1-1 in the league. Bottled it!

  14. #64
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    Also, 2 goals conceded by Janis in 11 games , yet he couldn't keep a cleanie at home to Vojvodina

  15. #65
    The time it takes for you to run a month and do a write up is phenomenal!

  16. #66
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    Dream Team League - Season 6

    Swans CL form against some big teams - exceptional

    Swans PL form - horrendous and relegation battle

  17. #67
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redknapp69 View Post
    Swans CL form against some big teams - exceptional

    Swans PL form - horrendous and relegation battle
    Win your game in hand Redders and you'll be mixing it with AJ and Jesus!

    Hmmm, hope it's not against me...

  18. #68
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    Sweet Lord Jesus Christ. Do my players only get paid for draws or what?

    But great effort, Mark, thx!

  19. #69
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    Crystal Palace 2:3 Ipswich on the board mate, did I lose then?

    Fucking dreadful month.

  20. #70
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    Happy with the results and injuries

    Tough month coming up away to Swans in the cup, then Everton and then City....

  21. #71
    ebfatz is offline Social Media Bod
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    Screw it. Knew there was one of the many things on this site that I'd forget to do.

  22. #72
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    Quote Originally Posted by AJ View Post
    Sweet Lord Jesus Christ. Do my players only get paid for draws or what?

    But great effort, Mark, thx!
    My feelings in a nutshell this month.

  23. #73
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    Blimey!

    1 win, 1 loss and 2 draws in the league...fast becoming the draw specialists!

    Still hanging in the UEFA Cup though.

  24. #74
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    Looks at the save and I think a formation change is in order - not creating enough

    Bloody 2 defenders with decent injuries and Alexis Sanchez out for 3 months

    My left back (Bernat) an avergae rating of 8.58

    Right then - lets work through a few formations for the Swans to get us back on the horse in the league.........

  25. #75
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    Not too bad a month again, will have to look at the Newcastle game though, I suspect a red card (or is that hope for one? )

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